Fixing a brain box

[TNT]

From the internet tech support files...

I'm sitting at my desk, minding my own business, when I get a call.

Customer: I'm installing a new brain box but I can't get it connected.

I admit, I was flustered. I couldn't just come right and ask the caller wtf he was talking about because I didn't want to embarass either him or myself. A modem? A new videogame that would obselete the PS3 and Wii before they were even released? A weird Dr. Frankenstein experiment?

I googled "brain box" and that was no help...

Then I made the big mistake... I put the phone on mute and asked my co-workers what they thought. Techs are a bizarre lot even in the best of circumstances... give them the words "brain" and "box" to play with and all hell breaks loose. Alas, most of their ideas are unprintable here.

So, once I got the animals calmed down, I had to go back to the caller. I started asking questions, pausing at certain points in hopes the caller would fill in the blanks.

Me: Okay, so you've got a new...
Caller: ... brain box...
Me: ... and you're connecting it to...
Caller: ... the internet.

Aha! At least we're moving in the right direction. Now to search for another clue...

Me: Did something go wrong with your old brain box?
Caller: It don't work no more.
Me: What exactly happened?
Caller: It just didn't work no more.
Me: What do you use your brain box for?
Caller: Lots of stuff.

All right... obviously that line of question was going exactly nowhere.

Me: All right... I see you have a Motorola modem. Anything else connected to it besides the brain box?
Caller: What do you mean?
Me: Do you have a router?
Caller: What's a router?

Okay, that wasn't going anywhere. Time to take a shot in the dark...

Me: Unplug the modem from the electric outlet and turn off the brain box... now plug the modem back in... now turn the brain box back on... does it work?
Caller: Yeah! Great. Thanks for your help.

Cool... I fixed a brain box. That's going on my resume.

[DeamonCohln]

I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say he was talking about the actual CPU.

If I know anything, it's technology-stupid people.

My dad still calls his computer a Commadore. (Don't ask)

[Seanette]

I'm trying to figure out whether this call was tech support or a neurosurgeon.

[lordlundar]

I'm trying to figure out whether this call was tech support or a neurosurgeon.

Too true.

Hey, at least something there can be identified as having a brain.

[draftermatt]

That's better than the people who point to the monitor and say "My computer isn't working"

[MadMike]

That's better than the people who point to the monitor and say "My computer isn't working"

My wife did something like that once.

I was out somewhere, and she was home playing on the computer. She had just started using it, so she didn't really know much about it, and was a little paranoid about breaking it somehow.

I got a call from her on my cell, and she was frantic because the thing had locked up, and she was sure that it was her fault. Of course, she now knows that "Fucking Windows 98!", as it was called in the South Park movie, will do that, but back then she did not.

"Oh my god! The computer's not working! I think I broke it! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"Calm down. These things happen. I'm sure it wasn't your fault."

"But I'm trying to move the mouse, and nothing's happening! It's frozen!"

"It'll do that sometimes. It's not your fault. Just hit the reset button. Do you know where it is?"

"No!"

"OK, there's a big button on the computer. That's the power switch. The reset button is right above it."

"Where? I don't see any big button! I only see one little button."

(Go back and forth with this a few times) "Uh... you're not looking on the monitor, are you?"

(Slight pause) "Yes...." (In an embarrassed and somewhat frustrated tone) "OK, I found the resest button. It's starting up now. I guess it's OK."