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I'm sure those of you who are even remotely affiliated with or knowledgeable in computers have been asked this from friends and family, and dread it as well. As a software engineer I'm asked this question a lot, and I was recently asked this by my neighbor.
My neighbor is among the only 30-somethings I know who has, until now, never owned a computer. Most of the folks I know who haven't owned a computer in their lives in this time and age are usually at least in their 60s, and anyone younger at least has an old hand-me-down laptop, or heck even a smartphone might suffice. This luddite has never used a computer, except on his job in a Gravekeeper-like position which, in his words, "Doesn't have pictures or anything like these new computers do" (hmm, perhaps I could get him to share some of his stories here?) In other words, he only recently saw a start menu for the first time in his life.
So, he came to my place exasperated. He had just bought his computer, and doesn't know how to use it. Giving someone a crash course in computers wasn't on my list of fun things to do this weekend, but being the good neighbor I am, I decided to help him out. Back in the 1950s, helping a neighbor usually involved borrowing a stick of butter or providing a pinch of salt. Nowadays, it's setting up their network printer to use a wifi connection. I asked him some simple details on his computer, where he bought it, what brand it was... fortunately on these details he at least knew what he bought, unlike many other newbies I've dealt with.
He bought a Dell, bundled with Windows 7. I was surprised when he told me he had to install Windows 7.
Me: "Really? I'd think it'd come pre-installed."
Him: "Well, I think it was, but I messed something up and had to reinstall it."
Me: "Um, ok."
He said he was stuck on a certain step, and wasn't sure how to proceed. I came into his office and saw a single dialog box on the screen: It was the very first step in the installation process: The terms and conditions, with two buttons: "Agree" and "Disagree"
Him: "I just don't know what to do! I've been trying to figure this out for half an hour!"
Me: "Well, this is just the terms and conditions, think of it like a really long version of that FBI warning you get in the beginning of movies. You just agree that you will not redistribute Windows 7 to other people, and that you will use the computer for lawful purposes, that sort of thing."
Him: "Oh, is that what all that gobble-de-gook says?"
I proceed to continue to help him out with his installation. As the bulk of the installation was progressing, I asked him what he was planning on using his computer for.
Him: "Well, I've decided to start a business in designing shirts. I'm going to hook up a T-Shirt printer to this baby and am going to sell them on the Internets."
Me: "Well, I mean, I don't think this computer is quite designed for that kind of work, I mean, you'd really need to have a manufacturing plant with industrial-grade machines to sell shirts like that."
Him: "Oh, well, maybe later on I'll do that, until then, see this?" [holds up sheets of those cheap T-Shirt printing cards that you might buy at a crafts store] "All you need is a printer like this one I bought, and you're in business!"
Me: "Well... yeah, but those kinds of things don't last long in the washer, and what program are you planning on using to design these shirts?"
Him: "Have you heard of Photoshop?"
Me: "Yes... it's got quite a learning curve, though. Unfortunately I'm not a big Photoshop expert, so I wouldn't be able to help you with that."
Him: "Oh, yeah, don't worry. I have a graphic designer friend who can show me the ropes."
A few months later I asked him about his business. He told me he's given up on that. He kept his computer, though, and from time to time he asks me to clean up his spyware and crap that every naive computer user inevitably accumulates.
'tis a shame he gave up on the whole shirt thing. It sounds like he was well on his way from working in a Gravekeeper position to providing Gravekeeper with more T-Shirts to sell to crackheads who would absolutely love to order at 3am.
My neighbor is among the only 30-somethings I know who has, until now, never owned a computer. Most of the folks I know who haven't owned a computer in their lives in this time and age are usually at least in their 60s, and anyone younger at least has an old hand-me-down laptop, or heck even a smartphone might suffice. This luddite has never used a computer, except on his job in a Gravekeeper-like position which, in his words, "Doesn't have pictures or anything like these new computers do" (hmm, perhaps I could get him to share some of his stories here?) In other words, he only recently saw a start menu for the first time in his life.
So, he came to my place exasperated. He had just bought his computer, and doesn't know how to use it. Giving someone a crash course in computers wasn't on my list of fun things to do this weekend, but being the good neighbor I am, I decided to help him out. Back in the 1950s, helping a neighbor usually involved borrowing a stick of butter or providing a pinch of salt. Nowadays, it's setting up their network printer to use a wifi connection. I asked him some simple details on his computer, where he bought it, what brand it was... fortunately on these details he at least knew what he bought, unlike many other newbies I've dealt with.
He bought a Dell, bundled with Windows 7. I was surprised when he told me he had to install Windows 7.
Me: "Really? I'd think it'd come pre-installed."
Him: "Well, I think it was, but I messed something up and had to reinstall it."
Me: "Um, ok."
He said he was stuck on a certain step, and wasn't sure how to proceed. I came into his office and saw a single dialog box on the screen: It was the very first step in the installation process: The terms and conditions, with two buttons: "Agree" and "Disagree"
Him: "I just don't know what to do! I've been trying to figure this out for half an hour!"
Me: "Well, this is just the terms and conditions, think of it like a really long version of that FBI warning you get in the beginning of movies. You just agree that you will not redistribute Windows 7 to other people, and that you will use the computer for lawful purposes, that sort of thing."
Him: "Oh, is that what all that gobble-de-gook says?"
I proceed to continue to help him out with his installation. As the bulk of the installation was progressing, I asked him what he was planning on using his computer for.
Him: "Well, I've decided to start a business in designing shirts. I'm going to hook up a T-Shirt printer to this baby and am going to sell them on the Internets."
Me: "Well, I mean, I don't think this computer is quite designed for that kind of work, I mean, you'd really need to have a manufacturing plant with industrial-grade machines to sell shirts like that."
Him: "Oh, well, maybe later on I'll do that, until then, see this?" [holds up sheets of those cheap T-Shirt printing cards that you might buy at a crafts store] "All you need is a printer like this one I bought, and you're in business!"
Me: "Well... yeah, but those kinds of things don't last long in the washer, and what program are you planning on using to design these shirts?"
Him: "Have you heard of Photoshop?"
Me: "Yes... it's got quite a learning curve, though. Unfortunately I'm not a big Photoshop expert, so I wouldn't be able to help you with that."
Him: "Oh, yeah, don't worry. I have a graphic designer friend who can show me the ropes."
A few months later I asked him about his business. He told me he's given up on that. He kept his computer, though, and from time to time he asks me to clean up his spyware and crap that every naive computer user inevitably accumulates.
'tis a shame he gave up on the whole shirt thing. It sounds like he was well on his way from working in a Gravekeeper position to providing Gravekeeper with more T-Shirts to sell to crackheads who would absolutely love to order at 3am.
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