Really, Really, Really Bad FanFic

[hecubus]

Check out what may be the worst Lord of the Rings fanfic ever.

It's SFW.

http://www.freewebs.com/bonsaimallorn4/Legolas.htm

[Pedersen]

I'm the type who will read to the end of anything. I hate starting a story, and not knowing how it ends.

I forced myself to finish up a through the third paragraph, and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I had to close the tab.

Please, tell me that this was written as an attempt at bad writing, to be entered into one of those bad writing contests? Please? If it wasn't, then the gods help us all.

That is the worst writing I've ever encountered. I think my 1st grade classmates did a better job. That stuff would make zombies eat their own brains, just to avoid seeing it anymore.

I'd forward this on to the CIA for use in their "sharpened interrogations", but I think that this would be too much. Personally, I'd prefer rubber hose beatings on the soles of my feet over having to read this.

I hear the Vogons are coming. They're trying to find out how their most celebrated author got stuck on this backwater planet.

Dear god, that is awful. It makes me want to hack the machine, just so I can delete it.

[RecoveringKinkoid]

I just glanced over it and I think this was written by a child. Unless there's info about the author to the contrary that I missed.

[cloudiko]

LOL!!! I almost choked on my root beer. I skimmed the story, but the last paragraph is the best by far. Wow, I really hope a ten year old wrote that.

[Caveat Emptor]

"Whats the age of the writer" he asked "I don't know it doesn't say" came the reply "it seems like grade school" he answered "it would be really really sad if it were someone older because it is truly poor form almost no puntuation and mentions nothing really about LOTR beyond some names and makes the Dark Lord seems like someone almost benovolent sending someone to the store for an errand it" he replied "Yes very true" he answered "it makes one want to gouge out their own eyes with a spoon" "ooh that's nasty but very very true."

[Caveat Emptor]

.

I hear the Vogons are coming. They're trying to find out how their most celebrated author got stuck on this backwater planet.

"Or I will rend thee in gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't!"

Even the poetry of Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings is an inordinate magnitude better than this writing!

"The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
They lay. They rotted. They turned
Around occassionally.
Bits of flesh dropped off them from
Time to time.
And sank into the pool's mire.
They also smelt a great deal."

[Kara]

Tard Author

Orcs came and said"because she got a power and she can distoy us all the bad guys".

And then she set us up the bomb.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go wash my eyes out with soap.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Well, at least it's short. It doesn't go on for 40 misspelled, leet-speak, flame-bait pages, like a certain "goffik" Harry Potter fanfic.

[NotSoInnocent]

NARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!

ouch... my brain just esplodeded. Must remove all knowledge that this "work of art" exists...

[Dreamstalker]

Ow, my brain. At age 10 I could write better than that.

*ponders: there must be a "worst Ghostbusters fanfic ever" out there somewhere....but do I want to look for it?*

[MystyGlyttyr]

Your base are belong to us?

[Acolyte]

I got up to 'cloth' before I closed the tab.

Epic fail.

[Plaidman]

I like the fact that Legolas fell in love with a ten year old girl, and kissed and such.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

Oh geez . . . I tried to read it, but I only made it halfway through the first sentence and my eyes were burning.

While I don't profess to writing the best fanfic in the world, at least I can spell and come up with a half-assed plot.

[Crazeyal]

HEHEHEHE

I have "Resist clickable button" at a 20!!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAH*cough**gasp*HAHAHAAHHAHH