Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!!

[that_chick_in_I.T.]

Dear customer,

When you call tech support, it is presumably to ask a question. Presumably, the duty of the rep on the other end is to ANSWER the question.

It makes it a lot easier for me to do this, if you will let me get a freaking word in edgewise!

As a side note, asking the same stupid question 30 times does not change the answer. Even if you interrupt the tech support rep at every syllable to do so.

[Ringtail Z28]

Wow, you just described every conversation I've ever had with my current coworkers.

[Depot Denizen]

I get a lot of this at work, especially with warranty issues. A student will try asking the question half a dozen times from slightly different angles to see if I change my answer. This happens a lot when the idiot spills beer onto his brand new Apple laptop. Their warranty doesn't cover accidental stuff like that, or when they decide to drop it off the desk a few times. I'll get questions like "Well, what if I take it apart and dry it, they can't tell, man." Oooooooooh yes, they can. If we ship it back to Apple, they will figure out what you've done to it, and they won't be happy. Mobo replacements on those are verrrry expensive, and a few busted parts can easily mean a new machine.

[Spankmonkey]

I'm right with you there. I hate people who just love to talk for the sake of talking. My favorite thing has got to be the people who tell you that they didn nothing to their computer, didn't change any of the settings, however they have the wrong username and password typed in and are wondering why they can't connect.

Second pet peeve is people that have absolutely no clue but ask you questions which you end up repeating over 5 times in the conversation. They ask you stupid crap like "What does Default mean?".

Then you have stupid people like this lady today who called and said "I have a problem but you probably can't help me with it ".. my first reaction "Then why are you calling me?" but because we have to kiss the asses of stupid morons, we have to say things like "what type of a problem are you having" Now keep in mind, we are technical support for an ISP, so email settings, connection issues and browser settings.. that's it.. and all of our customers know this but still they persist..

She proceeds to tell me about her not being able to print to a network printer, because it's asking for an IP address on her network... The first question she asks is "what is an IP address?", then once I answer that question she thinks that I'm going to help her with her unrelated problem to my job description. I politely explained that we don't technically support the printers, and she may have better luck contacting the manufacturer of the printer, or her IT department.

The other people I love is when they don't have your service, but they call you for help because they don't want know who to call. I had a guy call in saying he was having a problem trying to connect to the internet.

When I asked him for his email address, he said blahblahblah@aol.com. The thing that staggers me is we always answer the phone by saying " Thank you for calling (company name), my name is Bill, how can I help you?"

Now I confirmed with the customer that he had AOL service and he said that was right. I did explain that I wasn't a representative of AOL so I wouldn't be able to help him with his issue connecting to AOL. And he got a little upset. Again.. something that's just common sense, you wouldn't call Target to ask how your toaster you purchased at Wal-Mart works.

Anyway, to make a long story short, the reason he called us is because he saw the Tech Support number in the Yellow Pages and just assumed that we could help him.

Again, in another instance I had a gentleman come into the office here upset because he was having a problem with his internet connection. After doing some questioning, he said that he was having problems with his telephone and his television set, because he has a cable TV package through the cable company. When I explained that we aren't the cable company and that I wasn't able to help him, he said "Oh!, I just saw 'internet' on your sign and I came down here to see if you could fix it"

I had all I could do to try to compose myself, and not bang my head repeadedly and laughing hysterically. I think there needs to be a removal of people from technology.

Then again, if there weren't stupid people in the world, I'd be out of a job. I know it's painful at times, but is there a way to verify that no brain cells are damaged when speaking to these people... a way to take inventory both before and after so one can be assured that there aren't any.

Things like people on dialup getting duplicated messages because their family members send them huge files that takes hours to download on dialup, then they call us wondering why it's taking so long to download, and why they keep getting duplicate messages. Some people are just their own worst nightmare.

[zelper]

I used to work in a government call centre which was having....let us say 'issues' with fulfilling it's own criteria. I got one caller who was a manager for a different government department who would not let me finish a sentence. He'd do the usual go-round I'm sure you all know where he asks a question, I start to answer it and then he jumps in halfway through to ask a different question or to try to contradict me because he thought he knew what I was going to say.

Eventually I just got fed up with him. He was technically a colleague and should have known better how to behave.

Caller: Blah blah blah?
Me: *silence*
Caller: I said blah blah blah?
Me: Do you want me to answer?
Caller: Of course I do!!!
Me: It's just that whenever I try to answer a question you cut me off or interrupt me. I'm not sure why you are asking questions if you don't want the answers.
Caller: um......sorry.

He was as good as gold after that.

[HawaiianShirts]

Again.. something that's just common sense, you wouldn't call Target to ask how your toaster you purchased at Wal-Mart works.

Sure they do! All the time!

