Guess who isn't getting his internet fixed.

[the toy guy]

First off, I no longer work in a toy store. Since February, I have been working in a call center which provides tech support for DSL customers. My job mainly consists of troubleshooting problems with the customer's internet connection, plus basic support for email and wireless (mainly setup). Most of the customers aren't too bad, just people who want their internet to work, but we do get our share of SCs.


Anyways, on to the story.

This is a call I took earlier today. It started out ok, I got the customer's info and pulled up his account without any trouble, and he seemed perfectly reasonable. Then we started the troubleshooting.

Me: "What can I help you with today?"

SC: "My internet has been getting slower and slower, lately. It's slower than dialup!"

Me: "Alright sir, we'll figure out what's causing that and get it fixed for you. Can you go ahead and pull up the internet on your computer so that we can run a test?"

SC: "I'm not at home right now, can't you just send someone out to fix it?"

Me: "I'm afraid we do need to do some troubleshooting to find what's causing the problem before we can send someone out. Why don't you give us a call when you're at your computer so that we can get that taken care of?"

SC: "I'll be at home all day tomorrow, you can call me back then."

Me: "Actually, sir, it would be better if you call back when it's convenient for you. I'm afraid we don't have a way to setup a callback for you."

SC: "No, I don't want to call back, I've already called you! I want one of your repair guys to call me in the morning when he's ready to fix my internet."

Me: "I'm sorry, but we can't call you back. You will need to call us when you are ready so that we can find the problem."

SC: "I'm not a computer repairman, I've already told you about the problem. It's on you to take the next step, now. I will be expecting a call from you tomorrow, and I won't be calling back!"

Me: "Sir, we will not be able to-"

SC: *hangs up*



Just in case, I double checked with one of our level 2 techs afterwards. Sure enough, we can't schedule a callback for him. He's going to be waiting quite a while for that call.

[crashhelmet]

It's slower than dialup!

This phrase always pisses me off. If you want a refresher in what dial up speeds are just ask and I'll click the button ;p (Yes, I have that power)

What really pisses me off about customers like this is that almost all speed problems are caused by something on the luser's end. Too many firewalls, expired version of Norton or McAfee, out of date firmware on routers, bad ethernet cables, or they're downloading a zillion files with Limewire or BitTorrent. But yet they want us to send a tech out or to fix whatever's going on without them being at their computer. THEN they complain trying to get credits. If I had my way, we'd just cancel them right then and there. Take away their computers too ;p

CH

[lordlundar]

If I had my way, we'd just cancel them right then and there. Take away their computers too ;p

CH

Personally, I'd like to take a far more permanent approach: instruct them how to make an etherkiller and sit back and wait. And if they complain, just ifnorm that they plugged it in wrong. After a while, they'll cancel their account on their own and all you were was "helpful".

[Ironclad Alibi]

What really pisses me off about customers like this is that almost all speed problems are caused by something on the luser's end.

The "almost" in that sentence means some speed problems are not the user's fault.

When I had DSL service, it would indeed be much slower than dialup, unless I had an open phone line. So I would call myself and put it on hold, and left it there all the time. The problem was a faulty modem, supplied by the DSL provider. I know this because the first two times it happened, a new model solved the problem for about a year then it would fail.

But getting them to send a new modem took an act of god. There was all the BS I had to do like turning everything on and off, then rebooting everything, etc. This would fix the problem for about 15 minutes. After complaining for about a week or so, they would eventually agree to send a tech out, who would then determine a new modem was needed. I think one time a level 2 tech decided to send a new modem without a visit.

After the third modem failed, I just found it easier to keep an open phone line all the time. Now I have FIOS and have had no problems with it (knock on plastic*).

* I believe in updating my superstitions.

[crashhelmet]

IA, reasons like yours are why I say "almost." We do find bad modems from time to time as well as issues on our end dealing with degraded service or outages. Sometimes it's even a server issue that we're unaware of. The problem is, we can't determine the cause of failure unless the customer is at their computer and willing to troubleshoot.

Most customers fail to understand that anything between them and whatever server their accessing on the Internet can be the cause of the problem.

CH

[Ironclad Alibi]

Most customers fail to understand that anything between them and whatever server their accessing on the Internet can be the cause of the problem.

CH

Quite true. One of the techs* that came out to investigate the problem was poking around the junction box in the neighbor's yard (dating from 1972) found some sort of loop back circuit that was causing problems. This probably dated back to before we moved into the house because when we moved in we had a phone line in our junction box that belonged to another neighbor.

* A woman tech for those SCs who think women aren't as capable as men.

[sevtherev]

When I had DSL service, it would indeed be much slower than dialup, unless I had an open phone line. So I would call myself and put it on hold, and left it there all the time.

This can also be caused by what's called an MTU or "Maintenance Testing Unit" located in the MPOE of older homes. When you use the phone the modem goes in sync or vice versa. Telco will come out and remove it for free if you have one (just for future reference for those who may have the same symptoms).

[technical.angel]

* A woman tech for those SCs who think women aren't as capable as men.

There better not be any on this board!

:: beats her shapely chest ::

[Rapscallion]

Hmm - you look like you might have risked bruising that.

I can help.

Rapscallion

[sms001]

I can help.

A thick layer of man-pelt may "help" prevent bruising on you Raps, but it's really not the answer for everyone........

[Akasa]

A thick layer of man-pelt may "help" prevent bruising on you Raps, but it's really not the answer for everyone........

Bwahahahahaha

[Sauletekis]

SC: "I'm not at home right now, can't you just send someone out to fix it?"

If I had a pound for everytime I have heard this at my tech support job, I'd be able to retire to a sunny beach some where. While I sympathise with the ones who do have a genuine fault, 9 times out of ten it's something that can be fixed over the phone.

Wouldn't it be great to have a policy stating something along the lines of 'Sure, I'll be happy to send someone out, however, if no fault is found you will be liable for the call out charge'. Would make my life easier.

[Ironclad Alibi]

SC: "I'm not at home right now, can't you just send someone out to fix it?"

If you're not at home, anyone we send out wouldn't be able to get into your house to fix your computer.

[Sonoma]

But getting them to send a new modem took an act of god.

I had the opposite problem...

I had an issue using my DSL connection last fall. Did the power-down process and all that, still no fix. So I called. We did a full reset of the modem, and I was then able to connect with the site she gave me, but it wouldn't go further than that. We could ping google.com & yahoo.com, but it still wouldn't connect. She consulted with her lead, and determined that my modem was bad. I asked about following the on-screen instructions that my computer was showing, specifically the part that said "If you have reset your modem, click here....". I was abruptly instructed to NOT follow those instructions. By that point it was 2 AM, I was tired, and she was insisting my modem was faulty, and they'd overnight me a modem.

Talking with my Dad the next day, he & I both agreed that replacing the modem didn't make sense, since my computer was obviously communicating with other computers, the modem was working. I went home, followed the on-screen instructions, and voila, I had internet access.

The clincher is, when I did try the 'new' modem at a later date, I could never get it to work right. I thought I'd use it, since it was newer than the one I'd had for a year. Well, it got shipped back, and I'm still using my original 'defective' modem.

[Skeksin]

Wouldn't it be great to have a policy stating something along the lines of 'Sure, I'll be happy to send someone out, however, if no fault is found you will be liable for the call out charge'. Would make my life easier.

My company does. They still call and raise holy heck with the customer service department about the bill......usually they don't care however. We warned them after all.