Nothing's Impossible with the Right Cable

[HawaiianShirts]

This has to do with an HP laptop. The DV9000 series, to be specific. DV9000 laptops are 17" widescreens. On one side of the computer is a card reader, some USB ports, VGA-out, S-video out, and a couple of other things including "Expansion Port 3," which is for the XB3000 expansion/docking base.

That said, here's a phone call from yesterday:

Me: *Store* Computers, this is HawaiianShirts.
SC: I need help finding something for my computer.
Me: Well, I can try to help. What are you looking for?
SC: I've got an HP 9000 laptop. You familiar with them?
Me: Yes, I am.
SC: Well, y'know that SD/MMC/MS/XD port on the side? I need a cable for that.
Me: (confused) You mean your card reader?
SC: Yeah, that. The SD/MMC/MS/XD port.
Me: And you need a cable for that?
SC: (incredulously) No! Expansion Port 3!
Me: You need a cable for Expansion Port 3?
SC: (satisfied I finally got it) Yes.
Me: Well, I carry the Expansion Base as a whole, but I don't think I have any cables just for the Expansion Port 3. What are you trying to connect?
SC: My DVR.
Me: (at a loss) ...
SC: I want to hook up my DVR to my computer and my TV so I can play games on the computer with the TV screen and record myself playing them onto my DVR.
Me: Well, sir, I don't know if that's possible, but I do know that I have no cable that will connect from Expansion Port 3 to a DVR. As I understand it, the Expansion Port 3 is ONLY for the Expansion Base.
SC: That's not what the guy at HP said!
Me: Are you sure you weren't looking for a VGA cable or an S-video cable? Those can connect your computer to your TV, and then you may be able to use your DVR to record your games that way.
SC: The guy at HP SAID I needed something for Expansion Port 3.
Me: Then I'm afraid you'll have to call HP and try to order it from them. If such a cable exists, I've never seen it.
SC: Fine. Screw you too. (click)

Where do people come up with these ideas?

[Polenicus]

It's as someone said before, there's an odd mental process that goes on with Sucky People.

Now, like normal people, Sucky People often don't know things, and will seek to fill this gap in knowledge by asking questions. Up to this point, they're just like the rest of us. However, at this point things go screwy.

In most cases, they don't fully comprehend the answers they were given, but unlike normal people, will not try and clarify the answer. They will instead take the half-remembered details of the answer, mix it together with their own misconceptions about the issue, glom it all together with chewing gum and then cement it into their minds. This idea then becomes their masterwork, something of pride and considerably affection to them.

With a normal person, when we find out our information is wrong or incomplete, we revise our idea, or chuck it completely and replace it with a new one based off of the corrected information. We normally go through this process several times, evaluating new input and slowly constructing what we believe to be the correct answer. Not so with the Sucky Person! Their first newborn idea is precious to them, like a child. And like a mother defending their cub, they will violently and angrily repel any attempts to dislodge it. Logic, reason, hard evidence, all are batted away as they cling to their original hodgepodge idea. In many cases they will attempt to alter reality itself, or demand others do so, in order to protect their gruesome idea-child.

[trunks2k]

I bet with the right cable, you can make External IDE HD connect to your computer through a PS/2 port. Why bother inventing USB, Firewire, or e-SATA

[LostMyMind]

not just the right cable, but driver too

You can connect anything through any port, with the right cable and "driver"

[trunks2k]

You can connect anything through any port, with the right cable and "driver"

Well that's probably theoretically true. Just don't expect anything to run with any sort of efficiency.

That would be an interesting experiment... see if you can create a cable/adapter & driver that can make a external HDD run off a PS/2 port. Doesn't have to work well, it just has to work.

[JustADude]

It's as someone said before, there's an odd mental process that goes on with Sucky People.

That would be me. My analogy was more along the line of barnacles clinging to a rock, but yours is even better! And yeah, that was a prime example of total miscommunication.

I can't remember the name of it exactly, but there's a cable out there that adapts a laptop's A/V-Out ports to TV-compatible formats. I know because I use one to watch AMVs and Red vs Blue on my TV regularly. Heck, it might plug into that port, but I don't remember enough detail right now to say for sure one way or the other. It should have come with the laptop, though.

