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A few more of the gems. I know some could go in "Cursing Co-Workers", but it's more about the the guy I replaced.
It does work better....
A new start gets the phone set up and sorted. Uses a co-worker's phone to call our help(less) desk in a panic because the phone does not work. Not once, not twice, but thrice. They in turn call me because this person, who has been there for a whole 2 days, is having a shitfit because their phone does not work. I can't take the first two calls because I'm in a clean room. Get the call, walk about another 1/2 mile back to their desk (big campus), which was right by where I was, and it turns out the phone was unplugged.
FFS! CHECK THE DAMN THING FIRST!
What's where??
I'm still pretty new and get a call about a dozen wires that need to be put into the roof. I love finding undocumented wiring fields. Thanks to the predecessor.
OK - I'm wondering about what you were smoking.
Same predecessor - and even farther away from my cave of doom. Tracing back some wires. Not only not documented, nothing was labeled. 4 farking hours to trace everything back. 1/2 the time was walking. After the fourth trip - I decided to drive between the buildings. <sigh>
This was a good idea why?
Bit more technical, but with a certain class of service, a phone can be forwarded to just about any other number in the world. This is, of course, a security hole one could drive a truck through. It's always been against company policy to allow it, and corporate has decided to crack down on it. I run an audit on the ol' PBX and find 300+ sets that could do it.
Out of those 300, 4 of them have a need for it. 
Another 2 days of fixing shit up. 
IT'S THE POLICY!
As above, the same predecessor, while fucking the dog about enforcing it, if anyone would ask if they could forward the desk phone to the cell was told "NO! IT'S THE POLICY!" <click> One hint dude - and part of the reason you're not on the gravy train any more - explain to the users WHY it's policy. Oh - and give them the option to do it if it's needed - it can be done safely if you know what you're doing. Since the password for the system you had didn't even have access to that part of the system, it's clear you didn't know and didn't give a shit. Thanks asshole.
Ummm - while the phone is on your desk, it's not yours. And don't bitch because things don't work right.
Yes, the display on your phone is borked. While you can still talk on it, it's about 20 years old and has been running 7x24x365 for that time. It may drop some pixels. Don't try to upgrade by grabbing a phone from an empty office and then bitch about it. I'd like to upgrade the rolling shitheap known as my car to your new Audi. Just because it's sitting in the lot without anyone in it does not mean I can, asshole!
We're a federal nuclear facility....could you write it down?
Predecessor again. Normally, we have to kill forests for the paperwork needed to keep the place going and keep the regulators handy. And it's understandable because the raw materials that make the nuclear medicine that will save your life can quickly make a whole city have a bad day.
Now, one would think that if things go badly wrong, having accurate drawings, diagrams, and documentation would be part of the SOP.
Oh? So "plan", "document", and "prepare" are all 4 letter words to you?
Thanks asshole. At least I have another year's worth of work to get this shit in order. And pray it does not get audited in the next couple of years.
At least it's almost Friday.
B
It does work better....
A new start gets the phone set up and sorted. Uses a co-worker's phone to call our help(less) desk in a panic because the phone does not work. Not once, not twice, but thrice. They in turn call me because this person, who has been there for a whole 2 days, is having a shitfit because their phone does not work. I can't take the first two calls because I'm in a clean room. Get the call, walk about another 1/2 mile back to their desk (big campus), which was right by where I was, and it turns out the phone was unplugged.
FFS! CHECK THE DAMN THING FIRST!
What's where??
I'm still pretty new and get a call about a dozen wires that need to be put into the roof. I love finding undocumented wiring fields. Thanks to the predecessor.
OK - I'm wondering about what you were smoking.
Same predecessor - and even farther away from my cave of doom. Tracing back some wires. Not only not documented, nothing was labeled. 4 farking hours to trace everything back. 1/2 the time was walking. After the fourth trip - I decided to drive between the buildings. <sigh>
This was a good idea why?
Bit more technical, but with a certain class of service, a phone can be forwarded to just about any other number in the world. This is, of course, a security hole one could drive a truck through. It's always been against company policy to allow it, and corporate has decided to crack down on it. I run an audit on the ol' PBX and find 300+ sets that could do it.
Out of those 300, 4 of them have a need for it. Another 2 days of fixing shit up. IT'S THE POLICY!
As above, the same predecessor, while fucking the dog about enforcing it, if anyone would ask if they could forward the desk phone to the cell was told "NO! IT'S THE POLICY!" <click> One hint dude - and part of the reason you're not on the gravy train any more - explain to the users WHY it's policy. Oh - and give them the option to do it if it's needed - it can be done safely if you know what you're doing. Since the password for the system you had didn't even have access to that part of the system, it's clear you didn't know and didn't give a shit. Thanks asshole.
Ummm - while the phone is on your desk, it's not yours. And don't bitch because things don't work right.
Yes, the display on your phone is borked. While you can still talk on it, it's about 20 years old and has been running 7x24x365 for that time. It may drop some pixels. Don't try to upgrade by grabbing a phone from an empty office and then bitch about it. I'd like to upgrade the rolling shitheap known as my car to your new Audi. Just because it's sitting in the lot without anyone in it does not mean I can, asshole!
We're a federal nuclear facility....could you write it down?
Predecessor again. Normally, we have to kill forests for the paperwork needed to keep the place going and keep the regulators handy. And it's understandable because the raw materials that make the nuclear medicine that will save your life can quickly make a whole city have a bad day.
Now, one would think that if things go badly wrong, having accurate drawings, diagrams, and documentation would be part of the SOP.
Oh? So "plan", "document", and "prepare" are all 4 letter words to you?
Thanks asshole. At least I have another year's worth of work to get this shit in order. And pray it does not get audited in the next couple of years.
At least it's almost Friday.
B
I AM the evil bastard!
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