Funny Spam Subject Lines

[BeeMused]

Today in our breakroom

Male coworker to me: Do you think I need bigger boobs?
Me: Wait? What?
Mcw: Well yeah... I got this email: You need bigger boobs!
Me:

He showed me the email, the subject line was indeed: You need bigger boobs! Inside was just a link to a spammy site.
Bonus: The coworker is very thin.

[MoonCat]

Today in our breakroom

Male coworker to me: Do you think I need bigger boobs?
Me: Wait? What?
Mcw: Well yeah... I got this email: You need bigger boobs!
Me:

He showed me the email, the subject line was indeed: You need bigger boobs! Inside was just a link to a spammy site.
Bonus: The coworker is very thin.

Yeah, that's the equivalent of the one that says I need to enlarge my, er...appendage that I don't actually have...

[Daemonmonkey]

And I want to pass this opportunity to all of you:

ATM Card Number: (1234567891234567)From: MRS JOAN OKAFOR <efcc----glod2@%%%.net>
To:


Dear Friend,



We the members of financial accounting are very pleased to inform you that (ATM Card Number:1234567891234567 ) and the Security pin has been credited in your favor, your personal Identification Number is 822 which you have to forward to our agent for identification. The ATM Card value is $1.2 MILLION USD.



Kindly note that this is legit and any act like this is very appreciated and will be well honoured, You are adviced to contact our delivery company for the delivery of your ATM CARD to you.


Company : FEDEX COURIER COMPANY LAGOS NIGERIA
Contact Person : Mr. John Gunkel
Email : mrjohngunkel@%.cn
Telephone Number: +234 1234567891

Below are the vital informations of yours needed for the delivery of your ATM
CARD to you.


FULL NAME:...................
DELIVERY: ADDRESS:.............
PHONE NUMBER:................
COUNTRY:....................
OCCUPATION:.................
SEX:.......................
AGE:......................


Below is your ATM CARD information.

ATM Card Number: (1234567891234567)
Security Pin Code : 7546
Withdrawal per day : $20.000.00


Note that you have to keep your ATM CARD information secret to avoid diverting/stealing of your money because we registered your ATM CARD as a parcel.

Yours faithfully,

Thank's and god bless you.
MRS JOAN OKAFOR

=============
(I have removed the numbers and domains just in case we have a reader that might fall for this scam)

[Geek King]

I got one that's kind of sneaky recently: United Parcel Service notification

If you were not familiar with how UPS works, this one looks surprisingly reasonable. There is a document attached that the email tells you contains your tracking code. The main purpose of it seems to be to get you to open the attachment that comes with, which I didn't, so I can't vouch for what it actually does. I will note the spelling is on, and the email itself looks good, unless you know what UPS correspondence looks like (I do a bit of shipping myself, so I've seen the real deal). Oh, one more thing: UPS calls itself UPS when dealing with customers. Yeesh.

The two big tells in this one:

1) UPS does not email you directly (unless maybe you're working with someone about an issue with a shipment). You get the package info from the shipper, then look it up on their website. To knowledge, UPS will never initiate the first email with you. When UPS does use a tracking number in an email, they put it right in the email. No opening an attachment needed.

2) The cc: line had dozens of other email addresses in it. Yup, apparently lots of other people with yahoo and hotmail addresses need to know about my shipment.

[mattm04]

I got one that's kind of sneaky recently: United Parcel Service notification

If you were not familiar with how UPS works, this one looks surprisingly reasonable. There is a document attached that the email tells you contains your tracking code. The main purpose of it seems to be to get you to open the attachment that comes with, which I didn't, so I can't vouch for what it actually does. I will note the spelling is on, and the email itself looks good, unless you know what UPS correspondence looks like (I do a bit of shipping myself, so I've seen the real deal). Oh, one more thing: UPS calls itself UPS when dealing with customers. Yeesh.

The two big tells in this one:

1) UPS does not email you directly (unless maybe you're working with someone about an issue with a shipment). You get the package info from the shipper, then look it up on their website. To knowledge, UPS will never initiate the first email with you. When UPS does use a tracking number in an email, they put it right in the email. No opening an attachment needed.

