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Okay, to start off with this is a fairly old story from when I first left retail and joined on the phone cell phone support. I was working the overnight shift, nine at night till five in the morning, so even after just a few weeks I had already had my share of crazies. 
I would use some sort of cliché to describe the situation like 'this customer really took the cake' or some such, but after reading thru the archives they've all been used! 
I recieved this call right as my shift started. At the time I was only level two tech so my customer's on average had only been transfered two or three times to get to me. This particular customer's information came in saying that he had spoken to ten different reps in the last fifteen minutes!
Even before he opened his mouth I could tell I was in for a ride. While my automated greeting said hello to the customer and asked for his verification info I read thru some of the acct notes. All of the notes said the same thing; customer's phone is smoking, advise him to unplug it from the charger and douse it in water before it ignites....
To hear the, now in my mind, SC describe the situation you would think that his phone smoking is something like a bill reminder text message that could be turned on and off! I'll try and paraphrase the conversation for you:
SC - yep
Ed - Me
Ed: Sir I see from your acct logs that when you called in your phone was smoking. Have we unplugged the phone and doused it to remove the risk of a fire? (Yeah, I really do talk to them this way
)
SC: Listen son, if I unplug the phone now it wont be charged for tomorrow. Besides, wont my battery get that memory thing?
Note: for those of you that are not 100% phone savy. Ten years ago old fashioned batteries made out of nickel cadmium or nickel metal hydrate would fail to charge if you took them off of the charger before the process was complete, permanently damaging them. While its not a good idea to plug/unplug your phone too often it certainly wont hurt to do it once in a while.
Ed: Sir, if your phone is currently smoking then there is no chance that you will be able to use it at all tomorrow. We will be more than glad to replace your phone under warranty, especially since you have insurance, but we need to get that phone unplugged and doused before it causes any damage to your home!
SC: Um, well, actually it started getting real hot a minute or two ago so I put it on the floor in my frying pan. I think it might be on fire now....
Ed: Use something made out of wood or plastic or rubber to knock the charger out of the wall now! Then fill a bowl with water and douse the phone!
SC: HEY! GETTING MY PHONE WET VOIDS THE WARRANTY JACKASS! DON'T PULL THIS SHIT WITH ME!
Ed: SIR! <Interrupting him> Your house is going to burn down if you don't put your phone out!
SC: DAMMIT! Now the stupid thing really is on fire. You've been no help at all.
Ed:
I am now hanging up the phone so that you can call the fire department. <Click>
As it turns out the previous calls all had similar conversations. The rep on the phone would tell him that he needed to unplug the charger and he would hang up on us and call right back. The CSR that he talked to before me was so frazzled that she transfered to me after arguing with him for a few minutes. I was so unnerved by that call that my manager pulled me to run tickets for the rest of the night.
I wonder to this day if he let his house burn down...
I would use some sort of cliché to describe the situation like 'this customer really took the cake' or some such, but after reading thru the archives they've all been used! I recieved this call right as my shift started. At the time I was only level two tech so my customer's on average had only been transfered two or three times to get to me. This particular customer's information came in saying that he had spoken to ten different reps in the last fifteen minutes!
Even before he opened his mouth I could tell I was in for a ride. While my automated greeting said hello to the customer and asked for his verification info I read thru some of the acct notes. All of the notes said the same thing; customer's phone is smoking, advise him to unplug it from the charger and douse it in water before it ignites....To hear the, now in my mind, SC describe the situation you would think that his phone smoking is something like a bill reminder text message that could be turned on and off! I'll try and paraphrase the conversation for you:
SC - yep
Ed - Me
Ed: Sir I see from your acct logs that when you called in your phone was smoking. Have we unplugged the phone and doused it to remove the risk of a fire? (Yeah, I really do talk to them this way
)SC: Listen son, if I unplug the phone now it wont be charged for tomorrow. Besides, wont my battery get that memory thing?
Note: for those of you that are not 100% phone savy. Ten years ago old fashioned batteries made out of nickel cadmium or nickel metal hydrate would fail to charge if you took them off of the charger before the process was complete, permanently damaging them. While its not a good idea to plug/unplug your phone too often it certainly wont hurt to do it once in a while.
Ed: Sir, if your phone is currently smoking then there is no chance that you will be able to use it at all tomorrow. We will be more than glad to replace your phone under warranty, especially since you have insurance, but we need to get that phone unplugged and doused before it causes any damage to your home!
SC: Um, well, actually it started getting real hot a minute or two ago so I put it on the floor in my frying pan. I think it might be on fire now....
Ed: Use something made out of wood or plastic or rubber to knock the charger out of the wall now! Then fill a bowl with water and douse the phone!
SC: HEY! GETTING MY PHONE WET VOIDS THE WARRANTY JACKASS! DON'T PULL THIS SHIT WITH ME!
Ed: SIR! <Interrupting him> Your house is going to burn down if you don't put your phone out!
SC: DAMMIT! Now the stupid thing really is on fire. You've been no help at all.
Ed:
I am now hanging up the phone so that you can call the fire department. <Click>As it turns out the previous calls all had similar conversations. The rep on the phone would tell him that he needed to unplug the charger and he would hang up on us and call right back. The CSR that he talked to before me was so frazzled that she transfered to me after arguing with him for a few minutes. I was so unnerved by that call that my manager pulled me to run tickets for the rest of the night.
I wonder to this day if he let his house burn down...
I AM the evil bastard!
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