My Emails are slow!!!!!!!!eleventy!!!

[Qaeria]

Customer called yesterday telling me he CAN'T send out any email. so of course there is the quick stuff I can check such as mail settings, any strange happenings on our server, delays due to antivirus software. However, after that, it then becomes an involved game of telephone tag as I provide a possible cause and solution the customer can try. Without having the system in front of me, I can't just magically pull a "fix" out of me arse. So I check the Tech support email, and I got this gem:

Comments: I phoned yesterday, complaining that I could not send out messages using the latest version of Thunderbird. Incoming mail was fine. I've studied this problem a little more closely and find I CAN send messages, but they are VERY SLOW, generally taking about 30 seconds to go out. A quick Internet search indicates I'm not the only client who has this problem, but I didn't come across any viable fixes. I use AVG as my antivirus application, but it doesn't seem to have any connection with the issue. Would sure appreciate any suggestions you might have. 30 seconds to send out a three word email! Ridiculous.

I sent him a reply that basically indicated that what he's experiencing is completely normal. Hell I am on a gigabit connection direct with the mail server, and it takes an average of 25 seconds to send a message the same as him. So as far as I can see, there is no problem.

So now you know why my signature has the crack about "Instant Gratification" It amazes me how people will exagerate their problem, only to realize in the end that they wasted more of my and their time than is needed.

[Naaman]

So now you know why my signature has the crack about "Instant Gratification" It amazes me how people will exagerate their problem, only to realize in the end that they wasted more of my and their time than is needed.

Pfffft - try a customer who wanted a full refund on his system because, and I quote, "Hearts on windows CHEATS!!!"

[Broomjockey]

It DOES! It cheats. Grr. Stupid thing.

[otakuneko]

Disable email scanning.

[Chanlin]

So now you know why my signature has the crack about "Instant Gratification"

Yeah but even that gratification isn't instant..... and I think I'll stop there...

[Can I Help Your A$$?]

I wonder if the guy has ever heard of "Instant messaging" and how that works.

[Qaeria]

Disable email scanning.

Not the best Idea. I understand that you are suggesting that the scanning is disabled on his machine (Which I did as one of the first steps BTW), but the only scanner left to disable is the one on the mail server.

He might appreciate getting emails nice and fast, but I don't think our customers would like a round of pwnage on their Wind Blows Units

[Gerrinson]

Had an end user yesterday that wanted me to come fix her email. She was waiting on an email from someone else who "should have sent it by now" but she hadn't received it. She said she was sending and receiving emails from other people, and I know that the sender's domain is on our white list.

My diagnosis: The other person hasn't sent the email yet.

Her response: But they should have, so there must be something wrong with my email!

Wash, rinse, repeat for about 5 minutes.

[otakuneko]

He might appreciate getting emails nice and fast, but I don't think our customers would like a round of pwnage on their Wind Blows Units

That's what the real-time monitor's for.

I did it all the time. Caller calls in with email not working? Disable the AV's email scanner module fixes it, 9 times out of 10.

[MrSmiley]

I use AVG as my antivirus application, but it doesn't seem to have any connection with the issue. Would sure appreciate any suggestions you might have. 30 seconds to send out a three word email! Ridiculous.

Since it will probably take the same 30 seconds to establish the connection and send the server commands to process the message.... just tell him to write more text so that he gets more value for that operation! More bang for the buck! Buy your first three words at regular price and get the rest of the paragraph ABSOLUTELY FREE! (disclaimer: text messaging fees may still apply, so stop emailing cell phones )

Alternatively, AVG could be slowing it down a tad... since it features an Email Protection component that presumably at least gives the message a quick once-over (I forget exactly because usually I end up disabling it on networked users and let the mail server itself handle that bit of the work)

[Qaeria]

I think I tackled the problem. I was right in the beginning that the problem is on our end. For some reason our company came up in the spam-a-lot lottery, and so our Main mail server is basically under attack, and trying to work through the thousands of emails per second. I spent the better part of this week updating and manually coding tweaks to Spam Assassin and things are improving.

[otakuneko]

(disclaimer: text messaging fees may still apply, so stop emailing cell phones )

On my prepaid sidekick, "anything that's not voice" is included in the $1/day access charge, so email away! I prefer it!