I work for a major electronics retailer. (Think Circuit City, Fry's, Best Buy, places like that.) We do not sell Dell computers or products. Almost NOBODY directly sells Dell computers or products. Yet I still get the phone calls. They'll ask me about something they bought at our competitor. They'll ask me about something they bought online. They'll ask me some specific question about software I've never even touched and couldn't help them with if my life depended on it. They'll ask if I know who carries some obscure part or product, which is a valid question, but then some ask it over and over again and get angry when I don't know my competitors' inventories. And then there are the phone calls.

Me: *Store* Computers, this is HawaiianShirts.
Caller: Yeah, I have a Dell...
Me: Okay.
Caller: It's having a problem...
Me: And what would that be?
Caller: I was hoping you could help me with it. (Describes problem. I determine it is not something that can be fixed with a purchase from my store, and tell them they need to call Dell's tech support.

Or

Me: *Store* Computers, this is HawaiianShirts.
Caller: Yeah, I'm online looking at some computers, and I'm wondering if you can give me some more information.
Me: (Thinking they're at my store's site.) I can try. What are you looking at?
Caller: It's the Dell Inspiron (model number), and blah blah blah?
Me: I'm sorry, I don't carry Dell computers. I don't know anything more about that model than you do. I can tell you about similar models I do have here.
Caller: Oh. Well, I could just come in if I wanted that.
Me: You certainly could.
Caller: So do you have this Inspiron on display so I could check it out?
Me: No. I don't carry Dell products. No one around here does. You'll need to contact Dell directly if you want one of their computers.
Caller: Do you know anyone who does have this on display?
Me: *sigh*

My favorite are the ones who get mad at me because I don't carry Dell ink.

I'll try to help with whatever problems I can. Really. I like happy customers. But there's only so much I can do!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Sure they do! All the time!

I work for a major electronics retailer. (Think Circuit City, Fry's, Best Buy, places like that.) We do not sell Dell computers or products. Almost NOBODY directly sells Dell computers or products. Yet I still get the phone calls. They'll ask me about something they bought at our competitor. They'll ask me about something they bought online. They'll ask me some specific question about software I've never even touched and couldn't help them with if my life depended on it. They'll ask if I know who carries some obscure part or product, which is a valid question, but then some ask it over and over again and get angry when I don't know my competitors' inventories. And then there are the phone calls.

Me: *Store* Computers, this is HawaiianShirts.
Caller: Yeah, I have a Dell...
Me: Okay.
Caller: It's having a problem...
Me: And what would that be?
Caller: I was hoping you could help me with it. (Describes problem. I determine it is not something that can be fixed with a purchase from my store, and tell them they need to call Dell's tech support.

Or

Me: *Store* Computers, this is HawaiianShirts.
Caller: Yeah, I'm online looking at some computers, and I'm wondering if you can give me some more information.
Me: (Thinking they're at my store's site.) I can try. What are you looking at?
Caller: It's the Dell Inspiron (model number), and blah blah blah?
Me: I'm sorry, I don't carry Dell computers. I don't know anything more about that model than you do. I can tell you about similar models I do have here.
Caller: Oh. Well, I could just come in if I wanted that.
Me: You certainly could.
Caller: So do you have this Inspiron on display so I could check it out?
Me: No. I don't carry Dell products. No one around here does. You'll need to contact Dell directly if you want one of their computers.
Caller: Do you know anyone who does have this on display?
Me: *sigh*

My favorite are the ones who get mad at me because I don't carry Dell ink.

I'll try to help with whatever problems I can. Really. I like happy customers. But there's only so much I can do!

If you have either an Aaron's Lease to Own store or Rent-A-Center in your area, you can send those people there. They carry Dell computers.

Yes, they'll have to pay more, but they'll have access to repair/tech support while they are making payments. And they can (hopefully) leave you alone.

A win-win situation IMO

[friendofjimmyk]

Not work related, but I dated a guy that would ask me a question and before I could even mutter a response, he would answer it with an answer that he was sure I was going to say and then get mad at me for the response that I did not emit! We broke up!

[Depot Denizen]

Nothin' like jumping the gun, eh? When I ask questions, I usually don't know the answer. Though sometimes, I like asking questions while I know the answer, just to see what the other person says.

[that_chick_in_I.T.]

Last part of a phone call today, after I've told some Darwin Award contender 20 times that he has reached tech support for a billing issue, and I have to transfer him to billing....

Me: Okay sir, we need to get the cancellation stopped on your account. This is a billing issue. I need to get you over to the billing department. I'm in tech support, and per the Sarbanes Oxley (sp?) Act, I'm not allowed to touch this.

DAC: So who is allowed to touch this <bitchmoanrantWAAAAAAMBULANCE>?

Me: That would be the people I'm transferring you to. Hold please.

[SnapAddict218]

Not work related, but I dated a guy that would ask me a question and before I could even mutter a response, he would answer it with an answer that he was sure I was going to say and then get mad at me for the response that I did not emit! We broke up!

Holy Dog Crap! I think I dated him too!