Okay had to dig out some old emails I'd sent to the boss to remember all of what happened. I couldn't find any of the old boards cached anywhere, because the majority of my posts are on the last board we had, before the hack here a week or so ago. If anything's out of order, I apologize; I'm going by memory and the emails I did actually save regarding this kid. If anyone has access to cached pages of our old sites, toss me a PM!
So anyway, here goes.
In the beginning...(heh)...a nice mother came in, explaining that her son had wanted a Yellow Box Company phone for some time, so she was going to get him one. Aw, that's nice, right? She selects the cheapest phone, for $25, and a plan, and signs up, pays her deposit, and all is right with the world. Yeah, all demonic tales have innocent beginnings, I think.
Some time later, the son, henceforth known Dimwit calls me claiming his battery to be bad. It happens from time to time, so I tell him to bring the phone in, and we'll swap the battery. He and his mother show up, and he does the battery exchange, AND wants the phone in his name. I explain that I'm not able to do that, but customer care can. His mom just has to call and give his information, and they'll set up an account in his name. He may have a deposit, but once it's paid and everything's set up, they just switch it over to his name and shut off her account. Everything takes about a week.
"That's way too long, and too hard," he declares, and then asks can his mom just call and cancel her account, then I set up one here in his name? I say yeah probably, as long as it's cleared quickly so I can use the phone. If it doesn't clear, it'll probably still take a week. I say several times there's no guarantee that way will be any quicker. Dimwit waves me off, and then tells me to let his mom use my phone to cancel the account. I bristle at this, but let her use the phone. She cancels, we set him up, he doesn't thank me, but she does, and they leave.
A week or so later, he phones and wants to exchange the phone his mother got him because, "it's crap" and he wants a cooler one. I tell him hold on, I have to check and see when it was bought. "Oh no, I signed up just last week, so I have 14 days." I explain that yes, he has 14 days for his CONTRACT, but the phone is 14 days from PURCHASE. "Oh, okay." He says. I look him up. The next day is day # 14, so I say if he wants it exchanged, he'd better bring everything in TOMORROW or no dice. He says okay, then says "It doesn't have the manual with it, I trust that won't be a problem?" I tell him no, there will just be a $25 restocking fee. He blows up. Convo may not be verbatim, but it's as close as I can remember it.
Dimwit: "There was NEVER a manual with it. YOU didn't give us one."
Me: "Yes I did. It was in the box."
Dimwit: "How would you know?"
Me: "When I put the phone together to test it, I had to have the battery. The battery is always UNDER the manuals that come with the phone. Therefore, I had to move them to get to said battery. They were there, your mom took them home with her."
Dimwit: "Well, she gave me EVERYTHING you gave HER and there were NO manuals."
Me: "She might've lost them, but they were there when she left my store. Therefore, I'll have to charge the restocking fee, since I'll have to sell that phone back out at a loss."
Dimwit: "There were NO manuals with that phone. I'm TELLING you."
Me: "Sir, I'm telling YOU. There WERE. I cannot get around this fee."
So anyway, he decides he's gonna look for the manuals, and he'll be in the next day. He shows up, with his mother, and with the phone in the box. As I open it and I'm looking through things, I realize the manual is indeed there. I say "Oh you found the manual." He looks at me oddly and says "No I didn't..." So I hold up the small book with the large lettering that reads "Users Guide i265." He looks at it and goes "Oh THAT'S the manual? I was looking for something that said 'manual' on it." Yeah, he's THAT dumb.
Next battle: We have a rule when taking back phones for refund or exchange, they MUST have LESS THAN 400 minutes on the life timer. More than 400 minutes, and Yellow Box Company considers the phone used, and I cannot sell it out as new again. Basically, I'd take a loss, as YBC would NOT reimburse me for a "used" phone. I pull up the life timer on his phone that he's had for two weeks, and there is 1,300 some-odd minutes on it. I mean, I know it's possible to talk 22 hours in two weeks, but I've never done it. Oh well. I explain how I cannot take the phone back, and all hell breaks loose. He didn't know about the policy, he doesn't care about us losing money, blah blah blah. I phone boss, who realizes that we should have the 400-minute rule printed on the receipt, which is TRUE. So he says to allow the exchange ONLY, no refunds, and I need to explain to Dimwit that whatever he gets today, he CANNOT return or exchange for ANY reason. He'd better like it. So I tell Dimwit this, and he's fine with it. He takes half an hour deciding, before selecting a flip phone. He pays the difference, and leaves. Boss changes wording on our receipts regarding the phone return policy.
OF COURSE that is not the end of it. It wouldn't be a War Story if it were! Dimwit calls, claiming this phone's battery is also acting bad. He shows up, talking about wanting a new one. I say I cannot do that; all I can do is a battery exchange. He takes the exchange, and leaves.