[LostMyMind]

That would be an interesting experiment... see if you can create a cable/adapter & driver that can make a external HDD run off a PS/2 port. Doesn't have to work well, it just has to work.

If it's a external USB HDD, it wouldn't be that hard. PS/2 port is just a serial port just like USB. In fact some mouse comes with a USB to PS/2 adapter. It will just be running at USB 1.1 speed that's all. There are already IDE to USB converters out there. Again like you said, speed and efficiency would be lacking.

[Mr. Rude]

GAH!!! Nothing drives me up the wall more than people looking for some cable to connect a widget to the whatchamacallit port. Of course they don't know what the part is...

[HawaiianShirts]

A co-worker reminded me of another one. This one's from a little over a year ago when the LCD flat-panel monitors were still rather expensive. At the time, our least expensive one was an HP 15" for $285.

A guy came in asking about monitors. He said he wanted a new one. Simple, right?

SC: I don't need just any monitor, though. I need a USB monitor.
Me: A USB monitor?
SC: Yeah. I need one that uses the USB port. You have those, right?
Me: No, sir. I've never seen a monitor that uses USB for the video signal. I'm not sure that it's even possible.
SC: I thought everything was going USB now. Well, see, I've got one of those big box monitors. It's really old. Well, the other day, I was moving stuff around, and the vid cable (that's what he called it--a "vid" cable) got jerked out of the port. The cable's fine, and the monitor is fine, but the vid port is bent out of place so I can't connect anything to it. So I thought I'd just get a monitor that uses a different cable. I thought USB would do it. I don't want one that connects to my printer port 'cause then I'd have to disconnect my monitor if I wanted to print.
Me: That's just it, sir. There are no monitors for the parallel printer port either. Parallel, serial, and USB ports are all very similar, so far as the computer is concerned. VGA is something entirely different.
SC: Well, lemme ask you this, then: do you have a converter?
Me: To convert VGA to USB? No. I'm fairly certain that doesn't exist.
SC: What am I gonna do then?
Me: You could buy a graphic card. That would give you a replacement VGA port, and your old monitor would work with that.
SC: Hm. Well, I think I'll try (competitor down the street) first. Maybe they have newer stuff.

I think he was just bent on getting a new monitor. And having nearly everything connect to USB ports now doesn't help. At least once a week I get someone wanting a USB-A to USB-A cable to connect their printer, thinking that the printer's USB input (for PictBridge, flash drives, and camera USB cables) was the output to the computer. It takes me and at least one other co-worker about ten minutes to convince these people that they actually need a USB A-B device cable, and that, yes, their printer does have the USB-B connection.

The stupidity is entertaining. It's the customer's tendency to not listen to people who know what they're talking about that annoys me.

[sld72382]

I don't think the first guy was that stupid, actually. What I believed happened was the idiots at HP told him something untrue just to get him off the line. And of course people like that always believe the manufacturer before a salesperson.

[MacPrince]

Y'know, HawaiianShirts, believe it or not...

Not that I'd use one, but they are out there.

[HawaiianShirts]

Y'know, HawaiianShirts, believe it or not...

Not that I'd use one, but they are out there.

Wow. I never would have guessed. Still, a low-end graphic card is cheaper and easier to find.

[Alephcat]

even better than that Samsung has now made it even more confusing for those of us dealing with SC's who have got their facts wrong and have come up with a USB monitor. linky

[jb17kx]

A friend of mine (F, we'll call him) worked at a Dick Smith (hobby electrical place) when somebody came in and asked him for a cable to connect their computer to a television. F worked out that the customer meant S-Video cable, and went over the the shelf with that cable.

F: This would be what you wanted, sir.
SC: No! That's not right - that's what I want!
F: Sir, that's XLR cable. That's for...
SC: Oh no, wait... That's got the wrong number of plug-thingies. The television has 4. Aha!
F: Sir, that's XLR4 cable, for sound. For video you need either S-Video, VGA, DVI, Composite, or Component cable.
SC: No! This is what I need!

Well - I'd love to see how that worked out. XLR is only 3 times the size of the MiniDIN plug S-Video uses.