I never wanted a call to end so much

[TNT]

My first call of the morning came from someone who may well have been the most clueless person ever to puzzle out how to use a computer. And it wasn't even her limitations that bothered me so much... it was her relentless refusal to accept her limitations.

All I wanted her to do was unplug the ethernet cable from the back of her modem and plug it back in... just to make sure that it was connected firmly. That's it. Just that.

Of course, I had to explain how what a modem is, what a computer is, and what an ethernet cable is. I made the gentle suggestion that perhaps she might want to invite a more intelligent -- I mean, computer literate -- friend over to help her out.

"I can do this," she said, "I think I know what to do."

Time passed. Then more time. Then still more time. Finally, "Okay, I've unplugged the ethernet cable. What next?"

"Uh, plug it back in?"

"Which one is that again?"

"The one you just unplugged."

"Well," she said, "I wasn't sure which one you wanted, so I just unplugged everything."

"You unplugged everything on the modem?"

"And the computer. I figured if I did that, I was bound to get the right cable."

Okay... after an eternity, I finally got everything hooked back up... But when she went to turn the computer on... "Nothing's happening! Nothing's happening at all!"

Uh-oh. Then I thought about it... "You really did unplug everything, didn't you?"

"Yeah."

The keyboard, the video cable, the rodent, the computer's power cord... and who knows what else. "You know you might want to have a friend come over..."

"I know I can do this. I just need someone to walk me through it."

We got it done. I don't know how. I know I don't want to ever do it again.

[ShockQueen]

You have the patience of dealing with a clueless void like that one. Many kudos to you for your stick-to-it-iveness and I agree. I pray you never have to deal with someone of that ineptitude again.

[TNT]

Thanks. I wish sometimes I could be more like one of my co-workers -- he actually enjoys calls like this. I end a call like that screaming, "My head just exploded." He ends a call like that saying, "I always feel so good when I help someone like that get back online."

He scares me. He scares everybody.

[ShockQueen]

It won't last, and the affliction will pass. It always does. Eventually reality will sink in that yes.....people are just that stupid - especially when they call fifty times about the exact same thing.

Not to mention those that know JUST enough to be dangerous to themselves......and your sanity.

Hang in there....it'll get easier, and then the sarcastic sense of humour will kick in.

[lordlundar]

You need a dose of the BOFH

[SengaKitty]

*twitch* oh god please help TNT and may his call time be low....... I would DIE over a call like that... i'd probably get fired for releasing it when i could take no more........... (I work in just about the same business, troubleshooting cable internet over the phone) *twitch* ShockQueen's right, you have the patience of an angel!

[Banrion]

I kinda wanna know who met this woman in person, and didn't sell her one of the pretty color coded PC's. Even my self-built whitebox is color coded, I thought that was standard these days.

[Phone Jockey]

I would have encouraged her to find someone to help. You have WAY more patience than I do!

[protege]

Some older machines don't have the pretty color-coded plugs. Of course if you RTFM, it's not hard to see where things go However, I'd like to smack some of the manufacturers--we had one machine at work, a Gateway, that had a slightly-different setup. On that POS, the keyboard/mouse plugs were reversed. Not surprisingly, I had to remind myself constantly when working on that machine.

[Tito]

Wow! Kudoes to you for having the patience that you had.

[greensinestro]

Like, yeah. I don't know how much patience I would have had for that. Working in tech support myself, I feel for you. I'm one of those who sooner or later suggests to the customer that they find someone who is a little more techno saavy on this sort of thing . If you don't get it with me on the phone walking you through it, you're never going to get it.

[jobe457]

LOL I had a call like that one time, the sc didnt know what a modem was, and when i described he said "ohh you mean the thing in this box from verizon", I pressed mute and said NO THE OTHER BOX we sent you, then I had another customer who I told to unplug the modem's ethernet cord, at verizon we would say yellow cord blue cord ect. for whatever color cord ethernet we'd sent well dumbass unplugged her phone instead, I liked idiots like that, then I had another similiar situation with another person well I told Her to restart her computer, she said "WHAT'S A COMPUTER?" it was with that question that I realized I had a complete and total moron on my hands and was able to get her off the phone by suggesting someone more literate in computers call instead of her........