Some time later, he phones with some random, obscure, improvable issues with the phone. Meaning, he cannot prove these issues are happening with the phone, and I cannot prove they are not. Generally, this means he just wants a new phone. I say all I can do is a warranty exchange, but since I'm not a service center, it'd take a week to get the replacement handset to my store from the Boss' store in Kansas City. Dimwit asks how that would work. I tell him: for a $35 swap fee, we'll do the swap through us instead of having to wait on Motorola to send one from them. He pisses about the fee, and asks if it's a new phone. I say no, none of Motorola's warranty handsets are brand-new, but they are like new, refurbished phones. Even the ones that Motorola mails out. He throws a fit about paying $35 for "some broke phone." I say they are not broken, just have minutes on them. They look and act new otherwise. He still throws a fit, since he's only had the phone for "like a month" and it's just not fair. I asked if every customer is treated the same, how is that not fair? He ignores me and continues rant. I tell him I'll ask the Boss if he's willing to waive the fee, as he does that sometimes.
"Oh he'd better," Dimwit exclaims. "I haven't had this phone very long, and that would be the right thing for him to do."
Boss agrees to waive the fee. Next time I talk to Dimwit, he declares that he's calling Motorola because he thinks he deserves a free new phone. I say, "Whatever you want to do. My boss will waive the swap fee, so let me know so I can ask him about bringing one to my store next week, if you decide to go through us." Instead of thanking me for getting the fee waived, he goes "K" and hangs up. Without waiting for me to say good-bye or anything.
At this point, I have a fair amount of dislike for Dimwit. ALL phone calls end that way. If I'm lucky, he says something final, like "Okay" or "All right" before he slams down the phone. Usually after I answer his question, he just hangs up, like I'm not worthy of a "good-bye" or "thank you."
If anyone remembers, I have a friend with cerebral palsy, named Mark. He has a daygirl named Tiffany who comes in the mornings to take care of him. One day, she came in to look at my Yellow Box Company phones. She says her boyfriend's brother has one, and she liked it. I asked him if he got it here, and if he did, what his name was. She says Dimwit’s name. She catches my facial expression before I can hide it.
"Oh don't worry," she says, "the ENTIRE family hates him. He's rude, obnoxious, cruel, and he still lives with his mother, whom he treats like shit." I love it. She asks if he's been giving me shit about the phone. I say yes. She says he never charges it, and always has 3-hour conversations with people, then gets mad if the battery is even slightly off of "full." She suggested he charge the phone once in a while, but he blew up because apparently, these phones should last forever, even with his marathon phone conversations.
Oh this is great. I share my new information with Boss, who thinks it's freaking hilarious.
So anyway, here goes.
In the beginning...(heh)...a nice mother came in, explaining that her son had wanted a Yellow Box Company phone for some time, so she was going to get him one. Aw, that's nice, right? She selects the cheapest phone, for $25, and a plan, and signs up, pays her deposit, and all is right with the world. Yeah, all demonic tales have innocent beginnings, I think.
Some time later, the son, henceforth known Dimwit calls me claiming his battery to be bad. It happens from time to time, so I tell him to bring the phone in, and we'll swap the battery. He and his mother show up, and he does the battery exchange, AND wants the phone in his name. I explain that I'm not able to do that, but customer care can. His mom just has to call and give his information, and they'll set up an account in his name. He may have a deposit, but once it's paid and everything's set up, they just switch it over to his name and shut off her account. Everything takes about a week.
"That's way too long, and too hard," he declares, and then asks can his mom just call and cancel her account, then I set up one here in his name? I say yeah probably, as long as it's cleared quickly so I can use the phone. If it doesn't clear, it'll probably still take a week. I say several times there's no guarantee that way will be any quicker. Dimwit waves me off, and then tells me to let his mom use my phone to cancel the account. I bristle at this, but let her use the phone. She cancels, we set him up, he doesn't thank me, but she does, and they leave.
A week or so later, he phones and wants to exchange the phone his mother got him because, "it's crap" and he wants a cooler one. I tell him hold on, I have to check and see when it was bought. "Oh no, I signed up just last week, so I have 14 days." I explain that yes, he has 14 days for his CONTRACT, but the phone is 14 days from PURCHASE. "Oh, okay." He says. I look him up. The next day is day # 14, so I say if he wants it exchanged, he'd better bring everything in TOMORROW or no dice. He says okay, then says "It doesn't have the manual with it, I trust that won't be a problem?" I tell him no, there will just be a $25 restocking fee. He blows up. Convo may not be verbatim, but it's as close as I can remember it.
Dimwit: "There was NEVER a manual with it. YOU didn't give us one."
Me: "Yes I did. It was in the box."
Dimwit: "How would you know?"
Me: "When I put the phone together to test it, I had to have the battery. The battery is always UNDER the manuals that come with the phone. Therefore, I had to move them to get to said battery. They were there, your mom took them home with her."
