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I'm sure everyone else has had this happen, too. Every so often, a customer will respond with something not just unexpected, but makes so little sense (or in some cases, so much sense), that you want to cry, or, in my case, cause my jaw to drop and slump down into my chair slowly like I just got shot in the face. Here are a couple of examples...
#1
Me: "Okay, ma'am, now how are you connected to the Internet right now? Are you wireless, directly connected...?"
Cust: "Oh, no, I'm using a mouse."
I expected her to maybe say "with the Internet," "your modem," "a cable," or something like that...but...WHAT?!
#2
Me: "What version of Windows are you running?"
Cust: "Uh, Dell."
Me: "Yes, that's the computer type, but what version of Windows? XP, Vista...?"
Cust: "Uh...um...I don't know."
This is less severe, sure. I still find it humorous strictly based on why would you NOT know what your version of Windows is? Doesn't it say it every time it starts? Or are you too busy affixing your 64 oz. mug of Brawndo onto your "cupholder" to pay attention? Sigh.
#3
Me: "Right, now I want you to type in ipconfig..."
Cust: "The last agent had me do this."
Me: (Understanding this, but having an earnest distrust for tier 2 anymore) "I know, but since we changed a few things, I want to see if it changed."
Cust: "Okay, how do you spell it?"
YOU MEAN THAT THING YOU REMEMBER DOING BUT DON'T? WHAT.
Me: "I...P...and then config, like configuration."
Cust: (Assuming it isn't done wrong a number of times first) "Okay, there's blah blah blah blah..." (Basically reads me EVERYTHING even though I already told her what I want, but somehow ends up MISSING exactly what I want).
Me: "Rrrrright, but what was the IP address?"
Cust: "Okay, it's 00-01-AE-"
Me: "No, no, ma'am, not your MAC address...your IP address."
Cust: "Well, I don't see it."
For anyone that doesn't know, this means either she's an idiot or she's right. How could she be right? As I've found out, sometimes it may just say...
Cust: "Okay, here it is: IP address...media disconnected."
Most of the time this goes off without a hitch, but I find it amusing if a customer says they did something with the previous person as though it matters, but d@mn'd if they can remember how! Plus, I really hate it when someone goes off on a tangent and tells me EVERY LITTLE THING on the screen. For example...
#4
Me: "Okay, ma'am, I want you to click on your start button." (You'll note I keep using ma'am and no, it's not because women are morons, but most of the situations I remember and actually handle well involve women)
Cust: "Okay, we've got programs, my computer, documents..."
Me: "Right right, now click on run."
Cust: "Where's that?"
Me: "...Typically toward the bottom."
An aside...sometimes the customer ACTUALLY HAS TO READ EVERY LITTLE THING OUT LOUD at which point he'll/she'll go "Oh! There it is!" Yeah...there it is, hooked on phonics...there it is.
Cust: "Okay, it says type the name of a program, folder, document or-"
Me: "Yes. Now, please type in CMD as in Charlie Michael David."
Yes, sometimes they'll ask, even after you use proper phonetics, how you spell that.
Cust: "Okay, now what?"
Me: "Hit enter."
Cust: "I ain't got enter. I've got OK."
Me: "...Click OK."
Cust: "Now a big black box popped up."
Me: "Right, now I want you to type-"
Cust: "It says Microsoft Windows blah blah..."
Me: "I know, I know...please type-"
Cust: "C documents and settings..."
UR BRAIN ASPLODE. Sometimes these are the suckiest kinds of customers because they fill you so full of redundant data that you just want to mangle something. It's way too easy to get off track with these customers, BUT it is VERY easy to get them off your line. Typically these customers are not very technical and what MIGHT be a solution BECOMES a solution in the correct scenario.
I hate doing it, but if I feel the call is going nowhere, well, it's time for a modem swap! Ironically, I'm not in the wrong here. It's something we typically have to recommend anyway, given a particular scenario, but most of the time, we are to perform as much support as possible to PROVE it's the modem first.
I look forward to seeing if anyone has any further examples.
