Dear....

[BookstoreEscapee]

Dear Self,

You're a stupid, fucking idiot. Why do you bother?

[Treasure]

Dear Datajager,
I know you don't come on the forum anymore but I still appreciate everything you do for me.
Smoochies,
Your plunder bunny.
Dear Forumites,
Cookies for getting the plunder bunny reference!

Possibly a pirate-newbie,
EQ

I have that shirt!
http://www.piratemod.com/PirateModMain.htm

[Becks]

Dear job,

I am starting to loathe you deeply.

Grrrrrrrr,

--me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear male harem,

You're slacking.

Searching for a whip,

--me

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear female innards,

Why are you attacking me? I haven't done anything to you!

I don't like be curled into a fetal position for most of the day when I need to rearrange my cupboards. And I need to rearrange my dresser drawers and other things.

I don't like me at the moment.

I WANT CHOCOLATE!
Rummy

[fireheart]

Dear Becks,

Seconded!

Love,
FH

Dear Rummy,

I have chocolate Freddo's. Will that help?

Love,
FH

Dear work,

Despite being with you for so long, I feel that the best time for me to leave is now. That way there is no grumbling over whether or not I have the capabilities to be a supervisor, there are no breakdowns, no screwups etc.

Love,
ME.

Dear Antidepressants,

Please don't give me horrible side effects. (I've switched to Pristiq)

[CaroPhoenix]

Dear FH,

Chocolate anything will be acceptable for me today (and for the rest of the week ). Oh, and any and all red meat (I crave red meat too).

<3,
Rummy
---------------------------------------
Dear Rest of my body,

What have I ever done to you!?

I go to a new doctor and you fall apart.

Stop it now!
Rummy

[Ghel]

Dear Annoying Coworker,

There's a reason that Crazy Frog was originally called the Annoying Thing. Your poor imitation of "ring-a-ding-a-ding-da-dong-da-dong" is even more annoying than the original. You're not clever or cute. Stop. Please.

--Ghel

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear George Webb:

If the Milwaukee Brewers lose 12 games in a row, do I still get free hamburgers?

I feel I deserve them for watching this abortion of a team the Brewers evidently are this year.

Hungrily yours:
Irv

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Dear Clearance Swamp DC:

Normally I'm cussing you guys out, but today I want to thank you for the bountiful selection of DVDs you sent us as free goods on the last truck.

For less than four dollars, I was able to add PCU and Spaceballs to my DVD library.

Thank you and keep the goodies coming.

Irv

[Green_Fairy]

dear my female innards:

no. what i think you're trying to tell me better not be true. i will not allow it. i was on pills to prevent this! you'd better get your act together before i go do something that isn't very pleasant.

love,
me

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear MelSelf,

EAT SOMETHING YOU LITTLE RED HAIRED SON OF A JACKAL.

Your Female Side,
Frau Schinn


Dear Schinn,

I'll bloody well eat when it cools off. Stop being a mother, you have the mentality of an EIGHT YEAR OLD and EIGHT YEAR OLDS shouldn't really be telling TWENTY-SOMETHINGS what to do. I'm a Shaman, I know what I'm doin-don't you dare roll your eyes at me!

The Other Me,
RW


Dear Brain,

Tell me something, WHY IS MY THOUGHT PROCESS SPLIT IN HALF?!

Aggravated the older We get,
RW (MelSelf)

[ZedOmega]

Dear Assface Street Racers:

My street is WAY too short to be considered a drag strip. One of these days, you're going to end up losing control at your 100+ MPH speeds and will grant me entertainment in the form of watching you headslide into a telephone pole, or worse, the 18-wheeler going up one of the main streets.

When you do crash, someone else will be calling 911, as I will be laughing at the evidence of Darwinism at work.

Awaiting my schadenfreude overdose,

Z.

P.S. Did anyone ever tell you that 24" rims might look good on an Escalade, but look completely ridiculous on your little Ford Focus? Just a thought.

[RetailWorkhorse]

Dear Ex GF,

Note me back, dammit. I wanna know what this mysterious favour you want outta me is. It's been two days, are you dead or something?

-RW


Dear Humidity,

You I dislike.

-RW

[fireheart]

Dear government,

Thank you for providing me with the stuff I need for a politics class. I now have reports and research coming right out of the wazoo.

Thank you,
FH.

Dear printer,

I didn't realise printers farted.

Love,
FH.

[lobo94]

To my cat,

Your daddy loves you. That said...please keep the claws in when you're walking on or kneading me. And when you're doing a flying leap into bed...try to land on Daddy's knees or torso, not the area between those two parts.