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This happened beginning of the week.
A woman who sounded old called in to report a no post no video issue on her Emachines desktop. The computer’s motherboard and power supply already were replaced twice, because after 2 weeks of working fine the components would fail again. This would have been the third repair.
First, because it was a new call we needed to troubleshoot before sending out a tech. It says right in the service contract terms and conditions we need to do this, unless there is an extreme circumstance (like a person alone in a wheelchair).
I get her husband to do the troubleshooting, and after it was finished it was clear yet another motherboard needs to be replaced in the unit. That’s where the suckiness started:
First, the part about troubleshooting:
SC: I don’t understand why you had to put us through this. The other times, we just explained the issue and they sent out the parts and scheduled a tech out!
Me: It says right in the terms and conditions of the service contract, we need to troubleshoot.
SC: Well than why didn’t the 2 techs on the other two service calls do this?
Me: We can’t just send parts and techs out without troubleshooting, ma’am. If those techs didn’t troubleshoot with you then they’re not following the terms of the service contract, not to mention our support center.
SC: I don’t care, all I know is I didn’t have to go through this!
Then on to the replacement guarantee:
SC: This is going to be the third repair, can I get a new computer?
Me: *Looks up notes, sees this is going to be the 3rd pending repair. To qualify for a replacement a customer needs 3 completed repairs and a 4th pending.* I’m sorry ma’am, but you do not qualify for a replacement at this time because this is the 3rd pending repair… *level sets client on replacement policy.*
SC: I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, the other tech on the last service call told me I can get a new computer on the 3rd repair!
Me: I’m sorry you’ve been misinformed ma’am but *again level sets on replacement policy.*
SLD’s note: If the tech on the previous repair case told her that it was a classic case of “let’s just tell the customer anything to shut her up and get her off the phone.” Or more likely the SC is just full of it.
SC: Well once again you are telling me something different than what was previous told to me, and I’m not happy.
Now on to the parts we use. This customer was goading me into admitting we use faulty parts, which of course would be an instant failed audit:
SC: Why are we having this issue again anyway, are you using bad parts?
Me: No.
SC: Well it appears you are, otherwise why would they fail after two weeks!
Me: Ma’am like anything electronic things can fail.
SC: Yeah um ok sure!
Now for the part of sending out an agent. Our system is optimized-randomized (to prevent over-booking), which means the agent shown may not be the one actually showing up to do the work. As such, we cannot give the names out:
SC: And who’s the agent’s name?
Me: I can’t give that out, *gives spiel on how our database is set up.*
SC: Well, the other 2 techs did!
Me: If they did, they weren’t supposed to.
SC: So you’re just going to send a stranger to my house?
Me: He’s going to call you in the morning. It’s not like he’s going to just show up.
SC: This is unbelievable!
Now for the SC’s final words:
SC: I can’t believe you treated me this way! I’m a senior citizen, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Me: I’m sorry but I was merely following policy.
SC: Yeah well your policies are different than everybody else’s I have talked to!
Me: Our policies are uniform across the board.
SC: No! You made my life hell for 40 minutes, I’m going to call and report you, I swear I am!
Me: *Gives case number.* Thanks for calling (company), have a great day!
SC: *click.*
A woman who sounded old called in to report a no post no video issue on her Emachines desktop. The computer’s motherboard and power supply already were replaced twice, because after 2 weeks of working fine the components would fail again. This would have been the third repair.
First, because it was a new call we needed to troubleshoot before sending out a tech. It says right in the service contract terms and conditions we need to do this, unless there is an extreme circumstance (like a person alone in a wheelchair).
I get her husband to do the troubleshooting, and after it was finished it was clear yet another motherboard needs to be replaced in the unit. That’s where the suckiness started:
First, the part about troubleshooting:
SC: I don’t understand why you had to put us through this. The other times, we just explained the issue and they sent out the parts and scheduled a tech out!
Me: It says right in the terms and conditions of the service contract, we need to troubleshoot.
SC: Well than why didn’t the 2 techs on the other two service calls do this?
Me: We can’t just send parts and techs out without troubleshooting, ma’am. If those techs didn’t troubleshoot with you then they’re not following the terms of the service contract, not to mention our support center.
SC: I don’t care, all I know is I didn’t have to go through this!
Then on to the replacement guarantee:
SC: This is going to be the third repair, can I get a new computer?
Me: *Looks up notes, sees this is going to be the 3rd pending repair. To qualify for a replacement a customer needs 3 completed repairs and a 4th pending.* I’m sorry ma’am, but you do not qualify for a replacement at this time because this is the 3rd pending repair… *level sets client on replacement policy.*
SC: I can’t believe you’re doing this to me, the other tech on the last service call told me I can get a new computer on the 3rd repair!
Me: I’m sorry you’ve been misinformed ma’am but *again level sets on replacement policy.*
SLD’s note: If the tech on the previous repair case told her that it was a classic case of “let’s just tell the customer anything to shut her up and get her off the phone.” Or more likely the SC is just full of it.
SC: Well once again you are telling me something different than what was previous told to me, and I’m not happy.
Now on to the parts we use. This customer was goading me into admitting we use faulty parts, which of course would be an instant failed audit:
SC: Why are we having this issue again anyway, are you using bad parts?
Me: No.
SC: Well it appears you are, otherwise why would they fail after two weeks!
Me: Ma’am like anything electronic things can fail.
SC: Yeah um ok sure!
Now for the part of sending out an agent. Our system is optimized-randomized (to prevent over-booking), which means the agent shown may not be the one actually showing up to do the work. As such, we cannot give the names out:
SC: And who’s the agent’s name?
Me: I can’t give that out, *gives spiel on how our database is set up.*
SC: Well, the other 2 techs did!
Me: If they did, they weren’t supposed to.
SC: So you’re just going to send a stranger to my house?
Me: He’s going to call you in the morning. It’s not like he’s going to just show up.
SC: This is unbelievable!
Now for the SC’s final words:
SC: I can’t believe you treated me this way! I’m a senior citizen, you should be ashamed of yourself!
Me: I’m sorry but I was merely following policy.
SC: Yeah well your policies are different than everybody else’s I have talked to!
Me: Our policies are uniform across the board.
SC: No! You made my life hell for 40 minutes, I’m going to call and report you, I swear I am!
Me: *Gives case number.* Thanks for calling (company), have a great day!
SC: *click.*
You're doing the right thing!
I AM the evil bastard!
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