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I work for an ISP now. In my department, the general rule is that if everything shows up OK in our system but the customer cannot get online, you have the customer power cycle the modem and if that doesn't fix the issue you begin to look into whether the issue is with the computer.
The players:
SLD: Me
SC: The big bad IT manager
SCM: The mom
This woman could not get online. I had her power cycle, and that didn't fix it. I had her look in command prompt and bring up IPCONFIG - sure enough, the computer had an IP address that began in 169. For the non-techies, this basically is the computer saying, "I can't communicate with the outside network device either because my NIC is bad, the NIC driver is corrupted or my operating system is hosed so I'll put this bogus IP address in here to make myself look good."
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but at this time a 169 IP means a computer issue. *Gives the non-techie explanation."
SCM: So what do you suggest I do?
Me: Since our premium pay-for-support line can't help as you cannot get online, your two choices are to call the manufacturer, or bring to a repair center.
SCM: Hang on, I'll let you talk to my son....
I could hear him in the background getting ready to come at me with guns blazing....
SC: There is no way in hell my mom is doing either of this things. Your modem is defective and it needs to be replaced.
Me: Actually sir, a 169 IP means....
SC: I'm an IT manager for a financial services company. I know what a 169 IP is, and it means your modem is defective.
It was clear that he though I was a know-nothing peon that was probably reading from a script. Well, a peon but certainly not a know-nothing.
Me: Whenever a 169 IP is shown while there is a very slim chance it's a modem 99% of the time it means that either the NIC is bad or there is something wrong with the operating system.
SC: At this point it's clear that either you don't know what you're doing or you're trying to brush me off.....
Me: I'm trying to help, but as it's a 169 IP per rules we have to treat it as an issue with the computer not with our equipment. The only other thing I can try is a winsock reset....
SC: A WINSOCK RESET WILL NOT FIX THE ISSUE! IT'S AN ISSUE WITH YOUR GODDAMN MODEM!
Me: Okay sir, there is one other thing I can try to prove to you that this is an issue with your computer....
SC: And what is THAT?
Me: Do you have another modem or router?
SC: Um yeah. I have an older modem and a Link-ski router that I have before my mother upgraded to this all in one unit. It should still work....
A real IT manager would not pronounce a Linksys router, "link-ski." That is all.
I proceeded to have him wire the Linksys router up to his computer just by itself, and he rebooted the computer without telling me. As expected, the computer gave a 169 IP.
Me: Sir, the computer is giving a 169 IP on both network devices, the modem and the router. It's definitely a computer issue.
SC: Of course it’s going to give a 169 IP, the router you had me hook up is not connected to the internet! I don’t think you know what you’re doing.
Me: While it is true that the router is not connected to the internet it would still give the computer its own IP which would begin in 192. You have a computer issue sir and I don’t really know how else to say it.
SC: Well either you just want to brush me off, or you’re just a moron.
Me: Sir I’m trying to help you sir. Please keep this call professional and stop hurling insults.
SC: WHAT?! I WANT TO TALK TO A MANAGER! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO A CUSTOMER LIKE THAT!
Me: You are being abusive, sir....
SC: I am under no obligation to be civil to you. You, on the other hand need to be civil to me. NOW GET ME YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER!
Me: Sure, please hold....
Since my direct supervisor was busy I enlisted another sup. Since we have to transfer calls to sups, I can’t listen in but I did get to hear his side...
“Sir I understand your frustration with your problem, but SLD is one of my better techs and he verified that your issue is with your computer not our equipment…. Okay first off I’m not going to fire him for defending himself…. My technicians have the right to defend themselves when customers get abusive, and calling him a ‘moron’ is abusive…. Sir your job title and salary level has nothing to do with treating my technicians with respect…. Okay sir now you’re insulting me, I urge you to quit it or I’m going to release you…. Sir as SLD already verified that it’s a computer issue we cannot replace the modem…. You’re more than welcome to bring the computer to somewhere else that has a working internet connection but if it’s giving a 169 IP here it’ll give a 169 IP there….. Okay sir since you’re now spouting off lawyers and legal action I can’t continue with this call…. Sir I’m not here to listen to choice of foul language, one more time and….. that’s it, thanks for calling....
*Click.*
I asked him what he said. Basically he wanted me fired for “being disrespectful” and that “he makes in a week what our so called script readers make in a month and a half in his high-level position” and “he doesn’t have to kiss our ass” and he called the supervisor an “idiot” for backing me up. He finally relented and said he’ll bring the computer somewhere but if works just fine there he’s going to proceed with legal action. Per rules once a customer “lawyers up” we can no longer talk to them, that’s when the customer started dropping f-bombs and wouldn’t stop, that’s when the supervisor hung up on him.
