Never ask for tech support on a cell phone while ON your cell phone.

[Deceptitech]

Well, the brains of the universe are calling, and I am there to answer.

D: Deceptitech, your humble evil tech support bastard
TH: Tech Head caller.

D: Thank you for calling pda.com, my name is Deceptitech, how may I help you?

TH: I would like to use MP3s as ringtones, but I don't wanna pay for it. How can I do it?

D: You need to load the music on a micro SD card.

TH: Where is that?

D: Take the battery cover off and you can open the door for the card slot(it's easier than trying to press your fingernail in that little area.)

D: Oh, there it i--------.... call drops

Here's your sign.

[PCGameGuy]

OMG tell me about it!

It's like asking a mechanic to check the engine as you drive around, but they just don't see it. And do they have an alternate contact number? Of course not! Do they have time to answer questions? No! Fix it now!

My favorite complaints:

'I dont know when it happened'
'I just remembered it after hearing the person in front of me in line say something to someone else, and I am pissier now than I was then'
'It doesn't work anywhere'
'I tried to call once from a hole in the earth and it failed. Once again, I have waited until I overheard someone else complaining before deciding to bring it up'
'Every call'
'The last call I made, which I tried once and then called you'
'I never have service'
'I work/live in the most obscure place on the planet, and only then do I have free time to make calls' or 'I want to leave because <other provider> has shown me a shiny bauble, but feel I need an excuse to try and justify my outrage at the cancellation fee'

Do these sound at all familiar?