#1
Me: "Okay, ma'am, now how are you connected to the Internet right now? Are you wireless, directly connected...?"
Cust: "Oh, no, I'm using a mouse."
I expected her to maybe say "with the Internet," "your modem," "a cable," or something like that...but...WHAT?!
#2
Me: "What version of Windows are you running?"
Cust: "Uh, Dell."
Me: "Yes, that's the computer type, but what version of Windows? XP, Vista...?"
Cust: "Uh...um...I don't know."
This is less severe, sure. I still find it humorous strictly based on why would you NOT know what your version of Windows is? Doesn't it say it every time it starts? Or are you too busy affixing your 64 oz. mug of Brawndo onto your "cupholder" to pay attention? Sigh.
#3
Me: "Right, now I want you to type in ipconfig..."
Cust: "The last agent had me do this."
Me: (Understanding this, but having an earnest distrust for tier 2 anymore) "I know, but since we changed a few things, I want to see if it changed."
Cust: "Okay, how do you spell it?"
YOU MEAN THAT THING YOU REMEMBER DOING BUT DON'T? WHAT.
Me: "I...P...and then config, like configuration."
Cust: (Assuming it isn't done wrong a number of times first) "Okay, there's blah blah blah blah..." (Basically reads me EVERYTHING even though I already told her what I want, but somehow ends up MISSING exactly what I want).
Me: "Rrrrright, but what was the IP address?"
Cust: "Okay, it's 00-01-AE-"
Me: "No, no, ma'am, not your MAC address...your IP address."
Cust: "Well, I don't see it."
For anyone that doesn't know, this means either she's an idiot or she's right. How could she be right? As I've found out, sometimes it may just say...
Cust: "Okay, here it is: IP address...media disconnected."
Most of the time this goes off without a hitch, but I find it amusing if a customer says they did something with the previous person as though it matters, but d@mn'd if they can remember how! Plus, I really hate it when someone goes off on a tangent and tells me EVERY LITTLE THING on the screen. For example...
#4
Me: "Okay, ma'am, I want you to click on your start button." (You'll note I keep using ma'am and no, it's not because women are morons, but most of the situations I remember and actually handle well involve women)
Cust: "Okay, we've got programs, my computer, documents..."
Me: "Right right, now click on run."
Cust: "Where's that?"
Me: "...Typically toward the bottom."
An aside...sometimes the customer ACTUALLY HAS TO READ EVERY LITTLE THING OUT LOUD at which point he'll/she'll go "Oh! There it is!" Yeah...there it is, hooked on phonics...there it is.
Cust: "Okay, it says type the name of a program, folder, document or-"
Me: "Yes. Now, please type in CMD as in Charlie Michael David."
Yes, sometimes they'll ask, even after you use proper phonetics, how you spell that.
Cust: "Okay, now what?"
Me: "Hit enter."
Cust: "I ain't got enter. I've got OK."
Me: "...Click OK."
Cust: "Now a big black box popped up."
Me: "Right, now I want you to type-"
Cust: "It says Microsoft Windows blah blah..."
Me: "I know, I know...please type-"
Cust: "C documents and settings..."
UR BRAIN ASPLODE. Sometimes these are the suckiest kinds of customers because they fill you so full of redundant data that you just want to mangle something. It's way too easy to get off track with these customers, BUT it is VERY easy to get them off your line. Typically these customers are not very technical and what MIGHT be a solution BECOMES a solution in the correct scenario.
I hate doing it, but if I feel the call is going nowhere, well, it's time for a modem swap! Ironically, I'm not in the wrong here. It's something we typically have to recommend anyway, given a particular scenario, but most of the time, we are to perform as much support as possible to PROVE it's the modem first.
I look forward to seeing if anyone has any further examples.
Just what you want for sensitive fiscal information! And it came in on a totally bogus email (like lolkids@spam4U or something).
We're not exactly sure how she did it, but we do know that our email server got compromised. Yep, it had been hit. At least I was nice enough to look up the file properties for her and forwarded it onto our IT dept before things got messy...
But still, she hasn't lived that one down 
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