So at my current job, I rarely have anything snarl-worthy, but every now and then....oy. This might have been the closest I've gome to actually telling a customer to STFU in a long, long time. The coworker in the cube next to me actually stood up and looked over the wall with a raised brow because of the tone that was creeping into my voice:
RC: Ranty Customer
Me: Well, you know.
So this individual calls in with a system down issue. I take 2-3 minutes recapping everything, making sure the outsourcer that handed the case to me got all the contact information right and so on, and then inform RC that I'm going to call the engineering team to hunt someone down, and that I'll be back in 5 minutes, with or without an engineer. I call the team, and surprise, surprise, noone picks up in 5 minutes (its around 5am Pacific, so, yeah, color me surprised). I return and explain:
Me: I wasn't able to get anyone to answer with that team, so if you'll hold on with me f...
RC: (Interrupts) I can't believe this, we pay all this money and you don't have someone immediately available? If I called Cisco or Oracle or IBM, they'd have someone ready the moment I called. I..
Me: (trying to get a word in edgewise) Sir, I have a Duty Manager who can ch...
RC (interrupts again...More rantiness about how we are so slow to respond, how dare we consider ourselves a first class support center...)
While this is going on, I just decided to let him rant and pinged the Duty Manager over our messenger app. They found an engineer, assigned the case, and was actually dialing the customer's number while this guy is STILL griping in my ear.
The line clicks, indicating call waiting on his phone.
Me: SIR! (he finally pauses for breath) I think you'll see that that is our engineer on the other line. Will you check real quick?
He says nothing, clicks over, and hangs up on me.
I checked with the engineer over the messenger app:
Me: Hey. Just checking, do you have RC on the phone with you right now?
Engineer: Yep.
Me: Oh good. Cause he hung up on me.
Engineer: That's what I thought.
Seriously. 5 minutes. I understand that your world is falling apart on you, but..
FIVE FRIKKIN MINUTES.
When the promised response time for what he paid for is one hour.
RC: Ranty Customer
Me: Well, you know.
So this individual calls in with a system down issue. I take 2-3 minutes recapping everything, making sure the outsourcer that handed the case to me got all the contact information right and so on, and then inform RC that I'm going to call the engineering team to hunt someone down, and that I'll be back in 5 minutes, with or without an engineer. I call the team, and surprise, surprise, noone picks up in 5 minutes (its around 5am Pacific, so, yeah, color me surprised). I return and explain:
Me: I wasn't able to get anyone to answer with that team, so if you'll hold on with me f...
RC: (Interrupts) I can't believe this, we pay all this money and you don't have someone immediately available? If I called Cisco or Oracle or IBM, they'd have someone ready the moment I called. I..
Me: (trying to get a word in edgewise) Sir, I have a Duty Manager who can ch...
RC (interrupts again...More rantiness about how we are so slow to respond, how dare we consider ourselves a first class support center...)
While this is going on, I just decided to let him rant and pinged the Duty Manager over our messenger app. They found an engineer, assigned the case, and was actually dialing the customer's number while this guy is STILL griping in my ear.
The line clicks, indicating call waiting on his phone.
Me: SIR! (he finally pauses for breath) I think you'll see that that is our engineer on the other line. Will you check real quick?
He says nothing, clicks over, and hangs up on me.
I checked with the engineer over the messenger app:
Me: Hey. Just checking, do you have RC on the phone with you right now?
Engineer: Yep.
Me: Oh good. Cause he hung up on me.
Engineer: That's what I thought.
Seriously. 5 minutes. I understand that your world is falling apart on you, but..
FIVE FRIKKIN MINUTES.
When the promised response time for what he paid for is one hour.


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