Realms of the most basic steps not taken

[draggar]

I don't know what it is but I've had an abundance of tickets (and attitudes over how I don't know how to do my job) from users who could have easily solved their issues. I'm not talking basic as in a driver instal, no I mean more basic than that.

Like the "malfunctioning" device not being turned on or plugged in.


I'm sure we saw them a few weeks ago but I had another one yesterday. I was in a store doing some maintenance on some computers and the high-horse power-tripping ast manager (like most of them are) tells me that I didn't fix their issue last time I was there.

Now, time travel back a week or so when I told them that all I could do for this application is reinstall it from our installation site. If the issue persisted, then they would have to contact the help desk so the team that supports that application can look into it.

Back to yesterday, power-tripper tells me that I didn't fix the issue. So I tell him what I told them last week and he says "Well, the issue with the cash drawer was fixed (the issue that they were having) but now it isn't printing (so it isn't the same issue?). At least this is something I can look into.

So, I pull up the printers in the control panel and I see that it is offline. I look at the printer and see that it is on, so I check the connections...

Someone had unplugged it from the USB port.

Why do people love to do this?

[Yfandes]

I'm so spoiled. I have a basic rule that if I have to fix someones problem for something stupid, like:
* The instructions are in the help menu and they didnt look it up before calling me
* They downloaded a random attachment and got a trojan or worse
* I've told them eleventy times how to do this and even sent detailed instructions and they didnt read them AGAIN
* the hardware isnt connected (as in your case) or even powered

I am allowed to mock them publicly and mercilessly, and sometimes even give an NCIS-style headslap. See, we dont have an IT or computer person - its not my job! I'm alllowed to bitch!

We just got a new director, and I was fixing his computer (XP SP3 weirdness, not his fault). The old director came in, noticed that I was working on the new director's computer and said "I always feel guilty after I call Seawolfe to look at my computer" (see list above). SCORE!!

So "why do people do this?" is answered - Because they have not been mocked enough for their stupidity!!!

[Hyndis]

First two questions in tech support:

1) Is it plugged in?
2) Is it turned on?


Sadly, those two questions actually resolve most of the issues.

[MMATM]

First two answers given to tech support:

1) Of course it is, I'm not stupid! (It isn't.)
2) I think so. I pushed the button but it isn't working. (See answer 1 or, if you believe them, ask question 2a: "Which button did you press?".)

[earl colby pottinger]

And please

Stop wasting my time telling about how smart you are because of all the teaching/science degrees you have got when the moment I walk into the room I can see the table on the far side of said room.

And there are four devices on the table but only three power cords coming down to plug into the wall socket below.

[Geek King]

First two questions in tech support:

1) Is it plugged in?
2) Is it turned on?

Sadly, I need to insert, "How is it broken/What is it not doing?" in the front of those. I get a lot of users on the phone who open with, "Geeeeeek Kiiiiing, my compuuuter's broooookeeeen."

Of course, sometimes I get snarky and my first reply becomes, "Of course it is. No one every calls IT just to say hi."

[otakuneko]

I think I told a caller something along those lines once or twice.

An oldie but goodie:
"Is it plugged in?"
"It doesn't hafta be! It's WIRELESS!"

[draggar]

One thing I used to love when I did phone support.

"Is the modem plugged into the phone line in the wall?"

"Let me check" *click*

[Chanlin]

My dad is the Systems Operator for the Elementary school where he teaches PE and this has nothing to do with the fact that he has computer certifications. It has everything to do with the fact that he knows where the cords plug in and when he doesn't know what hes doing he knows enough to stop and call the district IT manager.

There is one teacher he complains about constantly because she is always complaining about things not working, for example a printer, and when he gets down there to see whats up the power cord will be unplugged and sitting on top of the printer or the cord connecting the printer to the computer is completely non-existent. He says what pisses him off even more though is the fact that he can see both of these things from the entrance to her class room.

[PepperElf]

ah... i dont suppose the children are in the classroom when this happens?
cos that's when you say out loud, "You DO realize the printer isn't plugged in to the wall, yes?"

[El Pollo Guerrera]

I stopped my boss from being one of these SC's yesterday. He was on the phone with the copier service guy because paper was getting stuck in the fuser... it did it 3 times in a row.

But he didn't look at the fuser itself before calling, because there was a piece of paper 11" wide (that is, almost the entire width of the fuser) by 2" hanging out of the end of the paper path.

I walked up to the machine, carefully pulled out the paper, handed it to him and walked away.

I heard him saying on the phone "Oh... I think that we have it fixed now..."

Really, he was willing to get a service tech to drive 70+ kilometres (about 45 miles) to pull out a piece of paper that he was too busy to walk 3 feet to see...

[Skeksin]

I get a lot of users on the phone who open with, "Geeeeeek Kiiiiing, my compuuuter's broooookeeeen."

Luser Zombies!?! Where's my machete??

[Geek King]

Luser Zombies!?! Where's my machete??

That would be very entertaining.

But in the interests of honesty, they're actually talking in a sickly-sweet sing-song voice. Almost like they were rejected from Barney and friends.

[Chanlin]

ah... i dont suppose the children are in the classroom when this happens?

Actually my dad says sometimes he will be told something along the lines of "Well I had billy check it and hes good with computers..." Mind you this is a Kindergarten through 5th grade teacher that might be saying this. Not saying that someone that young might not be able to figure it out, but seriously. He likes to give out bonus points for those teachers who after he plugs it in think he is a genius.

[Bootlegger]

Of course, sometimes I get snarky and my first reply becomes, "Of course it is. No one every calls IT just to say hi."

I would make a point to call you every day just to say hi