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Okay, long time ago now, I did phone in tech support for a company which made modems, network cards, and laptops. Company has since gone defunct. The system was simple: Call in and (90% of the time) leave a message, as we were all always on the phone. We would call you back, usually within the hour, but sometimes 2 hours.
Our call tracking system used the customer's phone number as the main key to look up a customer. As such, the calls always started the same way.
One guy refused voicemail. Called up, demanded to speak to someone live. I was the only person in the department right then, so he was on hold until I completed the call. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi, this is Pedersen, may I get your phone number please?
SC: No.
Me: This is strictly for internal usage with our call tracking system.
SC: No, this is a secured line. I can't give that information out.
Me: *WTF? Right, secure. Whatever, enters 908-555-1212 for phone* Okay, and what seems to be the issue today?
SC: I bought one of your modems, and it doesn't work.
Me: Which one?
SC: I don't know.
Me: *Great. This is a laugh a minute* Do you have the manual for it?
SC: No, it didn't come with one.
Me: *Lovely* Can you tell me the features of the modem?
SC: No, I have no idea.
Me: *Guy, I need just one single clue, just one, so we can start supporting your modem* Do you know the speed of the modem?
SC: It's 14.4.
Me: *Yay! Only two modems that could be!* Okay, do you know if this is also a voice modem?
SC: Yeah, it is.
Me: *Sweet! All done. Must be XVM144I* Okay, we'll go with the most common configuration for this modem. I need you to set the jumpers this way.
SC: I don't have those jumpers.
Me: *WTF? It's voice, it's 14.4, this is the only modem it could be! Unless you're wrong about it being voice?* Okay, let's set it as if it's the other possibility, the XM144I.
SC: I don't have those jumpers either.
Me: *WTFWTF? Totally borked* Please hold for a minute.
At this point, I went to the warehouse, and found a repair tech, who told me about a new version of the XVM144I that no one in tech support had been told about, and gave me a manual for it. Went back to SC.
Me: Set jumpers this way then?
SC: Okay, set that way.
Me: Test the modem. *he does, and it works* Thankyouhaveanicedaybyebyenow *click*
The above doesn't really do it justice. Just getting to the point of my first guess about it being an XVM144I took a good 10 minutes. Heck, it took 5 before I gave up and used the 908-555-1212 number. It seemed like this guy was determined not to give me any information.
Very frustrating call. But gives me a fun story to tell years later (and I still do, though it comes across better in person, I think).
Our call tracking system used the customer's phone number as the main key to look up a customer. As such, the calls always started the same way.
One guy refused voicemail. Called up, demanded to speak to someone live. I was the only person in the department right then, so he was on hold until I completed the call. The conversation went like this:
Me: Hi, this is Pedersen, may I get your phone number please?
SC: No.
Me: This is strictly for internal usage with our call tracking system.
SC: No, this is a secured line. I can't give that information out.
Me: *WTF? Right, secure. Whatever, enters 908-555-1212 for phone* Okay, and what seems to be the issue today?
SC: I bought one of your modems, and it doesn't work.
Me: Which one?
SC: I don't know.
Me: *Great. This is a laugh a minute* Do you have the manual for it?
SC: No, it didn't come with one.
Me: *Lovely* Can you tell me the features of the modem?
SC: No, I have no idea.
Me: *Guy, I need just one single clue, just one, so we can start supporting your modem* Do you know the speed of the modem?
SC: It's 14.4.
Me: *Yay! Only two modems that could be!* Okay, do you know if this is also a voice modem?
SC: Yeah, it is.
Me: *Sweet! All done. Must be XVM144I* Okay, we'll go with the most common configuration for this modem. I need you to set the jumpers this way.
SC: I don't have those jumpers.
Me: *WTF? It's voice, it's 14.4, this is the only modem it could be! Unless you're wrong about it being voice?* Okay, let's set it as if it's the other possibility, the XM144I.
SC: I don't have those jumpers either.
Me: *WTFWTF? Totally borked* Please hold for a minute.
At this point, I went to the warehouse, and found a repair tech, who told me about a new version of the XVM144I that no one in tech support had been told about, and gave me a manual for it. Went back to SC.
Me: Set jumpers this way then?
SC: Okay, set that way.
Me: Test the modem. *he does, and it works* Thankyouhaveanicedaybyebyenow *click*
The above doesn't really do it justice. Just getting to the point of my first guess about it being an XVM144I took a good 10 minutes. Heck, it took 5 before I gave up and used the 908-555-1212 number. It seemed like this guy was determined not to give me any information.
Very frustrating call. But gives me a fun story to tell years later (and I still do, though it comes across better in person, I think).
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