My Immortal--The Worst Fanfic EVER!!!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Gotta throw up the Encyclopedia Drammatica article about this story.

It is probably NSFW, and may not load half of the time, but it is worth checking out.

[myswtghst]

Wow. Just wow. Also, OWIE, my poor brain. I keep "reading" through bits and pieces of this in my spare time at work, and it hurts. A lot.

I'm currently enjoying the fact that certain "students" convered to "Stanism" after their father killed himself. That's right, not Satanism, but Stanism. I'm just curious who Stan is.

The stupid burns. Make it stop.

Oh, but thanks for all the links...now I just have to wait til I'm home to see them all.

[Trayol]

Wow I saw it and I felt my brain scream.

The optimism in me is telling me it's a great joke. Reality is telling me that this person may actually be the dumbest human to have ever existed.

I commemorate anyone who can get past the first chapter.

[XCashier]

I'm currently enjoying the fact that certain "students" convered to "Stanism" after their father killed himself. That's right, not Satanism, but Stanism. I'm just curious who Stan is.

Maybe they worship Marvel Comics' Stan Lee?

Or UHF's Stanley Spadowski?

[BlakeMP]

Maybe they worship Marvel Comics' Stan Lee?

Oh, God, I'm totally picturing them sitting in a circle, wearing Dr. Strange robes and chanting, "Excelsior... Excelsior... Excelsior..."

[Imogene]

I'm just curious who Stan is.

I have a real answer, sadly enough.
In the PS2 game, Okage: Shadow King, your shadow (I forget the main character's name because the game was ridiculously horrible) gets possessed by the King of Darkness, Stan. No, seriously. One of the first games on the PS2 limited the number of characters in your name. Wet Tonsil Hockey?

[AnaKhouri]

After reading more (it's like fracking car wreck...can't look away) I am 99% convinced this is a joke, and a bloody good one. No one is this stupid and not since Mrs. Malaprop has anyone had such a poor grasp of word meanings. It's a bloody good joke, though, funny as hell. I couldn't begin to write this badly if I tried.

My writer friends decided to hold an informal contest to see who could write the worst fanfic.

My friends decided to hold informal contest to see who could write the worst fanfic.

Here's my entry ^_^ (bad spelling, naughty language- all you preps better STFU and give me good reviews!
)

Layla Entropy Bloodnest Uhura opened her chocolate-brown eyes and shook out her long, goffic black hair with green streaks. She put on a red miniskirt and black boots with Avenged Sevenfold all over dem in red.

She went in the hall and met Chekhov. "Hi" said Chekhov all depressed.

"Hi" said Uhara. Den Captain Kurk called her and she had 2 go 2 work.

When she gots to the bridg it was all painted pink. "WTF?" Shrieked Uhura apathetically.

"Dis is meh fung shwai, I want to make every1 preps so dey get along." said Kurk. "Do u like it?"

"No I ****ing don't!" screamed Uhaira pensively.

"Hey Uhura do u want to go 2 da Linkin Park concert wif me?" said Sulu all happy. "I has tickets."

"OK" said Uhaura dismissively. (Sulu wuz a total pozer but Linkin Park was her favoritest band b-cuz Chester was soooo ****ing hott!!!1111)

"Captain dere is Klingons outside!!11" screamed Vampire Spok alarmingly. Spok found our he was adapted by Vulkans and his reel paretntz wuz vampires.

"OMG!11 Oh noes!" Cried Kierk aesthetically.

[hecubus]

Heheheheh...."Volfemort has him bondage!"

God, I'm dyin' over here!

[Spiffy McMoron]

I just happened to stumble upon this thread, and by extention, this horrorshow of a fanfic. I like Harry Potter. I hate bad grammar, bad spelling, emo kids, most teens, nonsensical plot, "just cuz" sex scenes, faux-angst, and pretentious dumbasses. I don't like Harry Potter enough to overcome any of these.

Oh well, after this, I reckon I'm ready for childbirth - nothing could be more painful than 40 chapters of "he wuz a pentagram between blah and blah (geddit coz i'm goffik)"

No kind and benevolent person would bring a child into a world that contained this shit.

[iradney]

No kind and benevolent person would bring a child into a world that contained this shit.

Whatever gave you the impression that I'm kind and benevolent??
j/k
But I happen to agree with you on that point tho - I'm more of a dog person anyways, and babies hate me.

I STILL have nightmares about that friggin fanfic. A friend tried to show me some "soft core" porn novel called "The Big O" where the main character basically fantasises about all the men on the 'tube being naked and ravishing her and whatnot, but at least the spelling and grammar was good. And Hagrid wasn't in it as some Emo/Goffik/whatnot.

[Severen13]

This train-wreck of a fic just keeps going and going and going and going......

It has 6845 reviews now.





I don't know whether to laugh or cry. Though it did provide me with a good sig line.

[DeathByPigeons]

Oh.
My.
Dear.
God.

That was truly, truly, truly, awful... :crying:
It's one of those rare times when you find yourself thinking, 'The Grim Reaper just doesn't come fast enough, does he?'

I mean, what the heck was with all the clothing descriptions? I'm certainly not interested to know what the goffik Enoby (or Eboby, however she wants to put it this time) wears.

I couldn't read it...I could slowly feel the colour draining from my eyes. I read the first, like, ten chapters, then I gave up. I scanned more chapters very briefly, although this caught my eye:

Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked.

Classic.
However - I will leave the adventures of Enoby, Dumbledork, Serious, Loopin, Snap and McGoggle for another day.

[Spiffy McMoron]

Part of me is a little surprised that she didn't call the story "My Imortall" or some crap like that.

[XCashier]

Part of me is a little surprised that she didn't call the story "My Imortall" or some crap like that.

Good point. She managed to spell "immortal" correctly, but she can't even spell her own character's name the same from page to page?

This has got to be a parody. Oh, please dear God, let this be a parody. I would sincerely like to believe that nobody is so sludge-brained stupid that they misspell nearly every word on every page, write a pointless meandering "plot", send the characters so far OOC they may as well be from a different series altogether AND totally freak out at any correction or criticism!

[Lace Neil Singer]

I would love to think that, but sadly there are idiots like that out there. Otherwise, this board wouldn't exist. XD