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"What's the difference," indeed . . .

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  • #1

    "What's the difference," indeed . . .

    Okay, this is a pretty simple, straightforward story. I was working in the Travel section of our bookstore, when this lady asks me if I can help her with something. She holds up a book, and the following dialogue ensues :


    Customer : My brother-in-law is going on a trip to Iowa in a couple of weeks, and he needs a travel guide. Do you think this would be a good one?

    Me : . . . Ma'am, that's a travel guide for Ohio.

    Customer : So? What's the difference?


    . . . Do I really need to say anything else? This story just kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?

    <Sigh>
    “Excuse me. Is this bracelet real jade?”
    “Ma’am, this is a thrift shop. The tag on the bracelet says $1.50. It comes with a matching mood ring. What do you think?”
    “I don’t know.”
    “Yes, it’s real.”
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Anthony K. S. View Post
    . . . Do I really need to say anything else? This story just kind of speaks for itself, doesn't it?
    It does.

    I'm curious, how did you respond to this dim-witted woman?
    "...WHY DO YOU TEMPT WHAT LITTLE FAITH IN HUMANITY I HAVE!?!" ~ Kalga

    "DO NOT ENRAGE THE MIGHTY SKY DRAGON." ~ Gravekeeper

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    • #3
      Quoth Aramika View Post
      I'm curious, how did you respond to this dim-witted woman?
      At first, I didn't.

      I was seriously wondering if this was some strange attempt at humor . . . So, for the first few moments, I just sort of stood there and looked at her. I was watching for a smile, a laugh, or some indication that this was a joke.

      . . . But, no. Sadly, she appeared to be quite serious. So, not knowing what else to do . . .

      This is what I said :

      "Ma'am, Iowa and Ohio are actually two separate states. You're really better off just getting a travel guide for Iowa itself. That's the best advice I can give you . . ."

      This is what I was thinking :

      "No, the best advice I can give you is to have somebody else in your family come here and get this book. Because if this conversation is any indication, I'd be very surprised if you knew any part of your body from a hole in the ground."

      Again, I will say . . . <Sigh>
      “Excuse me. Is this bracelet real jade?”
      “Ma’am, this is a thrift shop. The tag on the bracelet says $1.50. It comes with a matching mood ring. What do you think?”
      “I don’t know.”
      “Yes, it’s real.”

      Comment

      • #4
        Well....when I drive from NY state to Nebraska to visit family, I do have to drive through Ohio. I only stop for bathroom and food breaks of course, so I admit needing a travel guide for that portion of the trip is a stretch. But please, let me pretend that was the case in an effort to spare my sanity.
        A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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        • #5
          As much as I hate saying it, many people confuse Iowa and Ohio. My mom's family is from Iowa and we often deal with southern hicks who say "Ohio is how we pronounce Iowa around here." Which normally results in asking what they call Ohio then.

          People aren't bright. Many would forget what state they lived in if they didn't have a reminder on all the letters they get in the mail.

          Comment

          • #6
            Quoth Anthony K. S. View Post
            Customer : My brother-in-law is going on a trip to Iowa in a couple of weeks, and he needs a travel guide. Do you think this would be a good one?
            What her brother will need is a boat and a boating guide if he goes there anytime soon. There's 83 counties in Iowa that are in a state of emergency due to flooding.

            I must say though, even though they have that going on - when I talk to people who need service in Iowa - they are very understanding that the service truck may be running a lot later than expected. Only once now have I gotten an SC that expected our tow truck to part water to reach them.
            "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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            • #7
              Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
              What her brother will need is a boat and a boating guide if he goes there anytime soon. There's 83 counties in Iowa that are in a state of emergency due to flooding.
              That with some oars, dinghies and life vests. Right now it's no place to go for any vacation. That's like wanting to go to Fort Lauderdale after a bad hurricane.
              I don't get paid enough to kiss your a**! -Groezig 5/31/08
              Another day...another million braincells lost...-Sarlon 6/16/08
              Chivalry is not dead. It's just direly underappreciated. -Samaliel 9/15/09

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              • #8
                Quoth tropicsgoddess View Post
                Right now it's no place to go for any vacation. =.
                Come to think of it - when IS a right time to go to IOWA for vacation? I mean if they didn't have casinos I don't think anyone would purposely go to IOWA for vacation. That's like taking your vacation in Nebraska. What? Wait....