2) The cc: line had dozens of other email addresses in it. Yup, apparently lots of other people with yahoo and hotmail addresses need to know about my shipment.

If you ship via the UPS store, you can give them your email and they send you a confirmation with the tracking number link to their website. That's the only other instance of a legit UPS email I can think of.

[Daemonmonkey]

There is a document attached that the email tells you contains your tracking code. The main purpose of it seems to be to get you to open the attachment that comes with, which I didn't, so I can't vouch for what it actually does.

The main purpose with that "document" is to infect your computer with virus, trojans or remote control malware.

[KabeRinnaul]

Okay, this one isn't actually spam, though I thought it was at first when I saw the title.

Which was, "THESE DEALS ARE TOTALLY LEGIT"

...which turned out to be my Gamestop Rewards mailer.

...way to choose the least trustworthy email subject line ever, Gamestop.

[AlleyCat]

"Free Medicare, guaranteed"

mmmm .... I am Canadian.

Viagra and Cialis offers. Even my girlfriend gets penis enlargement offers, in her emails.

[Shalom]

Looking through the spamtrap today; most of the ones that aren't in some foreign language (so far Russian, Spanish, German, Japanese, and something that doesn't even display) are for counterfeit watches and penis pills. Some of the latter are amusing:

"Add new spark into your lovemaking!"
"Always rock-like shaft" (I can't think that would be too comfortable for my wife, not to mention it'll make holes in my Fruit Of The Looms)
"ATTENTION TO THE OWNER OF THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS!!!" (prob. 419)
"Become extra-stiff down there" (4 copies)
"Become her megalover"
"Best for wang augmentation" (I thought Wang was a computer manufacturer)
"Best for your nimrod" (Nimrod was the founder of the nation of Assyria, and a grandson of Noah. What he has to do with my wang I have no idea)
"Best manhood augmentors" (3 copies)
"Boost your carnal spire" (Who sits around thinking up all these euphemisms for penis?)
"Bring intensity to your acts" (That one's too vague to mean anything at all)
"Dear Concern." (This one's interesting. The alleged sender is "Queen Elizabeth's Foundation United Kingdom", so why's the addy end in dongthap.gov.vn?)
"Desire to act like a porn-director? Nail a greatmed!" (What makes you think the directors are as well endowed as the performers??)
"Dleivery [sic] Noitfication [sic] Parcel" (if you're gonna phish, at least learn to spell, dude)
"Energetic for fornication" (doubt half their intended audience will know what the fornicate that word means)
"Enough suffering, start banging"
"Feel the amatory impulse"
"Free your manliness" (but not for free)
"Get it up in your pants" (I thought the idea was to get it out of your pants?)
"Girls remain dry with you?" (OK, gotta give that one points for ingenuity, but the answer's No in any case)
"Give her sweet spasms of love"
"herbal Man_Snake growth" (sender was "Enhance_Your_Man~Pole"; someone's got an overactive imagination here)
"Make Women want your ~Man Snake~"
"The Most Important Papers Will Be On Your Desk!" (11 copies, must be real important eh?)
"Your willie will stay rock-like" (thanks, flesh works better. and "willie"? WTF, are you in second grade?)

Then of course the usual phishing attempts from Facebook, DHL, and "Post Express", lotto winnings, etc.

[Difdi]

This isn't recent (nor was it actually spam), but I used to be on a mailing list for memos and updates relating to Volunteers of America's residential assistance division. My spam filter caught every single mailing they ever sent out, because they insisted on always putting "VoA GRO" in every subject line.

[Rapscallion]

Do you need a helping hand this Christmas Period?

We're thinking a temporal rift may be in operation.

Rapscallion

[phoenixv07]

"Update your amorous software."

Amorous software? That's how computers get viruses these days.

[Rapscallion]

"Cockzilla!"

One of the best I've seen, actually.

Rapscallion

[Cookie]

"pump pump boom she likes it like that"

They're getting more creative

[DGoddessChardonnay]

"Cockzilla!"

One of the best I've seen, actually.

Rapscallion

I've gotten one that had that word in the title . . .

Try having these two in the same spam folder:

Get your hard long one today

The real truth about Susan . . .

These sound like good titles for porn films if you ask me.