The Woes of Wireless

[Blade_Raver]

A call I took tonight:

ME: Blade_Raver
SC: Sucky Caller

ME: (spiel)
SC: I can't get my company laptop to connect to my wireless network.

So far, not sucky.

I troubleshoot accordingly. Checked wireless indicator light on the laptop, shut off the company's proprietary wireless software, enabled windows wireless configuration, scanned for wireless networks - none shown.

And here's where the suck starts to happen.

ME: It's either the router or the laptop's wireless adapter.
SC: It's not my router.
ME: Do you have anything at home that also uses the wireless router?
SC: My computers and my PS3.
ME: All of them connect wirelessly?
SC: No, just the PS3.
ME: The computers are hard wired into the router, I take it?
SC: (with a 'duh' voice) Yeah.
ME: Okay. Could be a router configuration issue. Can you get into the configuration page of your router?
SC: How do I do that?
ME: Go to one of your other computers....
SC: (Cuts me off) This is bullshit. It's not the router. You need to find a way to fix this.
ME: Okay, if it's not the router, then it's a defective wireless adapter on the laptop. (Manufacturer) will need to replace the motherboard on the laptop. The company pays them to resolve it within 72 hours.
SC: This is unacceptable. I need this laptop working right now so I can get work done.
ME: I tried to troubleshoot the router just in case it wasn't the laptop, and you've refused to cooperate with me. You left me no other choice than to call it in to the manufacturer.
SC: Fine, whatever.
ME: What address will the tech need to go to in order to fix the laptop?
SC: Region X office.
ME: What's their address?
SC: I don't know.
ME: In order for (manufacturer) to create a ticket, there needs to be a service address for that tech to go to in order to show up and fix it.
SC: (grumble grumble) Hold on.

He put the phone down, I hear him cussing up a storm and saying a few derogatory things about me in the background. After a few minutes he gets back.

SC: (Rattling it off really freaking fast) xxx north blahlblahblah express blah drive suite xxxx, (city) (state)
ME: Okay, I'm typing this into our system, I didn't catch it all. xxx north blahblahblah express blah drive... Suite?
SC: Suite xxxx.
ME: (city) (state) and the zip code?
SC: (zip code)
ME: Just in case the tech needs to call you, what's the best # to reach you at?
SC: (gives phone number without area code)
ME: And the area code?
SC: (gives area code)
ME: Okay, I'll go call it into (manufacturer). Thank you.
SC: So what am I supposed to do now?
ME: Hardwire the laptop into your router or wait for them to fix it.
SC: Is it going to get fixed tonight?
ME: At 10pm on a Friday night? I don't think so. Knowing them, I'd say they'll start the next business day.
SC: This is unacceptable! I NEED THIS NOW!
ME: There's nothing I can do. The company paid (manufacturer) for a 72 hour resolution for that laptop. With the current company cost cutting that's going on, you're lucky that the laptop is even covered. About 85% of the company laptops were dropped from their service contracts back on June 30th.
SC: Whatever, thanks, bye. (click)

I called up manufacturer and put in a service ticket for it.

[tropicsgoddess]

Blade, I know your pain. Idiots like him that demand their computer be fixed now and think that it can be done with the flick of a wrist like some magic computer fairy.

[Blade_Raver]

Thank you.

[Soulstealer]

So any bets that it was actually the router?

[Blade_Raver]

It's one of three things:

1) He really didn't have his wireless indicator light lit on the laptop. (He did answer me "yes" very hastily after I asked him if it was or not. Dealing with the department this guy is in, that's #1 indicator of a lie.)

2) Possible MAC filtering was enabled on his router and it may have required putting in the MAC address of his network card to let it through.

3) It really is the wireless adapter that's on the motherboard.

So.. either his idiocy, his impatience, or just a flat out defective piece of hardware has prevented him from achieving the (sarcastically) ever so business critical function of connecting to the company VPN to deal with his department's crap.

May it also be said that the department this guy is in has absolutely NOTHING to do with the creation or mass transport of company product. He had no right to call the helpdesk during afterhours. Period.

[tropicsgoddess]

It's one of three things:

1) He really didn't have his wireless indicator light lit on the laptop. (He did answer me "yes" very hastily after I asked him if it was or not. Dealing with the department this guy is in, that's #1 indicator of a lie.)

2) Possible MAC filtering was enabled on his router and it may have required putting in the MAC address of his network card to let it through.

3) It really is the wireless adapter that's on the motherboard.

So.. either his idiocy, his impatience, or just a flat out defective piece of hardware has prevented him from achieving the (sarcastically) ever so business critical function of connecting to the company VPN to deal with his department's crap.

May it also be said that the department this guy is in has absolutely NOTHING to do with the creation or mass transport of company product. He had no right to call the helpdesk during afterhours. Period.

Those are the same dumbasses that complain about how tech support was of no help because they're too stupid to stop their incessant blathering and just STFU and listen to instructions. What really grinds my gears is how the SC's that like to play the armchair technician route and waste valuable time arguing with me over something they have not a damn clue about. Just close your mouth and open your freakin' ears, that simple!

[Blade_Raver]

You're absolutely right, Tropicsgoddess.

By the way, thank you for the friend request.

[tropicsgoddess]

You're absolutely right, Tropicsgoddess.

By the way, thank you for the friend request.

You're very welcome!

[Magister Quis]

<Possible problem list>

My guess:
He was attempting to connect to a neighbor's network.

Besides, why's he working at 10pm on a Friday?

[bsaana]

My guess:
He was attempting to connect to a neighbor's network.

Besides, why's he working at 10pm on a Friday?

Can't say on him, but for me it could be that I am based at home and have a very flexible schedule. I also use after hours time to connect remotely to verify certain problems, check settings, and view logs - mostly because the users at all the sites moan and groan if they can't use the system and someone that came in has to wait a minute or two.

[Samaliel]

May it also be said that the department this guy is in has absolutely NOTHING to do with the creation or mass transport of company product. He had no right to call the helpdesk during afterhours. Period.

You've mentioned that in another post, and I want to be sure I understand this right:
- per company policy, they're not supposed to call the after-hours help desk if their task isn't business critical and regarding either creation or mass transport of the company's product;
- but, as per the same company policy, you have to deal with whatever idiot not fitting in the aforementioned business critical scenario, right there and then,

What kind of crap policy is that? If you have to take every and any call, no matter what, there's not much point in forbidding some of them to call, since they will get away with it any way...

I'm willing to bet pennies to bucks that the problem was his router configuration.

[Captain Trips]

Don't you just love those users who are too dumb to troubleshoot themselves, yet are so certain that it isn't the <insert type of equipment here>? Like, how would they know?

These are the ones who, after I fix the problem, ask "what caused that to happen?" As if they would understand the answer? (I once told the user, "Well, it seems the ODN conduits got stuck in the oscillating Framistat mode." Her response to this Trek-related doubletalk? "Oh, I see. That does make sense.")

[technical.angel]

Isn't there a web site that generates tech talk excuses like that?

[EricKei]

I'm going to need half a dozen Niad Pulse Converters and an Anza Brush...

Or am I bluffing?

[Bandit]

Isn't there a web site that generates tech talk excuses like that?

THIS is one of many. Do a search on BOFH Excuse Generator.

It's a handy tool to have when dealing with the turnips we call users.

B