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  • #1

    We Don't Support That

    A call that truly was unsupportable.

    This was late in the day, about six o'clock or so.

    Luser calls in stating she's got a "somewhat personal question," which at first makes me a bit nervous about what kind of question this will be. But it turns out that she's having a problem with her AOL mail (Warning! Warning!) on her laptop at home (Alert! Alert!), and it keeps making it shut down and she wanted to know if we could help with that.

    J2K: "No, ma'am, we cannot assist you with non-Client systems."
    Luser: "But I just wanted to know if you thought it could be a virus or something--"
    J2K: "We can't help you if it's on a non-Client system."
    Luser: "I just-- if it's a virus, I don't want to try to open my AOL mail from here at The Client..."
    J2K: "I understand, ma'am, but again, I cannot offer any assistance on this."

    She seemed to get this and hung up, and she may very well have a virus or something on her home computer. But if you suspect a virus, run your virus-scan! And especially don't try accessing your mail from The Client if you worry there's a virus on it.

    Mind you, if she had done so, and gotten a virus onto a Client system, we could have given her some help. It would have been to call our Intrusion Team to report it, and she likely would have had to pack up her things in preparation of being dismissed, but it would have been some assistance.

    We are not free tech support for your home computer issues.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Ugh, the SC's are the worst with non-supported stuff. There's reasons's that shit's not supported so either get your techie person or cough up the dough to get it fixed!
    I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
    Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
    Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

    Comment

    • #3
      I wonder if (l)users ever understand just how frequently IT loves to hear the terms "home computer" or "personal computer" when dealing with an open ticket. The standard response to those terms is:

      1) See if machine is on the network (not too difficult, the machine is usually named something not in line with company standards)

      2a) If not, jump to step 6.
      2b) If so, disconnect the computer from the network.

      3) Prevent system from ever connecting to the network again.

      4) Run network wide virus sweep procedures.

      5) When blame comes in from higher up, point directly to (l)user.

      6) Detail (l)user's ineptitude in ticket and close ticket.
      I AM the evil bastard!
      A+ Certified IT Technician

      Comment

      • #4
        Quoth lordlundar View Post
        I wonder if (l)users ever understand just how frequently IT loves to hear the terms "home computer" or "personal computer" when dealing with an open ticket. The standard response to those terms is:

        1) See if machine is on the network (not too difficult, the machine is usually named something not in line with company standards)

        2a) If not, jump to step 6.
        2b) If so, disconnect the computer from the network.

        3) Prevent system from ever connecting to the network again.
        For repeat offenders, does step 3 involve a hardware "upgrade" to the offending machine?
        Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth wolfie View Post
          For repeat offenders, does step 3 involve a hardware "upgrade" to the offending machine?
          ...And by "upgrade", I take it you mean "ten minutes with a sledgehammer" ?
          "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
          "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
          "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
          "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
          "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
          "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
          Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
          "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

          Comment

          • #6
            Just tell them to type "I C U P." That'll be cool.

            Heh heh.
            Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

            "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

            Comment

            • #7
              Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
              Just tell them to type "I C U P." That'll be cool.

              Heh heh.
              I see someone has been watching Bevis and Butthead.
              I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
              -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

              "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

              Comment

              • #8
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                Just tell them to type "I C U P." That'll be cool.

                Heh heh.
                An iCup? Is that the new fruitAPPLiance for when it's too far to the can?
                I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                  I see someone has been watching Bevis and Butthead.
                  I am just so chuffed it's back on the air with new episodes.

                  It's my Must See TV. It takes me back to high school when I was young and stupid. As opposed to now, where I'm just stupid.
                  Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                  "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    I need to check the show out now that the boys are back. It's my understanding that they're now allowed to use the F word again. Specifically, the one related to matches and lighters.
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Quoth EricKei View Post
                      I need to check the show out now that the boys are back. It's my understanding that they're now allowed to use the F word again. Specifically, the one related to matches and lighters.
                      /threadjack
                      they are allowed to use the F(ire) word this time around. it was used in the last episode with the Tech Support-- something along the line of "do you have any matches???? FIRE FIRE fire is good"

                      I am soooo waiting for the first Cornholeo episode with the TP cult

                      /end threadjack
                      I'm lost without a paddle and headed up SH*T creek.
                      -- Life Sucks Then You Die.

                      "I'll believe corp. are people when Texas executes one."

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        UUURRRGGGG!!!!

                        Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
                        A call that truly was unsupportable.

                        ........

                        J2K: "No, ma'am, we cannot assist you with non-Client systems."
                        Luser: "But I just wanted to know if you thought it could be a virus or something--"
                        J2K: "We can't help you if it's on a non-Client system."
                        Luser: "I just-- if it's a virus, I don't want to try to open my AOL mail from here at The Client..."
                        J2K: "I understand, ma'am, but again, I cannot offer any assistance on this."

                        ...........

                        We are not free tech support for your home computer issues.
                        What I really dislike about people such as above, if you give them ***ANY*** advice they will:

                        A) Never do what you told the to do, they will warp it into something totally diffirent and then ...

                        B) Blame you for ***ALL*** problems that follow, including any problems with a new machine that they bought later after destroying the first one.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          I handle questions about personal systems with a tried-and-true system:

                          1) Do I have time?

                          2) Advice is free.

                          3) It's $75/hour, plus parts cost if you want me to do the work. Also tradeable in home cooked meals. If I don't fix it, you only pay for any parts I had to buy. Funny, but no one has ever taken me up on this one, except family and friends.
                          The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                          "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                          Hoc spatio locantur.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                            /threadjack
                            they are allowed to use the F(ire) word this time around. it was used in the last episode with the Tech Support-- something along the line of "do you have any matches???? FIRE FIRE fire is good"

                            I am soooo waiting for the first Cornholeo episode with the TP cult

                            /end threadjack
                            Not meaning to threadjack, but I'm watching that ep now on the DVR.

                            For those who've not yet seen it, it's HILARIOUS. But then I was literally RITFLMAO with last week's tech support one.
                            Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth Racket_Man View Post
                              I am soooo waiting for the first Cornholeo episode with the TP cult
                              I loved the ending to that one. Stuart scores before Beavis and Butthead ever do.<---highlight for spoiler
                              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

                              Comment

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