Poor Eugene

[Dips]

One of my co-workers, Eugene, was working with a customer whose was having trouble with the way our software displayed on the screen.

Of course the first question he asked was, "Did you make any changes to your hardware or software right before you noticed the problem?"

The customer answered "No."

So Eugene tried a few other possibilities. None of them panned out. So he asked the questions again to be sure, "Are you sure about not making any changes? Did you download any freeware, drivers, updates, anything like that?"

Again the answer was "No. I'm sure."

Eugene is a very determined fellow. He took the customer through a bunch more tests and changes. They even ventured into the registry and the BIOS. No dice.

"And you're absolutely sure you haven't made any changes to your system? Not even a new monitor or printer?"

"No," said the customer, "I'm sure. All I know is that it worked on my old computer and now it's acting funny on my new one."

[Crosshair]

My head hurts very badly right now because of that.

[HawaiianShirts]

Guh.

I feel like I've been hit in the head with the stupid stick.

There is nothing intelligent to be said about these customers. They make you go through this extensive tech support process, not answering your questions, then suddenly provide you with that one bit of information that provides an instant understanding of the situation. And why do those statements so often begin with "And all I know is..." ?

"And all I know is that when the power went out, I lost my internet connection."
"And all I know is that when I unplugged the mouse, it stopped working."
"And all I know is that when I deleted X, I couldn't do Y any more."

All I know is that you owe me one hour of my life back. And three hours of therapy.

[lordlundar]

"why do keep banging your head like that?"
"because it feels good when I stop."