For the ladies: meet your dream man

[BookstoreEscapee]

'K, so I just finally read that whole long thing...the section on himself is just hysterical...He's right about one thing - he did make me laugh! Not quite sure it was the kind of laughter he intended, though...

[Nyoibo]

Yeah, I'll hop right on a balding man as old as my grandfather. And I'm sure every single woman out there is really going to hop all over him.
Get real, bucko.

Well if he were actually a billionaire, then there would be plenty.

I'm amazed at the online profiles I've seen from guys saying things like, "Only interested in those that are weight proportionate" or "must have lots of energy for exercise" or various other euphemisms for "No fatties". Asses. One guy even said, "Must be able to run for a mile or have sex on top for more than 5 minutes". 5 minutes? That's all? You poor dear.

I mean, how would it seem if I put a mandatory cock length on my profile? Or height? Or "must not have a beer gut"?

No one would bat an eyelid, there already are heaps of profiles out there with that stuff on it, I've seen plenty with things like "8" and over only, supply face and cock pic or no reply." I've seen ones that come right out and say "no fatties".

[Nurian]

Guess his ego was too much for the site...

[BookstoreEscapee]

When I click the link, I get this:
"Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later."

Darn it, I want to read it - I need a good laugh!

Aw, man! I wanted to read more, too! <pouts>

[Aramika]

When I click the link, I get this:
"Bandwidth Limit Exceeded
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later."

Darn it, I want to read it - I need a good laugh!

[Rapscallion]

I can see where you're coming from, but isn't it better to not even get to the point and expense of getting ready and going on a date, perhaps even getting more emotionally attracted to someone before hitting the deal breaker?

I have to ask this seriously, as I'm an observer rather than a participant.

Rapscallion

[AdminAssistant]

I guess I get really tired of reading a great, funny profile, only to find out that I don't fit that person's physical "ideal".

[Rapscallion]

I guess I clicked on that link expecting some guy going through a midlife crisis or some idiot overgrown frat boy......

*ponder* I think we actually got both in one neat package!

I mean, how would it seem if I put a mandatory cock length on my profile? Or height? Or "must not have a beer gut"?

From what I understand, mostly from the occasional 'girly issues' thread on here, women come in different sizes as well as men. If you were looking for someone with some rumpy pumpy potential, I would say it would be worth mentioning that being hung like a mammoth is probably a bad thing.

Must not have beer gut - well, if you're looking for a long-term relationship and even if sex isn't the main thing, then a beer gut shows a good chance that the owner doesn't look after himself, and the time available with them is likely to be shorter.

Height? If you store the cookie jar on the top shelf, height could be very, very important.

I'd initially say it would be very sensible to weed out those who just won't fit - should save you time. Of course, there's the very important aspect of not going over the top like this doofus.

Rapscallion

[AdminAssistant]

I'm amazed at the online profiles I've seen from guys saying things like, "Only interested in those that are weight proportionate" or "must have lots of energy for exercise" or various other euphemisms for "No fatties". Asses. One guy even said, "Must be able to run for a mile or have sex on top for more than 5 minutes". 5 minutes? That's all? You poor dear.

I mean, how would it seem if I put a mandatory cock length on my profile? Or height? Or "must not have a beer gut"?

[blas]

A great point you do have, Raps.

I guess I clicked on that link expecting some guy going through a midlife crisis or some idiot overgrown frat boy......

[Rapscallion]

Hey, if you don't ask then you don't get!

Actually, I can't see him getting, but then I look around and see some women with utter losers because they love them utterly.

World's a funny and deluded place.

Rapscallion

[RayvenQ]

It pains me deeply to know that someone somewhere out there looked at all those requirements and read the blather and thought, "Hawt. There's me a may-un!

If you ask me, this guy has a serious, almost terminal, case of bloaty head.

(If you recognize the video game from which that ailment hails, I need to take you to a nice restaurant to feed you something fattening as appreciation.)

Bloaty Head you say? Oh, wait, here comes an Invisible man, A man with King Complex, A man with Slack tongue and one with an Uncommon Cold.....


Am I right in guessing your reference was Theme Hospital?

[blas]

Oh my God, is he fucking serious?!

I'm gonna be brave and just throw it out there. What is with these below average looking men that make them think they are entitled to only the most beautiful of women? Almost as if they DESERVE them, and won't settle for any less...

Yeah, I'll hop right on a balding man as old as my grandfather. And I'm sure every single woman out there is really going to hop all over him.

Get real, bucko.

[KellyHabersham]

Wow.

I'll hunt around a bit and see if I can find the site of the woman who was every bit as nit-picky. She was intertubes famous for a bit and makes for some hilarious reading as well.

While you're at it, look up fypl.info and Bill Miller......that site was quite amusing as well.

[crazylegs]

My Global Vision

I am on the brink of a large-scale financial success that many people believe will escalate me, over the next decade, from member of the middle class—to billionaire.

Really? Are you Sure?

Let me share with you my opinion on this.