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Local Support : Your buddy who swore up and down that installing that new video card was "no big deal" and could do it for you in return for a beer.
The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
"Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
Hoc spatio locantur.
Warranty: That service contract you just voided by spilling a class of beer onto your laptop.
Gun control is hitting your target; recycling is reloading your brass.
"It's not our fault the Business School makes you buy those crappy Gateways!"
"The queue is..."
BOX:(usage: my box ain't workin'.) 1. Modem 2. Router 3. Computer 4. Digital converter 5. Television 6. Video Game system 7. VCR 8. DVD 9. two are more of the previous items in combination 10. any other equipment connected directly or indirectly, intentionally or accidentally, to any other electronic item.
I was neat, clean, shaved and sober, and I didn't care who knew it. -- Raymond Chandler
Void Warranty: It's either been 5 years since you bought the thing, or your kid thought that taking a hammer to that gamecube wouldn't break it. Either way, it means no matter how "good" the warranty was, you can't use it.
Complies with accessibility guidelines: The main content is done in Flash (or Shockwave, or Buzzword-of-the-week), but the contract the techs have says to make the rest of the site accessible to the disabled.
(Yes, I was on the tech team for that one. We did what we could.)
Seshat's self-help guide:
1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.
"All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.
Laptop That thing which gets insanely hot and nearly starts a fire that the customer complains about. Typically caused by a large ammount of dust or pubic hair in the fans.
Keyboard An object specifically designed to attact all manner of dirt, dust, and hair. Sometimes used to type.
Stuck Key An error that is directly related to how much cola was spilled on the keyboard. At least you hope it was cola.
ID ten T error Used by tech support to explain that the customer screwed it up himself. Usually tacks on a 50% higher charge to fix.
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