Unsupportable Random Thoughts Thread

[Jay 2K Winger]

For all those simple, short tales of dealing with lusers or other technology-related tales that don't deserve their own threads. Vent your salt and vinegar here!
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Luser: "So I enter the password you sent me exactly as it says?"

No, go ahead and enter it however you like. Maybe try interpretive dance, you dumb fuck.

[Bandit]

Luser: "My phone never rings! It always goes to voicemail! It's BROKEN!

Me - checks programming: "You've manually forwarded it to voicemail. Turn off the forwarding by pressing the button marked 'Forward' that is flashing"




B

Side note - we need some emoji for electrocution and drinking heavily....

[RealUnimportant]

Side note - we need some emoji for electrocution and drinking heavily....

exists here already, probably the best to imply heavy drinking. There's also to show a luser getting their comeuppance, not quite as satisfying as an electric shock though!

For emoji, um... ⚡️☄️ for divine retribution? Other choices for boom or booze seem to get broken by the board code.

Oh, an actual story!

User campaigns heavily for (then) new 1280x1024 flatscreen to replace their 14" crt. User then complains that everything's smaller and they can't read anything without wearing their glasses; turns out they'd had the crt set to 800x600. Resolution is adjusted, but Flatscreen running non-native resolutions look like shit, so user complains more. User eventually told they can either get the old screen back, or wear their damn glasses.

Guess which they chose?

[wolfie]

Flatscreen running non-native resolutions look like shit, so user complains more. User eventually told they can either get the old screen back, or wear their damn glasses.

Guess which they chose?

Not necessarily. If the flatscreen's native resolution had been 1600x1200 instead of 1280x1024, her chosen 800x600 would have looked OK (each "synthesized" pixel would have been a 2x2 block of "native" pixels). What makes it look bad is that if the native resolution is not a multiple of the displayed resolution, some "synthesized" pixels occupy more "native" pixels than others (in this case, some would be doubled, others wouldn't be). A CRT is more of a continuous process, so you don't get such artifacts.

Of course, having a native resolution of 1280x1024 is a giveaway of it being an old story - for years, flatscreens have had a 9:4 ratio instead of the older 4:3 (or close to it, as in the case of 1280x1024).

My guess is that she wanted her CRT back.

[RealUnimportant]

Exactly so regarding the resolution; the only available resolutions were not equally divisible, and to get a screen big enough to support being rounded down to 800x600 was well outside budget!

And you'll be completely unsurprised to learn you guessed correctly.

[wolfie]

Naturally. A lot of people are blinded by the "I want the latest and greatest" syndrome, not realizing that for what they're doing the "old school" tool they're using is better for the job than the shiny they're lusting after.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Hey, AppX Support--

If a user is having issues with AppX-- and ONLY AppX-- and has already confirmed all their relevant accesses/etc are up to date, then why the FUCK are you telling them the problem isn't on your end?

I'm sending this ticket to you. Get your head outta your ass.

[Dreamstalker]

The all of thirty seconds I spent 'fixing' your laptop/printer connection? You can do it too! I swear I've written the steps down for you about six times...if you think it will only work when I do it, why don't you try and see? One more time and I'm going to start charging by the second.

[RealUnimportant]

No need to get that detailed with the charging, just institute a standard $X for every hour or any part thereof

[Web_Pict]

Co worker speaking about pc* "I did something when it did nothing and it is not working anymore..."

[RealUnimportant]

@Random Support Drone #3: Before launching into your prepared speech about why a thing doesn't work, make sure you're talking about the thing you were being asked about. You wasted my time, made my customer wait around for no reason, and somehow decreased my already low opinions of your company. If it wasn't for the other two good drones, nothing would ever get fixed around here!

[Jay 2K Winger]

I don't like coming back from break, and the second I click back into the queue, the number of calls waiting jumps up by two...

ETA: I swear, my eye twitches every time I hear someone call their web browser "Foxfire."

[Jay 2K Winger]

User: "My mouse isn't working." (joking tone) "I think the cat got it."
J2K: (deadpan) "Haaa. Dad Jokes, IT Edition."
User:

[dalesys]

User: "My mouse isn't working." (joking tone) "I think ...

I'm not going to post the Female Users supposition...

[Dreamstalker]

Do I really have to put the CD in the drive for you and follow the prompts to install the printer drivers? You too can do this. Why wait until now to tell me "I can't print" when you had all day to insert the disc and follow the prompts? Don't give me that look when I insist that you sit at your computer and pay attention while I am doing what you should have done.

...Then again, you refuse to upgrade your security software because "it wants to sell me a subscription"...no it doesn't, read the screen. I will update it for you exactly once. After today, if you wind up with a virus either you deal with it or I am charging you my full hourly rate.