Your network is broken!

[Gerrinson]

Had a guest call the front desk and complain that there was a problem with our WiFi network. It happens from time to time, and the IT manager was out for the day, so desk called me.

Having dealt with this before, I asked if the guest was having trouble connecting to the network (the desk has an instruction sheet for guests that they never hand out) or if she connected and the internet wasn't working. They ask the guest who replies that she found our network and she can get online, but when she tries to open her email she gets a an error that's caused by our network.

I chuckle and say nope, not our network it has to be her email. The desk staff told her that, but she finally whined enough at them for me to go downstairs and tell her myself. By the time I got there, her email website was working and she had left.

And the desk staff asked me if I had fixed the network to keep that from happening again.

Some days I think it would be easier to ignore people and just have a nice conversation with the brick wall...

[IT Grunt]

And the desk staff asked me if I had fixed the network to keep that from happening again.

If I had a dollar for every time I'd heard that one, I could buy a south Pacific island and retire. Bugs the hell out of me every time, too, and I just want to smack the users when I hear it. Then I want to ask them the following questions: Can you fix a car so that it'll never break down? Can you build a house so that it'll never need maintenance? Can you build roads so you never need to patch them? No? The how in the hell can you expect computer equipment to be different? It's times like that when I feel liberal application of the ClueBat is in order.

[Geek King]

Get used to that. Non-IT coworkers tend to think any IT guy can fix any IT issue on any network, and damn the permissions.

[Gerrinson]

Well, the network is still fine (shocking, eh?), but when I came in today our internet was down at the ISP's end. Nothing I can do but send out a notice.

And thus comes the joyful miriad of questions:

Why can't I get outside emails? (4 times, from people who sit next to each other)
If the internet is down does that mean I can't connect to the network printer? (8 times)
I just tried to send an email to *not our employee* at *not our company* but they didn't get it, do I need the internet for that? (7 times)

These questions occured over the space of one hour, after we had sent an internal email addressing the outside email question. Guess that'll teach us to be proactive.

Excuse me while I

[protege]

Reminds me of the time I got reamed out by the boss because the server had frozen up. Not much I could do but restart it. That wasn't the problem--trying to tell him that the reason his *internet* connection had dropped was. Uh, what does that have to do with it? All of our terminals are connected directly to the 'net through a router--the server's connection has nothing to do with that! No matter what I said, he insisted I was wrong. He even called up our 3rd party support, who told him the *exact* same thing

[Dreamstalker]

My old boss was having problems with his payroll software once (read: his version was so old it was out of the active support cycle by a few years). He was convinced it was problems talking to $company servers. Nope. I tried to diplomatically tell him that his version was too old and offered to handle the call to tech support.

Can't have that, as I didn't understand the situation (um, I diagnosed it after a ten-word summary!).

I wound up unable to do any work at all that day because he was using the upstairs register to remote into the server (why?). He abuses the CSR on the phone--who tells him the exact same thing I had--and winds up having to pay a hefty ID10T/rush tax for a new copy. Then yells at me because I wouldn't engage in software piracy/cracking to get his copy to work (you offering to take responsibility? didn't think so).

[technical.angel]

These questions occured over the space of one hour, after we had sent an internal email addressing the outside email question. Guess that'll teach us to be proactive.

Excuse me while I

Gerrinson!!! Don't tell me you actually expect people to READ those emails!

I feel your pain. I've gotten them all.

I've also got the people who see 2.5 reams of gibberish shooting out of their printers then turn around and put in new paper!

My favorite.. last month our spam filter crashed over the weekend (we've been going to hell lately... It's really bad) and our dept head sent out an email saying that it was down, that you'll be getting spam again, and we're doing our best to get it back up.

One of my first calls that Monday.. "Did something happen to the spam filter? I got a lot of spam again..."

[Gerrinson]

Gerrinson!!! Don't tell me you actually expect people to READ those emails!

Yeah, I'm stupid. I just figured that things would have changed in the decade since I last worked tech support. Apparently, they have not...

I've also got the people who see 2.5 reams of gibberish shooting out of their printers then turn around and put in new paper!

So, you've met our Marketing department?

[Bliss]

Not to mention the people who use "is the server down?" to ask wether

JFK Was Shot
They can't send emails
They can't connect via dialup
Their monitor is degaussing
JFK was shot.
The IRS is knocking on their door and the doorbell doesn't works.
Tv is snowy
JFK Was Shot....

Everything explained with "Is the server down?"