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This is a conversation I had yesterday that I just have to share. For background, this woman was wandering through the laptop aisles, looking at the spec tags, and repeating: "Sh** sh** sh** sh**." For a moment, I was concerned that she had a problem and was really worried, but I realized that she was referring to the computers as "sh**." So I asked if I could help.
Her: Do you have ANY laptops without SH** on them?
Me: Wha--
Her: (cutting me off) I HATE Microsoft and their stupid F*****G Vista. It's sh**.
Me: If you're looking for a laptop with XP, I don't have any in the store, but I have several that I can special-order for you.
That was good. She was interested and became more pleasant. Not that she was being mean or anything, she was just mad at Vista and complaining about it. So I took her over to one of the employee terminals and showed her the selection of XP laptops on the website of a branch of our company. We narrowed it down to a few specific models she liked; then she started babbling about how she needed a new computer but didn't want Vista.
Her: Vista's just a load of sh**. I'd much rather have XP. Of course, XP is a load of sh**, too, but it's not as sh***y as Vista.
This was a signal to me that she was not really interested in buying right then. Perhaps she would later, or perhaps she just wanted to complain. I decided to excuse myself and go help other customers. If she was still there in about five minutes, I'd try again to make a sale.
Me: Well, you're welcome to browse around the site on this computer, if you like. I'm going to go help those folks--they look lost. Flag me down if you have other questions or if you'd like to place an order, okay?
Her: You want to let ME use YOUR computer?
- Me thinking: MY computer? No! You smell of dirty dogs and stale cigarettes. This is the store's computer, though, and I couldn't care less about it.
Me: Sure. Go right ahead.
Her: No, I'm not going to touch your computer.
Me: ...
Her: I'll mess it up.
Me: I don't thi--
Her: I write viruses.
Me: Oh, really?
Her: Yeah. Well, I used to. I don't anymore. But I still know how.
Me: ... I see...
Her: No, I won't use your computer. I'd f*** it up.
- Me thinking: What? Is virus-writing a compulsion for you?
Her: I could hack this site if I wanted. I could even go in and change the prices to whatever I felt like paying.
Me: On such a limited terminal as this, that would take some skill.
Her: Nah. It's easy. I once hacked the Pentagon. Back in 1986. With a Commodore 64. I had to change some information on my dad's records. They think he was deported, but he's really still here.
At that point, her husband showed up and tried to get her to go look at games and software with him. She said something more about being a programmer, about hacking Tiger Direct's website and getting a terabyte hard drive for $80, and about not wanting to use my computer for fear of destroying the entire company's network and sending us into bankruptcy in a matter of hours. I just nodded and bid her farewell when she finally turned to follow the husband.
She didn't act crazy. She didn't really sound crazy. It seems she just enjoys bragging about her programming abilities and whining about Microsoft products. I would be surprised if she wasn't making all that stuff up, or at least severely exaggerating it.
Anybody else get customers making claims like this one? Stuff like having the mad hacker skillz to alter government records with a C64?
Her: Do you have ANY laptops without SH** on them?
Me: Wha--
Her: (cutting me off) I HATE Microsoft and their stupid F*****G Vista. It's sh**.
Me: If you're looking for a laptop with XP, I don't have any in the store, but I have several that I can special-order for you.
That was good. She was interested and became more pleasant. Not that she was being mean or anything, she was just mad at Vista and complaining about it. So I took her over to one of the employee terminals and showed her the selection of XP laptops on the website of a branch of our company. We narrowed it down to a few specific models she liked; then she started babbling about how she needed a new computer but didn't want Vista.
Her: Vista's just a load of sh**. I'd much rather have XP. Of course, XP is a load of sh**, too, but it's not as sh***y as Vista.
This was a signal to me that she was not really interested in buying right then. Perhaps she would later, or perhaps she just wanted to complain. I decided to excuse myself and go help other customers. If she was still there in about five minutes, I'd try again to make a sale.
Me: Well, you're welcome to browse around the site on this computer, if you like. I'm going to go help those folks--they look lost. Flag me down if you have other questions or if you'd like to place an order, okay?
Her: You want to let ME use YOUR computer?
- Me thinking: MY computer? No! You smell of dirty dogs and stale cigarettes. This is the store's computer, though, and I couldn't care less about it.
Me: Sure. Go right ahead.
Her: No, I'm not going to touch your computer.
Me: ...
Her: I'll mess it up.
Me: I don't thi--
Her: I write viruses.
Me: Oh, really?
Her: Yeah. Well, I used to. I don't anymore. But I still know how.
Me: ... I see...
Her: No, I won't use your computer. I'd f*** it up.
- Me thinking: What? Is virus-writing a compulsion for you?
Her: I could hack this site if I wanted. I could even go in and change the prices to whatever I felt like paying.
Me: On such a limited terminal as this, that would take some skill.
Her: Nah. It's easy. I once hacked the Pentagon. Back in 1986. With a Commodore 64. I had to change some information on my dad's records. They think he was deported, but he's really still here.
At that point, her husband showed up and tried to get her to go look at games and software with him. She said something more about being a programmer, about hacking Tiger Direct's website and getting a terabyte hard drive for $80, and about not wanting to use my computer for fear of destroying the entire company's network and sending us into bankruptcy in a matter of hours. I just nodded and bid her farewell when she finally turned to follow the husband.
She didn't act crazy. She didn't really sound crazy. It seems she just enjoys bragging about her programming abilities and whining about Microsoft products. I would be surprised if she wasn't making all that stuff up, or at least severely exaggerating it.
Anybody else get customers making claims like this one? Stuff like having the mad hacker skillz to alter government records with a C64?
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