Dimwit: "Well, she gave me EVERYTHING you gave HER and there were NO manuals."
Me: "She might've lost them, but they were there when she left my store. Therefore, I'll have to charge the restocking fee, since I'll have to sell that phone back out at a loss."
Dimwit: "There were NO manuals with that phone. I'm TELLING you."
Me: "Sir, I'm telling YOU. There WERE. I cannot get around this fee."
So anyway, he decides he's gonna look for the manuals, and he'll be in the next day. He shows up, with his mother, and with the phone in the box. As I open it and I'm looking through things, I realize the manual is indeed there. I say "Oh you found the manual." He looks at me oddly and says "No I didn't..." So I hold up the small book with the large lettering that reads "Users Guide i265." He looks at it and goes "Oh THAT'S the manual? I was looking for something that said 'manual' on it." Yeah, he's THAT dumb.
Next battle: We have a rule when taking back phones for refund or exchange, they MUST have LESS THAN 400 minutes on the life timer. More than 400 minutes, and Yellow Box Company considers the phone used, and I cannot sell it out as new again. Basically, I'd take a loss, as YBC would NOT reimburse me for a "used" phone. I pull up the life timer on his phone that he's had for two weeks, and there is 1,300 some-odd minutes on it. I mean, I know it's possible to talk 22 hours in two weeks, but I've never done it. Oh well. I explain how I cannot take the phone back, and all hell breaks loose. He didn't know about the policy, he doesn't care about us losing money, blah blah blah. I phone boss, who realizes that we should have the 400-minute rule printed on the receipt, which is TRUE. So he says to allow the exchange ONLY, no refunds, and I need to explain to Dimwit that whatever he gets today, he CANNOT return or exchange for ANY reason. He'd better like it. So I tell Dimwit this, and he's fine with it. He takes half an hour deciding, before selecting a flip phone. He pays the difference, and leaves. Boss changes wording on our receipts regarding the phone return policy.
OF COURSE that is not the end of it. It wouldn't be a War Story if it were! Dimwit calls, claiming this phone's battery is also acting bad. He shows up, talking about wanting a new one. I say I cannot do that; all I can do is a battery exchange. He takes the exchange, and leaves.
Some time later, he phones with some random, obscure, improvable issues with the phone. Meaning, he cannot prove these issues are happening with the phone, and I cannot prove they are not. Generally, this means he just wants a new phone. I say all I can do is a warranty exchange, but since I'm not a service center, it'd take a week to get the replacement handset to my store from the Boss' store in Kansas City. Dimwit asks how that would work. I tell him: for a $35 swap fee, we'll do the swap through us instead of having to wait on Motorola to send one from them. He pisses about the fee, and asks if it's a new phone. I say no, none of Motorola's warranty handsets are brand-new, but they are like new, refurbished phones. Even the ones that Motorola mails out. He throws a fit about paying $35 for "some broke phone." I say they are not broken, just have minutes on them. They look and act new otherwise. He still throws a fit, since he's only had the phone for "like a month" and it's just not fair. I asked if every customer is treated the same, how is that not fair? He ignores me and continues rant. I tell him I'll ask the Boss if he's willing to waive the fee, as he does that sometimes.
"Oh he'd better," Dimwit exclaims. "I haven't had this phone very long, and that would be the right thing for him to do."
Boss agrees to waive the fee. Next time I talk to Dimwit, he declares that he's calling Motorola because he thinks he deserves a free new phone. I say, "Whatever you want to do. My boss will waive the swap fee, so let me know so I can ask him about bringing one to my store next week, if you decide to go through us." Instead of thanking me for getting the fee waived, he goes "K" and hangs up. Without waiting for me to say good-bye or anything.
At this point, I have a fair amount of dislike for Dimwit. ALL phone calls end that way. If I'm lucky, he says something final, like "Okay" or "All right" before he slams down the phone. Usually after I answer his question, he just hangs up, like I'm not worthy of a "good-bye" or "thank you."
If anyone remembers, I have a friend with cerebral palsy, named Mark. He has a daygirl named Tiffany who comes in the mornings to take care of him. One day, she came in to look at my Yellow Box Company phones. She says her boyfriend's brother has one, and she liked it. I asked him if he got it here, and if he did, what his name was. She says Dimwit’s name. She catches my facial expression before I can hide it.
"Oh don't worry," she says, "the ENTIRE family hates him. He's rude, obnoxious, cruel, and he still lives with his mother, whom he treats like shit." I love it. She asks if he's been giving me shit about the phone. I say yes. She says he never charges it, and always has 3-hour conversations with people, then gets mad if the battery is even slightly off of "full." She suggested he charge the phone once in a while, but he blew up because apparently, these phones should last forever, even with his marathon phone conversations.
Oh this is great. I share my new information with Boss, who thinks it's freaking hilarious.
Comment