For the ladies: meet your dream man

[BookstoreEscapee]

"She loves others unconditionally, meaning that even if they impose a "condition" of rejecting or betraying or harming her, she keeps loving them anyway.... her mature love cannot sour into hatred."

In other words, you won't walk if when he starts treating you like shit or slapping you around.

Fixed that for you.

Most people who exhibit that kind of "mature love" are hating themselves and think they deserve nothing better.

When she gets angry or hurt or sad or upset, it does not last too long.... or, if it is lasting, she turns inward and works on herself until she finds peace again.

Read: won't call me on my bullshit.

But if you get to know me, I will make you laugh and laugh and laugh! Seriously!

Well, he's right, he did make me laugh and laugh and laugh...

[TTAZ]

Also, TTAZ, don't bother. You ain't gonna teach that guy anything, he's beyond help. It would be like wrestling a pig...you just get dirty and then start realizing the pig's enjoying it.

Oh goodness, I know that. I have my own little Man Nightmare going on still with Deadbeat Von Babydaddy. I'm trying very hard not to stoop to his level of maturity by doing a Happy Ass Dance (tm) in his face while singing a little ditty about seeing him in court and how he'll get to be Bubba's Girl if he doesn't pay his child support.

So you see, I'm too busy to waste my fine words on the Tantric Palm.

Ohm.

[Anriana]

58 year old who refers to the woman he wants as a girl. Oh my.

I also liked that he explicitly does not like Scientologists but also doesn't like women who use psychiatric drugs.

[Thuringwethyl]

I started laughing out loud halfway through. Good luck with that, buddy!

[Gravekeeper]

Oh my God.

My first impression upon seeing him was this is a man who owns a van, has candy and lives near a school zone.

"Copyright © 2008 by The Angelic Realm of Intellectual Substance, all rights reserved. Copyright includes all text and images within this web site."

Just wow. -.-

This guy is either the second coming of Buddha

This guy is pretty much slapping the Eightfold Path with the wet end.

Sides, Buddha don't come back, that's the whole point of being Buddha. ^^

[Bella_Vixen]

That has got to be fake.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

But, he's "on the brink of a large-scale financial success"!!

He's gonna revolutionize the computer industry... or somethin'...I dunno, I stopped reading ...

IOW, his brain capacity will fit on the head of a pin.

He can take that "laundry list" and shove it sideways . . . without any K-Y. Ain't no way I could meet all those qualifications and I'm still TOO GOOD for his control-freakazoid assets (that he probably doesn't even have.)

[sms001]

Wow.

I'll hunt around a bit and see if I can find the site of the woman who was every bit as nit-picky. She was intertubes famous for a bit and makes for some hilarious reading as well.

[BethB]

Uh....ew! He requires all that crap from his woman. But what about what she would require? Oh that's right...she must just stand there like a pretty little decoration. And if she has some little "flaws", she must fix them...FOR HIM! I like my "flaws" just the way they are, thank you. I imagine this guy will be alone for a looooong time. But I did laugh thinking he may actually find this woman and she would want him as well. Also, like some others, I detected a hint of control freak. She best not eat that doughnut for fear of increasing her waistline. Or that cheeseburger because that's against his rules. And she can never have a practical haircut because short hair is against his rules too.

[Nyoibo]

That's stupid chicks with short hair are hot.

[Miyon]

"The sound of his voice, his words, his appearance, the way he looks at her, his powerful mind, his radiant heart, his intense sexuality, his confidence, his poise, and his very presence.... weaken her knees, fill her stomach with butterflies, send shivers up her spine, make her heart pound, overwhelm her with desire, and make her VERY wet."

This is where I stopped reading, and omg ewww

[crazylegs]

My Global Vision

I am on the brink of a large-scale financial success that many people believe will escalate me, over the next decade, from member of the middle class—to billionaire.

Really? Are you Sure?

Let me share with you my opinion on this.

[KellyHabersham]

Wow.

I'll hunt around a bit and see if I can find the site of the woman who was every bit as nit-picky. She was intertubes famous for a bit and makes for some hilarious reading as well.

While you're at it, look up fypl.info and Bill Miller......that site was quite amusing as well.

[blas]

Oh my God, is he fucking serious?!

I'm gonna be brave and just throw it out there. What is with these below average looking men that make them think they are entitled to only the most beautiful of women? Almost as if they DESERVE them, and won't settle for any less...

Yeah, I'll hop right on a balding man as old as my grandfather. And I'm sure every single woman out there is really going to hop all over him.

Get real, bucko.

[RayvenQ]

It pains me deeply to know that someone somewhere out there looked at all those requirements and read the blather and thought, "Hawt. There's me a may-un!

If you ask me, this guy has a serious, almost terminal, case of bloaty head.

(If you recognize the video game from which that ailment hails, I need to take you to a nice restaurant to feed you something fattening as appreciation.)

Bloaty Head you say? Oh, wait, here comes an Invisible man, A man with King Complex, A man with Slack tongue and one with an Uncommon Cold.....


Am I right in guessing your reference was Theme Hospital?