For those of you who work phones; DO NOT try to guess the customer's gender!!

[cinema guy]

I'm 36 and I still think any saying Mr. <mysurname> is addressing my dad.

[kathyhansen]

When I worked at Gateway in a call center, I would always write down the name of the person calling (asking for their name was the first question I opened the call with after my greeting).

Then, instead of Ma'am or Sir, I would just use their name. It worked great, and the quality control folks loved it because it gave the call a more personal feel.

So glad I don't work in a call center any more . . . my condolences (and much respect!) to those of you who do work in one!!

Phoenix

At my call centre it is one of the SOPs that we personalise the call with the caller's name, eg Thank you for calling Joe Bloggs. Sometimes, of course, the message is pls call your Dad, and occasionally, at the end of the message, I will say thank you for calling Dad!

[Imogene]

And, of course, the people who take actual offense at being called such... have no suggestions for what else to use.

'Xir'. If you can pronounce it, congrats. Most of us can't. 'Us' being trans/a-gendered... I personally say it like 'shear', but I don't know if that's correct, and, just like furres, you will not get the same answer between any two people as to whether that's acceptable/whatever.

[Geek King]

'Xir'. If you can pronounce it, congrats.

Hmmm, I'm hearing 'Zir' in my head, but that could just be the little troll who wants to burn the training room down. I have to keep him on a short leash.

[EmiOfBrie]

When I was 16, I worked at a local fried chicken place. We had a person that sold flowers on our corner. Said person wore dresses, but was obviously (at least genetically) male. (S)he came in an placed an order with me, and when I finished serving him/her, I said, "Thank you, sir...er...ma'am...er...." and blushed and apologized profusely. (S)he said, smiling, "That's ok, I've been called much worse!"

Usually, if someone is wearing a dress, it's ok to default to addressing her as female.

At least that's what spending years in the GLBT community has taught me

[JustADude]

Hmmm, I'm hearing 'Zir' in my head, but that could just be the little troll who wants to burn the training room down.

Ditto for Zir, which I guess would be like Miz and Miss.

I go with Emi on the appearance thing. If they're trying to look female, I use feminine pronouns, male accoutrement gets male pronouns, and when in doubt I take my best guess and then switch if they correct me. Always figured awkwardness and embarrassed stuttering would be worse than guessing wrong.