So I Got This Email...

[Dips]

From a teacher. He needs his software activated RIGHT AWAY! Like NOW! Can we do that?

Sigh. He didn't tell me his serial number even though we tell everyone to give that to us when they contact us for tech support. I really can't answer that question or help him without one. Why?

If he doesn't have a serial number the answer is "no."

If he does have a serial number but it's at an ancient version that isn't eligible to activate, the answer is "no."

If he does have a serial number but it's registered to someone else, then the answer is "HELL no."

If he does have a serial number, it is a recent version and it it registered to him, the the answer is "Yes. We can do that quickly, provided you aren't a drooling moron who can't follow directions."

So I guess the answer is still "no."

[KiaKat]

But don't you know you're supposed to be able to read his mind and get the serial number just based off his email address?

I mean, really. Who doesn't know this?

[draggar]

KiaKat,

He's supposed to just give out serial numbers to anyone who requests / demands one - don't you know software licenses are just there so people like the OP can just sit on the phone al day and give them out to everyone? Sheesh, get with the program.

[KiaKat]

Riiiight.

Sorry, I forgot. I was thinking RETAIL, rather than tech support. You guys give out software licenses for free and are able to support any piece of software under the sun, no matter who made it, and we have the psychic associates who can find everything in the Magic Room of Holding.

[Bandit]

and we have the psychic associates who can find everything in the Magic Room Ass of Holding.

Fixed it for ya!

B

[Der Cute]

Well, no...

Since we're computer techs, we're automatically classified with Hackers.
So anyone who can repair a machine is now a person who can also hack into networks and read information from a computer.

You're supposed to have some kind of magic button, and POOF it pulls up the data you need.

See, we're all super powered hacking puter geeks who can work magick.

ask him if he misplaced his tinfoil hat.

Cutenoob

[crashhelmet]

Well, no...

Since we're computer techs, we're automatically classified with Hackers.
So anyone who can repair a machine is now a person who can also hack into networks and read information from a computer.

You're supposed to have some kind of magic button, and POOF it pulls up the data you need.

See, we're all super powered hacking puter geeks who can work magick.

ask him if he misplaced his tinfoil hat.

Cutenoob

This is true, except that there is no button. We have multiple cables plugged into ports in our bodies, a la Shadowrun Deckers, and our brains process it all there for us.

At this very moment, I'm telling this customer's computer to reprogram his keyboard so that the caps lock key is on, but the light is off, making him mistype his password and get locked out of his email account.

CH

[Bandit]

Nothing says "Job Security" than the (l)users.

Says he who has had a dozen tickets in the last week that say "User came back from vacation and forgot password. Plz Reset".

Will repeat in January and March.

Walking ID10T errors the lot of them.......


B

[Dips]

This is a completely different customer but it's along the same lines so I'm putting it in this thread.

Caller: I've been using your software forever but got my computer repaired and it wiped everything out. [Translation: I haven't bought anything from you for *years* but now that I need something I'm giving you a call.]

Me: Let me see what version you have. What is your license or serial number please? [Translation: I think you're screwed, but if there's a slim chance I can help I'll live in hope that I can help you.]

Caller: Oh, I don't have that. I lost all my disks and paperwork. Can you look me up in your database by name or something? [Translation: I lost something. That means *you* can find it and restore it to me using your magic database.]

Me: If you registered a license with us I'll be able to retrieve it using your contact information. What is your name and address? [Translation: I'll keep trying but if you didn't register your software, you're screwed.]

The caller gave his name and address. I looked and found that nobody with that last name living in that state has *ever* registered a license with us. I give him the bad news.

Me: I can't find a license registered in your name in our database. [Translation: You're screwed.]

Caller: Nothing? [Tx: I refuse to believe I'm screwed.]

Me: If you obtained the software from a third party and didn't us give your contact inform so we could register your license number to you, we don't have any means to retrieve your serial number for you. [Tx: Yes. You're actually screwed. And we don't have the magic powers to make you *not* screwed.]

Caller: What can I do? [Tx: I'm laboring under the belief that my failure to register my software is somehow still your problem to solve.]

Me: You can contact your reseller and perhaps he or she recorded which serial number was sold to you. [Tx: You're probably still screwed, but maybe you'll get lucky.]

Caller: I'm not sure I bought it. Maybe [state] agency gave it me. [I cling to the hope that I can find a way to get around having to know which license I had.]

Me: That may be so but we have hundreds of unregistered licenses in our database purchased by the state of [state] and given out. We have no means of knowing which one of those is the one they gave to you. [Tx: No dice. You're still screwed.

Caller: Then I think I bought it from a reseller. Which one did I buy it from? [Since story B didn't work, I'm going back to Story A. I still expect you to have magic powers, though.]

Me: We have over 100 resellers in the US. Any one of them could have sold you the license. Are you sure you don't remember who you bought it from? [Oh BOY are you screwed.]

Caller: It was so long ago. I don't know. [I'm beginning to realize I'm kind of screwed, aren't I?]

Me: If you do happen to find your license or serial number, do call us back. We'll get it registered to you. That way you won't have to worry. If you lose your media and paperwork we can look you up by name that way. [Yes. I honestly feel bad about it, but you are, in fact, screwed. On the bright side I bet you won't make the mistake of not registering your software again.]

[Samaliel]

[Yes. I honestly feel bad about it, but you are, in fact, screwed. On the bright side I bet you won't make the mistake of not registering your software again.]

I think you might be a tad bit optimistic about what such customers do learn in such endeavours...