Most Ridiculous Reasons to Call Tech Support

[JustADude]

I just remembered this one from a long time ago:

Caller: I just got your cable internet service and it's really speeded up AOL.
Me: It'll do that.
Caller: What I want to know is if I can cancel your service and still have AOL run as fast.
Me: Um, no. What's happening is that you're using our fast service to access AOL instead of your slow dial-up connection.
Caller: I don't understand that. I'm paying AOL. I should be able to use your cable to access it without paying for your service, too.
Me: It doesn't quite work that way.

GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*gasp*-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

Ow, my poor, poor brain. The Stupid is strong in that one... possibly too strong for the forces of Smart to hope to defeat. How the bloody hell does someone not get the picture even after having it explained?

...

Oh, wait, he was on AOL. 'nuff said.

[CorDarei]

I just remembered this one from a long time ago:

Caller: I just got your cable internet service and it's really speeded up AOL.
Me: It'll do that.
Caller: What I want to know is if I can cancel your service and still have AOL run as fast.
Me: Um, no. What's happening is that you're using our fast service to access AOL instead of your slow dial-up connection.
Caller: I don't understand that. I'm paying AOL. I should be able to use your cable to access it without paying for your service, too.
Me: It doesn't quite work that way.

glad to see that aol customers are still stupid. Today i had a doozy.... How do I copy a file over?

[technical.angel]

Kinda close to the guy I had today. He's saving all his files on his home drive, which resides on our very very crowded and all of 3 mb left server.

Yet, somehow, with saving his files on the server, he still filled up his 16 gb computer.

Which, actually, that doesn't sound right. He should have a lot more than 16 gb......

Sigh, I'm going to have fun tomorrow trying to figure that one out.

[Zeeko]

We also get the usual idiots who buy a modem and straight away disregard the instruction book and just plug it in. They of course have never heard of configuring - and it's MY fault for selling them a modem not configured for their account...

We also get wankers who buy a Digital Set Top Box thinking it will fix our towns HORRIBLE TV reception.

SC: The box you sold me is rubbish, I get even less than before.
ME: Where in town are you?
SC: X Suburb (way outta town in a gully known for crap reception).
ME: Well there are problems getting reception out there, if you had told me where you lived and WHY you were buying the box I could have saved you the hassle and told you 2 options, 1 it won't work because you're in hippy-ville out in the forest, 2 you most likely need a Mast Head Amplifier.
SC: But set top boxes fix that don't they?
ME: (lots of technical talk regarding the fact that STBs pick up a DIFFERENT signal not improve the analog signal)
SC: I'm bringing it back its rubbish.
ME: If it is faulty we will return it, and we will test it in front of you instore to make sure.
SC: Fuck you very much.
ME: *click*

[CorDarei]

Holy frack, that's a moron.

The, *I* had someone call claiming I didn't install Word on their machine. So, I have to head over there today and put the shortcut on the desktop. Cause everyone knows, if it's not on the desktop, it doesn't exist.

i had someone ask that today...

install a buncha dev tools on this pc, and then office 2k3 pro, and then i ask her to remote desktop in and see what else she'll need on the pc...

her first item she said she needed...... outlook

[technical.angel]

CorDarei, don't you know? The only thing included in Office is Word! Everything else is separate, no matter what anyone else says!! Don't believe the lies!!!!!!

:: evil Jenni ::

[TNT]

I've got another one:

"I missed a movie on the Hallmark Channel that I really wanted to see. Can you replay it Monday night at 9pm when I'll be home?"

[technical.angel]

No way!!!!

And, bonus points, a Hallmark movie???????

[TNT]

No way!!!!

And, bonus points, a Hallmark movie???????

You have no idea how many people believe a cable CSR control what networks show. Whenever the President is on, the phones light up with people who want us to take him off and put regular programing put back on. That's one of those, "We can do that... give us an hour or so, and it'll be done."

[Geek King]

Whenever the President is on, the phones light up with people who want us to take him off and put regular programing put back on.

Yes, because if the networks are interuppting paying shows for the president (reguardless what you think of the person in office at the time), it couldn't possibly be about anything important. I think if they broke in to say that everyone who wrote in with a five digit code gets a million dollars, people would still be complaining they missed part of Dancing with the Stars.

[BravoOrig]

First of all, AOL users are a pain, AOL users actually dropping AOL and needing to learn how to use something like IE, double pain. YUCK!

Second, our self install kits for cable modem internet, is NEVER a self install. These people get told they can do it themselves and save money when they don't even know how to flush the toilet.

[technical.angel]

When I got my parents off AOHell and onto Charter, my mom wouldn't stop whining about losing her AOHell chat rooms.

[TNT]

First of all, AOL users are a pain, AOL users actually dropping AOL and needing to learn how to use something like IE, double pain. YUCK!

I used to love it when people asked "Where's your software like AOL has?" I'd show them our homepage... other than that, they were on their own in the wild and woolly internet. A lot people didn't know such a thing existed.

[BravoOrig]

People don't understand the difference between an Online Service such as AOL that also connects you to the Internet, and an ISP which is just the Internet. We're an ISP, you want the internet, there you go. Good or bad, it's there, you figure it out!

[Broomjockey]

I used to love it when people asked "Where's your software like AOL has?" I'd show them our homepage... other than that, they were on their own in the wild and woolly internet. A lot people didn't know such a thing existed.

I was the exact opposite. I was raised with the wild woolly internet, and when I finally heard about AOL and the keywords and all that I nearly broke my brain trying to figure out how the heck that worked, and what happened if you needed a page that didn't have a link with AOL.