Tech Support #7

[Blade_Raver]

For this call I served as tech support for a cable internet company in NJ.

Me: Blade_Raver
SC: Sucky Customer

Me: Thanks for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?
SC: I haven't been able to access the internet for two weeks. I called you guys 5 times and you never fixed my problem. Your service sucks and I'm going to cancel subscription and get service thru xxxx instead.
Me: Oh? You don't want me to help you troubleshoot your problem?
SC: Fine, if you think you can do it. I'm telling you that you'll fail.
Me: Can I get your name please?
SC: (We'll use a fictitious name) Lyon.
Me: Okay, Lyon, and what is your last name?
SC: My last name is Lyon.
Me: Okay, and what is your first name?
SC: (tells me her first name)
Me: Alrighty, Mrs Lyon. Please go to the cable modem.
SC: Okay, now what?
Me: Which lights are on?
SC: Three lights are on.
Me: Which three lights are on?
SC: I don't know.
Me: Are they labeled? Do they happen to be PC? Power? Cable?
SC: Yeah, whatever.
Me: Okay. Unplug the power cable from the back of the modem box please.
SC: Okay.
Me: All lights are off, right?
SC: Yeah.
Me: Okay. Turn the computer off.
SC: (1-2 mins later) Okay, it's off.
Me: Plug power cable back into the modem. Let me know what the Cable light turns on.
SC: (2-3 mins later) Okay. It's on.
Me: Turn on your computer, attempt to access a web page.
SC: (2-3 mins later) Okay. It works.
Me: Alrighty.
SC: So what was it? Did you guys shut me off or something? Did you infect my computer with a virus?
Me: No, the cable modem's lease on the network expired. (95% of these issues resolved with powercycle)
SC: Whatever that means.
Me: Is there anything else I can assist with?
SC: No. (click)

Another broken customer -- fixed.

That's all the stories I have for now.. If I remember more, I'll be sure to post more.. until then I'll keep reading your stories!

Blade_Raver

[iradney]

Wow
she's a cheerful one...

[trunks2k]

So she supposedly called five times before and nobody had told her to do the first thing that I would always do to try and fix cable/dsl internet issues? As soon as anyone would tell me they were getting no connectivity at all, I'd have them cycle the power on the modem and the computer. 99% of the time, that fixed the issue.

[technical.angel]

Nah, that could mean that she called once, and hung up before she got through the menus. Remember, never trust ANYTHING the client says!

[Geek King]

Nah, that could mean that she called once, and hung up before she got through the menus. Remember, never trust ANYTHING the client says!

Well, unless they say:

1) "I don't know what I'm doing."
2) "I think something's not working right."

[SengaKitty]

That reminds me of a call I got when I, too, was supporting cable internet, but I was at a call center in KY, this guy was actually really nice about the whole thing though:
M-Me
MG-Military guy

M-Thank you for calling ****** How can I help you?
MG-Yeah I haven't been able to get online for about 2 weeks now.
M-Alright, I'd be happy to help you. What lights are on on your cable modem?
MG- There's only one light on.
M- Which light sir?
MG- It says Standby
(M- Head-desk)
M- Sir do you see the button on top of the modem?
MG- Yeah
M- Press that button for about 3 seconds or until the lights turn on
MG- OK they're on.
M- Now try to go to www.red.com
MG- I'm on!
M- Sir, that was the standby button... How long has that light been on?
MG- About 2 weeks...
M- (explains what stand by is)
MG- (pause) Ma'am I'm sorry to have wasted your time. I feel rather dumb now



It was great He was really sweet and polite the whole time.

[JustADude]

It was great He was really sweet and polite the whole time.

Military types tend to be either total assholes or complete gentlemen, with far more of the latter. I guess the increased discipline starting from Basic amplifies the inherent nature (Nasty or nice) of the soldiers, and the Nasty ones tend not to make it through Basic. That, and they're taught from square one ("This is your rifle...") to listen to the people who are in a position of expertise, not to mention follow instructions, which means they're not going to argue with you that you don't know what you're doing.

[FrancoTek]

typical

Me: Thanks for calling Tech Support, how can I help you?
SC: I haven't been able to access the internet for two weeks. I called you guys 5 times and you never fixed my problem. Your service sucks and I'm going to cancel subscription and get service thru xxxx instead.

Sounds like one of my customers.
Its always off for days and they always call a dozen times and no one can fix the problem. What a load of crap, most likely its the first time they called. If its so important that you will switch providers why didn't you phone us the day it stopped working. Why didn't you keep on it until it was fixed, instead of waiting a whole two weeks to phone back and feak out on the first person you talk to.

[BravoOrig]

We always get the biggest complaints and have the biggest fights about credit from customers who never call in about their issue. We don't credit when we don't get the chance to fix something. Asking for credit since you started service a year ago just isn't going to happen. If it doesn't work, then why are you still a customer?

[gunsage]

Well, unless they say:

1) "I don't know what I'm doing."
2) "I think something's not working right."

You forgot one...

3) "Wow, that was a really stupid question, huh?"

What, you didn't figure it out before you said it? Gotta love customers who don't even process what they're saying.

[Naaman]

Military types tend to be either total assholes or complete gentlemen, with far more of the latter. I guess the increased discipline starting from Basic amplifies the inherent nature (Nasty or nice) of the soldiers, and the Nasty ones tend not to make it through Basic. That, and they're taught from square one ("This is your rifle...") to listen to the people who are in a position of expertise, not to mention follow instructions, which means they're not going to argue with you that you don't know what you're doing.

I would say there's another type of military customer, the "I'm fighting for you therefore blah, blah, blah SC...."

I fully respected the fact that you were doing a dangerous, patriotic job but having known a few squaddies in my time I'm not ever going to say you were a pure altruist. We got most of them who were sold computers with on-site warranties trying to get an engineer to Germany...

[BravoOrig]

Cops hear the same argument all the time. "I pay your salary!" Well you are paying them to do exactly what they are doing, enforcing the law and writing citations or making arrests for any violators of those laws. You're getting your moneys worth!

[JustADude]

I would say there's another type of military customer, the "I'm fighting for you therefore blah, blah, blah SC...."

Actually, that falls under the "Total Asshole" category.