                (you don't want to vacation in Nebraska - its a black hole...lots of people I know, came here on vacation once and next thing they knew - they were residents. I wonder - if some of the folks lost in the Bermuda Triangle can't be found here somewhere?)
                "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

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                • #9
                  I drove through Iowa once on my way to Nebraska (to visit relatives). It was, hands down, the most boring state I've ever been in. Nothing but cornfield and interstate. I believe I briefly saw Des Moines, but nothing about it was memorable. And this is all really saying something, because I live in Indiana.

                  People have told me that Kansas is worse, but I don't believe them.
                  Excuse me, good sir paladin, can you direct me to your EVIL district?

                  http://www.dywhcomic.com

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                  • #10
                    Well, one difference between Iowa and Ohio that springs readily to mind is that Iowa currently is pretty much underwater.

                    My family drove through Nebraska once, one our way home from Yellowstone. A lot of towns along the interstate advertised ruts from pioneer wagon wheels as tourist attractions.

                    Pretty much a long, boring drive. Except for Omaha, that seemed pretty cool.
                    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                    • #11
                      Let's just say it. With a few exceptions, the entire Midwest is pretty boring, and I can say this as a lifelong Midwesterner. If you're taking a bus trip across the USA, you can sleep from New York to Colorado and not miss much.
                      "Wouldn't that be unethical?"
                      "That's only an issue for those who aren't already in Hell."
                      --Dilbert

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                        Except for Omaha, that seemed pretty cool.
                        SHHHH!!!! The power!!! It will hear you and suck you into the vortex that is the armpit of America - the midwest - where you will be stuck until you can break free of its evil grasp!
                        "I'm still walking, so I'm sure that I can dance!" from Saint of Circumstance - Grateful Dead

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
                          What her brother will need is a boat and a boating guide if he goes there anytime soon. There's 83 counties in Iowa that are in a state of emergency due to flooding.

                          I'm sorry.

                          I should have mentioned this in my original post : This story didn't happen recently. It actually happened about a year or so ago, I think.

                          When I wrote that post, I was so focused on the strangeness of the conversation that I honestly didn't realize that when this happened would be important to mention.

                          My mistake. Sorry.


                          Quoth friendofjimmyk View Post
                          Come to think of it - when IS a right time to go to IOWA for vacation? I mean if they didn't have casinos I don't think anyone would purposely go to IOWA for vacation.
                          I don't know. This woman never actually said why her brother-in-law was going to Iowa. I suppose that he might have been going on a business trip of some sort, and just wanted to have something to do during the time he wasn't working.

                          Or he might have been going to visit somebody . . . Although I don't see why he'd need a travel guide, then. You would think that the people he's visiting would be able to tell him what was in the area . . .


                          I've never been to the Midwest, so I really wouldn't know . . .

                          However, I do have a co-worker who is from the Midwest. When I told him this story, and the way this woman asked, "What's the difference?" . . . My co-worker just laughed and said, "Yeah, she's right. There is no difference."
                          “Excuse me. Is this bracelet real jade?”
                          “Ma’am, this is a thrift shop. The tag on the bracelet says $1.50. It comes with a matching mood ring. What do you think?”
                          “I don’t know.”
                          “Yes, it’s real.”

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Well, here's something to remind you of Iowa during the good times.

                            http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyeY0hWU28I
                            The Rich keep getting richer because they keep doing what it was that made them rich. Ditto the Poor.
                            "Hy kan tell dey is schmot qvestions, dey is makink my head hurt."
                            Hoc spatio locantur.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              The two things that annoy me most about living in the Midwest:

                              1) I live in KC, MO not not NOT KCK. Kansas City, Kansas is a black hole of a ghetto that you don't go to after dark. The rest of the Kansas City suburbs in Kansas are rich white people and shopping. No, Overland Park is not Kansas City. Lenexa is not Kansas City. Shawnee is not Kansas City. None of these towns are Kansas City, they are a shining example of white flight and urban sprawl.

                              2) Where I live is actually pretty interesting. There's culture, nightlife, and trees. Where I'm moving to (actually in Kansas, not a KC suburb) also has culture, nightlife, and trees. Don't ask me how much corn I've seen lately. Because there is no corn. Or wheat. Or cows. Where I live, if there's a big enough plot of land for a field, there's a shopping center with a Bed, Bath, & Beyond, an Old Navy, and a Target on it.
                              "Even arms dealers need groceries." ~ Ziva David, NCIS

                              Tony: "Everyone's counting on you, just do what you do best."
                              Abby: "Dance?" ~ NCIS

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