Address Bar. ADDRESS BAR! (long, as usual)

[HawaiianShirts]

As a computer seller in my store, I am not supposed to do tech support, especially software support over the phone. That's for the in-store techs to do. I can try to figure out what the problem is to speed up the process, but I'm not supposed to actually try fixing it. Well, today I tried. I didn't want to send this caller up to the tech bench because he was already furious and the techs were really busy.

This guy had purchased a computer package just over two weeks ago for his father. They got the typewriter special: Celeron processor, 512mb RAM, 80gb HDD, CD-RW/DVD-ROM Combo Drive, and Windows Vista Home Basic. This thing is slow at best. We try to avoid selling it, not because it's the cheapest computer in the store, but because I can think of no user who would be satisfied with it for very long. But this guy bought it. It came with a 17" CRT monitor and a Lexmark printer.

He couldn't get the printer to work. In spite of all my co-workers being trained to tell customers they will have to download Vista drivers before they can attach and/or use their printers, this guy missed it. Either a clueless manager was helping the department and sold to him without this piece of information, or the customer just wasn't listening.

He told me, angrily, that he had hooked up the printer just like he was supposed to and "installed the disk." It didn't work. He called Lexmark tech support for help. They had him reboot his computer, uninstall from the disk, reinstall from the disk, and reboot his computer again. Surprise: it still didn't work. So now I'm getting yelled at for selling a useless product.

I told him he needed to go to Lexmark's website and download and install the Vista drivers for his printer model. That would make it work. Then we have this conversation:

Caller: I DID that already!
Me: You downloaded and installed the drivers from Lexmark's website, and it still won't work?
Caller: Yeah! I went online and searched for my printer, and all it said was Drivers & Support. So I clicked on that, but it didn't do nothing!
Me: Ah, so you didn't actually download anything then.
Caller: Why the **** didn't those ******* at Lexmark tell me to do that?
Me: I don't know, sir.
Caller: Well you should stop selling pieces of **** like this! Why couldn't you just sell me something that worked?
Me: The printer will work. We'll make it work. And, at this point, you have to download the Vista drivers for all the printers I carry here. Not for much longer, but none of them are currently included with the printer.
Caller: That's ********!
Me: It is annoying. Now, technically I'm not supposed to provide support for this stuff, but the techs are busy, and this should be fairly easy. Are you near the computer?
Caller: I'm sitting at it now.
Me: Good. Can you access the internet without disconnecting the phone?
Caller: Yeah.
Me: Okay. I want you to open your internet browser and go to support.lexmark.com.
Caller: Support... Lexmark... (keyboard click) (pause) Um... I don't think this is it. All it says is... um...
Me: Did you type in support dot Lexmark dot com?
Caller: Oh. No. Let me try that. Support... dot... Lexmark... dot... com... Okay. It came up with (at this point he starts reading me descriptions of search results including where to buy Lexmark printers, where to get reviews of Lexmark printers, and details of Lexmark's presence on the stock exchange).
Me: Sounds like you searched for it.
Caller: I typed in what you SAID!
Me: And I think you put it in a search bar. I need you to type that into your address bar instead. It should be at the top of your browser window. In fact, it's the highest part in the browser that will let you type anything.
Caller: Oh. Okay. (pause) It brought up (search listings again). I did this already, and I told you it didn't WORK. Which one of these do I click on?
Me: None of them. You searched for it again. You need to put this address in your address bar, not the search bar.
Caller: My what?
Me: It's part of your browser program. It's where you would type a web address, like www.google.com, or something like that.
Caller: Yeah, these are Google search results.
Me: (sigh) What browser are you using?
Caller: Huh?
Me: What program do you use to access the internet?
Caller: AOL.
Me: Okay, you're an AOL customer. Do you use their browser, Internet Explorer, or something else?
Caller: How the **** should I know? It's AOL!
Me: Okay, on the very bottom of your screen is your task bar. Does that show either a picture of an e with a yellow line across it or a blue and orange circle at all?
Caller: No.
Me: You're using AOL's browser then. I need you to open Internet Explorer.

I walk him through that process, and he automatically searches for the site again, using that pre-installed Google toolbar. We go through the same dance again. I tell him to use the address bar, but he doesn't know what that is. No amount of my describing it can help him find it. I have the webpage open on a display computer in the store in front of me. I could download the correct drivers with two clicks. If only he could find the address bar!

He tried that search bar a dozen times. He tried his Title Bar. He tried the taskbar. He tried going back to the AOL program and searching again. He tried the search bar in the Vista Start menu. He tried somethings that had me thoroughly confused. It was all just making him more angry (because I'm not being helpful) and me more aggravated. And all of this is on a dial-up connection, so it's nice and slow.

I finally gave in.

Me: Okay. You know what? Either something's not working right on your computer, or I'm not communicating this effectively. Come on in to the store, and we'll download those drivers for you.
Caller: Now you think the computer's ****** up?
Me: No, we can get it working right. Just come in, and we'll get the drivers on a disk for you. This is obviously not working.
Caller: Well, fine. But if this doesn't work, my Dad's a retired lawyer, and we'll get you guys good! I'll be in tomorrow. (click)

Ugh.