The players:
SLD: Me
SC: The big bad IT manager
SCM: The mom
This woman could not get online. I had her power cycle, and that didn't fix it. I had her look in command prompt and bring up IPCONFIG - sure enough, the computer had an IP address that began in 169. For the non-techies, this basically is the computer saying, "I can't communicate with the outside network device either because my NIC is bad, the NIC driver is corrupted or my operating system is hosed so I'll put this bogus IP address in here to make myself look good."
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, but at this time a 169 IP means a computer issue. *Gives the non-techie explanation."
SCM: So what do you suggest I do?
Me: Since our premium pay-for-support line can't help as you cannot get online, your two choices are to call the manufacturer, or bring to a repair center.
SCM: Hang on, I'll let you talk to my son....
I could hear him in the background getting ready to come at me with guns blazing....
SC: There is no way in hell my mom is doing either of this things. Your modem is defective and it needs to be replaced.
Me: Actually sir, a 169 IP means....
SC: I'm an IT manager for a financial services company. I know what a 169 IP is, and it means your modem is defective.
It was clear that he though I was a know-nothing peon that was probably reading from a script. Well, a peon but certainly not a know-nothing.
Me: Whenever a 169 IP is shown while there is a very slim chance it's a modem 99% of the time it means that either the NIC is bad or there is something wrong with the operating system.
SC: At this point it's clear that either you don't know what you're doing or you're trying to brush me off.....
Me: I'm trying to help, but as it's a 169 IP per rules we have to treat it as an issue with the computer not with our equipment. The only other thing I can try is a winsock reset....
SC: A WINSOCK RESET WILL NOT FIX THE ISSUE! IT'S AN ISSUE WITH YOUR GODDAMN MODEM!
Me: Okay sir, there is one other thing I can try to prove to you that this is an issue with your computer....
SC: And what is THAT?
Me: Do you have another modem or router?
SC: Um yeah. I have an older modem and a Link-ski router that I have before my mother upgraded to this all in one unit. It should still work....
A real IT manager would not pronounce a Linksys router, "link-ski." That is all.
I proceeded to have him wire the Linksys router up to his computer just by itself, and he rebooted the computer without telling me. As expected, the computer gave a 169 IP.
Me: Sir, the computer is giving a 169 IP on both network devices, the modem and the router. It's definitely a computer issue.
SC: Of course it’s going to give a 169 IP, the router you had me hook up is not connected to the internet! I don’t think you know what you’re doing.
Me: While it is true that the router is not connected to the internet it would still give the computer its own IP which would begin in 192. You have a computer issue sir and I don’t really know how else to say it.
SC: Well either you just want to brush me off, or you’re just a moron.
Me: Sir I’m trying to help you sir. Please keep this call professional and stop hurling insults.
SC: WHAT?! I WANT TO TALK TO A MANAGER! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TALK TO A CUSTOMER LIKE THAT!
Me: You are being abusive, sir....
SC: I am under no obligation to be civil to you. You, on the other hand need to be civil to me. NOW GET ME YOUR GOD DAMN MANAGER!
Me: Sure, please hold....
Since my direct supervisor was busy I enlisted another sup. Since we have to transfer calls to sups, I can’t listen in but I did get to hear his side...
“Sir I understand your frustration with your problem, but SLD is one of my better techs and he verified that your issue is with your computer not our equipment…. Okay first off I’m not going to fire him for defending himself…. My technicians have the right to defend themselves when customers get abusive, and calling him a ‘moron’ is abusive…. Sir your job title and salary level has nothing to do with treating my technicians with respect…. Okay sir now you’re insulting me, I urge you to quit it or I’m going to release you…. Sir as SLD already verified that it’s a computer issue we cannot replace the modem…. You’re more than welcome to bring the computer to somewhere else that has a working internet connection but if it’s giving a 169 IP here it’ll give a 169 IP there….. Okay sir since you’re now spouting off lawyers and legal action I can’t continue with this call…. Sir I’m not here to listen to choice of foul language, one more time and….. that’s it, thanks for calling....
*Click.*
I asked him what he said. Basically he wanted me fired for “being disrespectful” and that “he makes in a week what our so called script readers make in a month and a half in his high-level position” and “he doesn’t have to kiss our ass” and he called the supervisor an “idiot” for backing me up. He finally relented and said he’ll bring the computer somewhere but if works just fine there he’s going to proceed with legal action. Per rules once a customer “lawyers up” we can no longer talk to them, that’s when the customer started dropping f-bombs and wouldn’t stop, that’s when the supervisor hung up on him.
If I were you, I'd get the sup to put a note on the lady's account saying her son isn't allowed to talk to your staff, due to his past abuse 
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