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Genius of the day

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  • Genius of the day

    This just made my morning.
    Where I work, we hire out carpet cleaning machines. The customer books a machine, pays a deposit and pays for the machine hire, goes home, cleans their carpets and returns the machine the next day.

    Customer (from about 10 metres away from me): Yoo-hoo! Anyone there?
    Me (stood at the counter in full view - I could tell this was going to go well): Good Morning. How can I help you?
    Cust: Do you do that carpet cleaning thingy?
    Me: Yes, we do. Do you need inform...
    Cust: Oh good! I'll just get my husband.

    So I think she's going to get her husband so they can work out a date for booking the machine. While she's gone I go to get the diary ready to book the hire.

    About 5 minutes later, she returns, with husband in tow. And a very very large package. Huge. Uh-oh.

    Genius had taken up the carpet in her living room. All 144 square feet of it. And had brought it to me to clean.

    Cust: So. I've got the carpet What happens now?
    Me: Well...we don't clean the carpets here. You hire the machine, take it home and do it yourself. While the carpets are still in place.
    Cust: You mean I spent all last night moving out my furniture and taking up the carpet for you to say NO? Now what am I supposed to do?
    Me: could put the carpet back and book the cleaning machine.
    Cust: I'm not doing that! It doesn't say I have to do it myself! (huffs).
    (well, no, apart from the big sign saying so and the common sense aspect)
    Cust: Fine. Do you clean rugs?
    Me: (I know where this is going...) ...yes.
    Cust: Well...this is just a big rug then. Can you put it in as a rug?
    Me: I could...but it's a much better option to hire the machine and clean it yourself.
    Cust: No. I'm not cleaning it myself! Now how much would it cost to clean it as a rug.
    Me: Around £250. With a 4 week turn around, and no guarantees our cleaning centre can clean it.
    Cust: And what sort of service do you call that? Your machine hire is £13.99 so I want it done for that price. And I need it back for the weekend. I have visitors.
    Me: No. (big smile) Not possible I'm afraid.
    Me: You could try <big dry cleaning centre down the road> But I'm sure they won't be able to offer anything different. And as they don't hire machines, they'll just send you back to us. (we have a very good relationship with them and share idiot customers)

    What a genius! To her husband's credit he was trying to pull her away from the counter...