[JustADude]

My brain hurts from that stupidity.

On another note, I don't know if this works in Vista, but in XP you can have them open up any folder and replace the C:\ stuff with HTTP:\\ and it'll go to any webpage.

[lordlundar]

On another note, I don't know if this works in Vista, but in XP you can have them open up any folder and replace the C:\ stuff with HTTP:\\ and it'll go to any webpage.

But they need to know where to type first.

[Forgreatjustice]

the sad thing is that some people actually turn off there address bars.
never figured out why.

[JustADude]

But they need to know where to type first.

Tell 'em to look for the line of text that starts... yeah, you're right. C-Colon would probably make them look in the bathroom.

[Xarthedia]

Gah, I feel your pain. We don't get many of these at my call center, but the ones we get are Grade A, prime cut, state of the art, clueless idjits.

Not being able to find the address bar, or even knowing what one is, is one thing. But I've also had several people who couldn't find the period key, the comma key, enter and the space bar, for...!!

Honestly, if you obviously have no clue how to use a computer, then start out slow. No point in trying to use e-forms if you don't even know what I mean by "keyboard".

Baby steps, young grasshopper, baby steps...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

OMG . . I think somebody needs a good dose of

No prescription needed. Just ask for it at the front register.

[Shabo]

the sad thing is that some people actually turn off there address bars.
never figured out why.

Oh, I'll tell you why. They do it by accident because they can't use a mouse properly, and then don't realize it's gone until they screw something else up and call us.

And to HS... They still sell CRTs?!?!?! WTF? I mean, the 512 mb Ram is a little more understandable (except with Vista), but a CRT?!

How much did he spend on this package? $200? Geeze! And he gets mad at you for selling this crap, lol, he should be mad at himself for buying said crap!

[IlovemyGeek]

You have the patience of a saint. I'm suffering from support burnout myself. Aol users are the bane of my existence. I swear for the most part AOL user=IQ of a Tic Tac

[protege]

Tell 'em to look for the line of text that starts... yeah, you're right. C-Colon would probably make them look in the bathroom.

Well, considering his head is already, um, *up* his ass, the Colon wouldn't be that far away But still, WTF? I'm always amazed at people who buy the cheapest piece of crap they can...and then turn around and bitch when it doesn't do what they want. Uh, there's usually a *reason* it's so cheap!

[Giranan]

I love how this guy decided to give out one of those lawyer threats at the end. I bet that had the shop quivering on its foundation.

[HawaiianShirts]

And to HS... They still sell CRTs?!?!?! WTF? I mean, the 512 mb Ram is a little more understandable (except with Vista), but a CRT?!

How much did he spend on this package? $200? Geeze! And he gets mad at you for selling this crap, lol, he should be mad at himself for buying said crap!

Yes, we do still carry CRT monitors. Not many, and they go very, very rarely, but we do still sell them. And I do everything I can to get customers to upgrade to the LCD, which is usually pretty easy. I don't do it to get more revenue for the store; I do it so I don't have to climb our rickety staircase-ladder-thing and strain my back hauling it down for them.

The guy paid $300 and change for his package, with tax. Sadly, for a whole $30 more, he could have had an LCD monitor. And/or for $50 more, he could have had a P4 processor and a gig of RAM. So, again, either a clueless manager or slacker co-worker sold it, or the customer simply demanded the cheapest and would not listen to any suggestions or explanations.

I still haven't heard from the techs if he's come in for his drivers or not.

[nekoro]

HawaiianShirts, I had the exact same issue a couple of days ago. Guy had no idea what the address bar was.

After about twenty minutes I had progressed to describing the bar at the top of the window.

Half an hour later, I told him to contact the manufacturer to teach him how to use his computer.

No, we never found the address bar.

[Will-Mun]

From the sound of this guy, he demanded a cheap computer.


I HATE those people. "A-HURT! I gun git a compyuuter for 100 buckeroos!"

And when that fifty pound POS system that works off REELS still gets there, good for you.

People who do not understand computers annoy the crap outa me. Now, I don't mean people who don't know EVERYTHING about computers, like some of the more advanced stuff, but people who CANNOT use a computer. It's not that hard!

"How do I get on the internet?"

Click the icon for your browser...

"Okay how do I do that?"

See that icon there? The one that starts with INTERNET? CLICK it.

"Oh....Now what?"

I can understand tech gaps, but I cannot understand how someone, between 20-40, cannot AT ALL work a computer.

[Aressel]

Ooh! Ooh! I've had the address bar one a couple times, but my favourite absolutely clueless user story is when I was on the phone with the guy for probably about 10 minutes trying to figure out where the power button was on his computer. He never did figure it out.

Also, spent 20 minutes once trying to talk someone through moving the taskbar from the right hand side of the screen back down to the bottom.