Where have all the humans gone?

[Rahmota]

Arrgh. What ever happened to having a human call you? I have had over the past two weeks two different companies calling me with the same variation of this message.

Phone rings. It gets picked up. There is a synthetic voice on the other end saying "Please hold the line for the next available operator with an important message....." Thats about as far as we get because if the message is so important then why can't it be delivered by a human?

I mean I think I have surrendered to the fact that calling a company you may not get a human, and I am ok with thast because sometimes the thing I need is just to get a credit remaining for a card or something quick and easy the computer can handle and a human can be available for a more complex issue.

But I'm not sure I like having to deal with having the company's computers call me and then put me on hold.

[Gurndigarn]

Phone rings. It gets picked up. There is a synthetic voice on the other end saying "Please hold the line for the next available operator with an important message....." Thats about as far as we get because if the message is so important then why can't it be delivered by a human?

What scares me is that this has been happening long enough that either there are some incredibly dense people in various telecom/marketing companies, or they're actually making money with this somehow.

The Do Not Call* list is your friend.


*Or the local equivalent.

[Darkmage]

Even better then Do Not Call List...

I dialed an invalid number and recorded the tones and the messaget that the number could not be completed as dialed. I let it go twice and used that as my answering machine message for two weeks. In about three days, the number of telemarketing calls dropped to 0. Their computers are programmed to remove the number when they hit that message. After changing it back, the calls did not resume. It was a couple of months before my cable company called me again to try and upsell me.

[hecubus]

I have an rule about this sort of thing. I don't care who is calling; if the phone rings, I answer it, and the first thing I hear is a recording asking me to hold, I hang up. I don't care if it's a telemarketer, one of the utilities telling me I'm late with a payment, whatever it is. If I'm not important enough to your company to have a human call me, you're not important to me either. Many times, after I've hung up on the recordings several times, they will have a human call me. When that happens, I tell them to make a note that I will not deal with any calls unless they are by a person.

A guy's gotta have some standards.

[technical.angel]

Their computers are programmed to remove the number when they hit that message.

I have a Telezapper, which does pretty much the same thing. Even if I pick up the phone, it gives the disconnected tone.

Little annoying for valid calls, but eh.

Jenni

[Geek King]

Press 1 to have a sypathetic reply.
Press 2 to have a funny reply.
Press 3 to have related story reply.
Press 4 to have your thread hijacked.
Press 5 to have a woodchuck chuck wood.
Press 6 or please hold to have a real poster ignore your post in the order recieved.


**ducks various produce **

[technical.angel]

Technical Angel tries to decide between pressing 2 and 4....

Jenni

[Kika]

55555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555 5555555555555

Dang, and I wanted to know how much it could chuck.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I've been getting that, too. I really don't know what kind of big, titanium-plated, clanking gonads you have to be to call up someone, and then put them on hold till you are ready to talk to them.

From a blocked number, no less.

Needless to say, I will never, ever "hold the line."

I have a No Blocked Calls function on my phone I need to activate. Should take care of that.

My phone rules are thus:

1. I will not deal with a machine that calls me.
2. I will not answer a blocked or otherwise unidentified number. Leave a message and I will call you back. Provided you aren't a telemarketer, that is.
3. You wait till you are ready to talk to me, then you will call me. Otherwise, stay the hell off my phone.
4. My answering service is not a forum for your sales pitch unless you are paying me for space. Otherwise, stay the hell off my phone.
5. My line is not be used for your business purposes (ie sales calls) unless you are paying me. Otherwise, stay the hell off my phone.


I think that pretty much covers it.

[Banrion]

I have a No Blocked Calls function on my phone I need to activate. Should take care of that.

We tried that at my house for about a day, then my dad came home yelling and screaming, because he couldn't get through to the house from work. His work phone automatically comes through as unavailable and there's nothing he can do about it.

[Ringtail Z28]

I have an rule about this sort of thing. I don't care who is calling; if the phone rings, I answer it, and the first thing I hear is a recording asking me to hold, I hang up.

Same here! If they call me and ain't ready to talk, screw em!

[protege]

**ducks various produce **

Speaking of ducks, a very large financial services company had an option 7. After going through the first 6 options, #7 was "to hear a duck quack." Then it went on to option 8,9, etc. If you hit 7, you got hit with a little "quack" and then another message saying "thank you for calling XYZ Corp." and repeated the options. It was like that for months before it was removed

[Captain Trips]

In my (unfortunate, and long past) experience, there are several collections agencies that use this method, saying "a message of great financial importance" making you think it is positive news. Well, if they are so darned eager to collect money, you'd think they would start out with a human demanding payment. I got into the habit of just hanging up on the recordings. After all, as others have said, if it's so danged important, you could darn well have a real person making the call instead of an automated dialer! Especially if you think I owe you money!

BTW, most of the time the collections are because some hospital incorrectly billed my insurance instead of my wife's for services she had performed. Why do hospitals separate the billing? You know, one bill for the E.R., another for the doctor, another for the pharmacy, etc. when you only were there once? Usually it's one of the three or four that bills the wrong insurance! (From now on, she only shows her insurance card and I only show mine -- that way, they won't have the wrong card in front of them!) But this should be a separate rant/thread!

[Rahmota]

whats sad is I am on just about every do not call list i can find. But still they keep calling. Oh well anymore I listen long enough to see if its a collect call (I have a few cousins who need to use them as the jail wont let you use your cell phone) or not and then just hang up. Like has been said if they arnt willing to talk to me just yet then im not ready to listen.

Protege: I wonder just what prompted them to think of that option at all? at least it sounds like someone had a sense of humor, even if briefly.

[Geek King]

Protege: I wonder just what prompted them to think of that option at all? at least it sounds like someone had a sense of humor, even if briefly.

Most of the people who set these things up (like, say, yours truly) have a wonderfully twisted sense of humor. However, many of the high up muckity-mucks that wear suits are so concerned with corporate image that they make the all-too-common mistake that humor = unprofessional. I never get this. As I have asked my boss before, what Super Bowl commercials do you remember, the stodgy car company, or the great beer commercials? Whose commercial is still being talked about days later? Better to be funny and irk the few, than stoic and put a million to sleep.