Tech Hoppers

[sevtherev]

I work for an ISP and I'm sure many of you will be able to relate to this:


Customer calls in with a TOTALLY unsupported issue. (printer not working, monitor problems etc). If we have availability in queue sometimes we'll try to help the customer all while CLEARLY stating that it isn't supported (so don't expect it from other techs) and we'll try our best. But many times we end up having to refer them to their computer manufacturer or their "tech guy" who over-charged them to set the crap up.

Anyway, they call back and "tech hop" trying multiple times to find a n00b tech or just a dumbass that will continue this pointless adventure. Little do they know the secret of account notes and IRC communication. Anyway, it just boggles my mind how some of them can actually get ANGRY that we can't (or won't) fix something that is COMPLETELY outside of the realm of our support or ability.

[Hyndis]

If its slow, and its a relatively simply thing I'll try to help the person out anyways, even if its beyond what we normally support.

However, if the person is being an idiot and the simple task turns into an epic of fail, I extremely quickly lose patience with the person (they're not even a customer at this point, since the product in question isn't even ours, though our product is tangentially involved) and simply tell them to contact the manufacturer.

Of course this will invariably enrage the non-customer who will then demand that I support a product that isn't made by us anyways.

This is when they start biting the hand that is trying to feed them, and I adamantly inform them that this is not our product, we cannot support it for many reasons, and they must contact the manufacturer. Then I railroad them to end the call.


"I'm afraid I cannot help you beyond offering generalized advice. We cannot support this product because we do not produce it. IsthereanythingelseIcandoforyou? No? Alrighthaveagoodday." *click*


Yes, the last part is said all in one breath and extremely fast, so they invariably make a negative sort of sound at the end of the question, which then confirms that the call is over. Sometimes railroading is fun.

[infinitemonkies]

But you have to renovate my basement. I use a COMPUTER down there, and that's your job because I buys the internets from you....



Awhile ago I had a guy demanding tech support from me. He was having problems getting his new wireless mouse set up with his laptop. Not only wasn't he a guest in the hotel, he outright told me he works across the street and has been stealing our free wireless internet access for more than 2 years, so to his 'logic' that meant I had to help him.

Point of fact I did set up his mouse for him. I also disabled his anti-virus software

[wraiths_crono]

I remember getting a 'training opportunity' posted against me for this kind of issue: Cu called in said she moved her laptop and he desktop stopped working' I told her we couldn't fix the issue as its not internet related, she called in got a newb whom after spending 3 hours on the phone determined that her laptop just plugged into the monitor in the living room and that's why her 'desktop' stopped working. My sup and I had a great laugh at it, and countered the first agent, he got sent back to training on 'in scope support'

[Blade_Raver]

I had a guy call in and demand a registration code for Microsoft Office....

And I was a tech support rep for a dial-up ISP.

[ShockQueen]

This is why most places have a support scope or "sphere of support" that they can discuss with customers - just for this very reason - to keep call times down and not spend unnecessary time fixing unrelated issues with customer equipment. I've seen people "agent shop" 3, 4, 5 or more techs, who will each note the account, yet some newbie will sit there and try to figure it out, because they think they know the answer and "can just fix it for them".

This just hurts you and your performance, and we all know in a world where the metrics are all management sees, this is something I'd rather avoid.

So yes.....Tech Hoppers drive me batty!

[Eric the Grey]

Point of fact I did set up his mouse for him. I also disabled his anti-virus software

You realize that you've allowed a computer with no AV onto your network, right?

I would have disabled his wireless. I'm evil like that.


Eric the Grey

[Seshat]

It's probably in the DMZ or outside the firewall. I know I wouldn't have an unsecured wireless network inside my firewall - I'd treat it as 'the wilds'.

[Mikkel]

You realize that you've allowed a computer with no AV onto your network, right?

I would have disabled his wireless. I'm evil like that.


Eric the Grey

Write down the mac address and block it in the wireless router, it's easy and since he isn't a guest he can't complain (okay, has no cause for complaint ).

[draggar]

I used to work for a PC company (Fountain Tech - they made Quantex, Pionex, Cybermax, etc..). The rule was pretty much if it's the computer, we support it.

We had our share of tech hoppers but this one took the case.

The cube across from me took the call first. The caller said that they decided to upgrade their computer so they got a larger hard drive, a DVD-ROM drive (they were new at this time), a CD-RW, a keyboard with "the fancy media keys", a wheeled mouse, and a CF card reader for their digital camers.

Their first complaint was that all of these "upgrades" didn't do anything to make their PC run faster.

Their second complaint(s) was that the extra keys on the keyboard didn't work, they couldn't copy CDs from the DVD-ROM drive to the CD-RW and they didn't know how to copy the pictures from the memory card to the PC.

The tech told him that none of that could be supported by us and they needed to contact the respective manufacturer's tech support. Of course, they claimed that they did and they all told him he had to call us (yeah, right). The call didn't last long but the tech was smart enough to note the account.

A few hours later I get a call - the caller claims that his CD-ROM drive isn't working. Of course he refuses to give me the serial number (which then I tell him I can't help him without it since I need to look at the original hardware to see exactly what drivers would be needed for it). A few minutes later and after several "guesses" the PC pops up - I see notes from 6 other techs in the building - changed stories, claims that he didn't install anything, etc..

The funniest part is that they claim that they were on hold for several hours. Really? You got though 7 times during my shift, I highly doubt that.

[Bandit]

Sounds familiar.

There's a reason I don't answer the phone on a Friday.

Back when I was designing corporate phone systems, the salescritters who forgot about 300-page RFPs or had made wild promises to customers would start burning up the phones at about 11am every Friday.

Nothing quite like having a half-dozen people working away trying to close out the week, and then phone 1 rings. They call out who is calling (based on the CLID), and then phone 2 rings. Then phone 3, etc. Then an overhead page. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Though if the salescritter calling had taken us to lunch at least once that month, we might answer the phone. But the regular dweebs who shat on us regularly would not get the time of day.

B

[technical.angel]

Isn't it amazing how a free lunch gets a person great service.

I think that's why the CS department here BBQs for us once a year.

[bendertiger]

I'd be the evil bastard telling them to format their hard drive while trying to help

[tropicsgoddess]

I've had plenty tech hoppers before. They call in with some non-supported issue and they think that when I say no, they think that I'm some big meanie that won't help them (or that I'm incompetent ) and that there's some other tech (s) that can. Just STFU, call or go to the place you need to go to get your issue resolved and stop wasting our time, moron!

[taurinejunkie]

We get some op-hop at my job too. Makes me laugh because although there are no 'account notes' involved, policies are very much insisted upon in training and afterwards, so that no agent could forget them, and the supervisors (op-hoppers will more than likely get fed up and ask for a supervisor to bend the rules) back us up 100% and make no exceptions.

Speaking of supervisors, and if you'll forgive the threadjack, tonight I had a woman online who simply did not grasp that there is one (1) and only one supervisor on the floor at any given time, never more, never less, twenty-four (24) hours a day, seven (7) days a week, but that until I put her on hold and call the supervisor's line, there is no way for me to know for sure who the current supervisor is, and that the best I could do would be to name the few who have worked the same shifts as me in the past.

The same woman demanded I transfer her to a French Canadian supervisor, after I thought she had understood the above paragraph.

That call lasted, I think, 10 minutes, and immediately sent my average call time for the session (which had just begun) to an almost hilarious 198 seconds. (reminder: target is <26) Catch-up sessions are not fun, raise your hand if you agree.