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Everyone who reads this that works in the tech support field has seen the level of ignorance that customers can have when dealing with a problem with the magic box that sits on their desk. I thought I would share more of the insanity that specifically pertains to customers of the 'Evil Empire'.
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"My Microsoft is broken..."
This one just kills me. I understand that some companies might make only one product, and that by referring to the company name instantly tells you what you're dealing with, but...this isnt Intuit you're talking about. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: "Thank you for calling Microsoft, how may I help you?"
SC: "Yeah, I can't get my Microsoft to work."
Me: "Which product are you talking about, sir? Windows? Office?"
SC: "My Microsoft! I got it on my computer here and its telling me I cant get on th' Internet!"
Me: "..." (Because the next thing I have to find out is what VERSION of Windows they are using, and if we're having this much trouble just identifing the product...well, at least I brought my own lunch...and I have a NERF bat in my cube to beat things with in effigy)
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"They said you'd fix it!"
This is a big peeve. There are those few lowlife tech support folks that will take any cop out they can to get rid of a customer they don't want to deal with, so sooner or later they whip out the 'This is a Microsoft problem, you need to call them' line, even when it has nothing to do with Microsoft.
Me: "Thank you for calling Microsoft, how may I help you?"
SC: "I'm having trouble running a query on my Oracle 9 database."
Me: "....ah, sir, you realize you called Microsoft?"
SC: "Yeah, the Dell tech told me to call you. He said they don't troubleshoot servers."
Me: "Did the Dell technician give any reason why you should call Microsoft rather than the company that makes that product...namely, Oracle?"
SC: "Well, no...but don't you guys fix anyone's stuff that runs on Windows?"
Uh no, no, we don't. We have enough fun fixing our own stuff, I'm sure as hell not so bored that I'll start fixing someone else's code problems. What gets me are the hardware issues. I've posted before about someone calling me to get his PS3 controllers fixed. What?? Dude, MS is huge, but we have yet to eat Sony.
Yet.
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And my favorite:
"Bill Gates is so rich...."
"...(insert reason to be a cheapskate here)"
This gets whipped out when someone is asked to pay for something. I know others here have seen this behavior in other jobs, but I'm mentioning it here because of the 'Gates' factor.
People seem to get the idea into their head that because BillG has made so much money, this excuses them from doing things like paying for that anti-virus program so their machine doesn't get infected while online...or having to pay a technician to fix the machine they fubar'ed because they went online without an AV or firewall installed, or ignored the BIG WARNINGS for things like 'please disable your anti-virus program before installing this product'. He should just pay for all of their ignorance. Uh...the Henry Ford estate doesnt pay you money when you have an accident as a bad driver...do they?
Oy.
***************
"My Microsoft is broken..."
This one just kills me. I understand that some companies might make only one product, and that by referring to the company name instantly tells you what you're dealing with, but...this isnt Intuit you're talking about. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: "Thank you for calling Microsoft, how may I help you?"
SC: "Yeah, I can't get my Microsoft to work."
Me: "Which product are you talking about, sir? Windows? Office?"
SC: "My Microsoft! I got it on my computer here and its telling me I cant get on th' Internet!"
Me: "..." (Because the next thing I have to find out is what VERSION of Windows they are using, and if we're having this much trouble just identifing the product...well, at least I brought my own lunch...and I have a NERF bat in my cube to beat things with in effigy)
*********
"They said you'd fix it!"
This is a big peeve. There are those few lowlife tech support folks that will take any cop out they can to get rid of a customer they don't want to deal with, so sooner or later they whip out the 'This is a Microsoft problem, you need to call them' line, even when it has nothing to do with Microsoft.
Me: "Thank you for calling Microsoft, how may I help you?"
SC: "I'm having trouble running a query on my Oracle 9 database."
Me: "....ah, sir, you realize you called Microsoft?"
SC: "Yeah, the Dell tech told me to call you. He said they don't troubleshoot servers."
Me: "Did the Dell technician give any reason why you should call Microsoft rather than the company that makes that product...namely, Oracle?"
SC: "Well, no...but don't you guys fix anyone's stuff that runs on Windows?"
Uh no, no, we don't. We have enough fun fixing our own stuff, I'm sure as hell not so bored that I'll start fixing someone else's code problems. What gets me are the hardware issues. I've posted before about someone calling me to get his PS3 controllers fixed. What?? Dude, MS is huge, but we have yet to eat Sony.
Yet.
********
And my favorite:
"Bill Gates is so rich...."
"...(insert reason to be a cheapskate here)"
This gets whipped out when someone is asked to pay for something. I know others here have seen this behavior in other jobs, but I'm mentioning it here because of the 'Gates' factor.
People seem to get the idea into their head that because BillG has made so much money, this excuses them from doing things like paying for that anti-virus program so their machine doesn't get infected while online...or having to pay a technician to fix the machine they fubar'ed because they went online without an AV or firewall installed, or ignored the BIG WARNINGS for things like 'please disable your anti-virus program before installing this product'. He should just pay for all of their ignorance. Uh...the Henry Ford estate doesnt pay you money when you have an accident as a bad driver...do they?
Oy.
Wanna borrow my NERF bat?
I AM the evil bastard!
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