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  • Quoth mjr View Post
    Dear Traffic this morning:

    WHY?! WHY?!

    WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!

    Why did you make my drive as difficult as it was?! ONE HOUR to get to the office, when it should only take me about 35 or 40!

    WHY?! I lost my patience in my car because of you!

    That is all.
    Dear mjr;

    When in doubt, look for license plates from Virginia and/or Florida, then blame them, 'cuz everyone knows Virginians and Floridians can't drive for crap, and thus they cause traffic jams everywhere they go!

    --Jack
    "Eventually one outgrows the fairy tales of childhood, belief in Santa and the Easter Bunny, and believing that SCs are even capable of imagining themselves in our position."
    --StanFlouride

    Comment


    • Quoth Jack T. Chance View Post
      When in doubt, look for license plates from Virginia and/or Florida, then blame them, 'cuz everyone knows Virginians and Floridians can't drive for crap, and thus they cause traffic jams everywhere they go!
      Back when I was growing up in B.C., the standard joke was a tourist commenting "Isn't it great that you make all the really bad drivers put yellow license plates on their cars?". At the time, Alberta had yellow license plates (B.C. couldn't make up its mind between white on blue, and blue on white).
      Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

      Comment


      • Quoth wolfie View Post
        Back when I was growing up in B.C., the standard joke was a tourist commenting "Isn't it great that you make all the really bad drivers put yellow license plates on their cars?". At the time, Alberta had yellow license plates (B.C. couldn't make up its mind between white on blue, and blue on white).
        Now Alberta uses red on white for licenses, BC is blue on white (or blue on blue depending on the issuing year. Never seen a white on blue plate.)
        Drivers on the first part of the graduated license must have a red L magnet on the back of the vehicle. I've always wondered if the fact that it looks similar to the Alberta license plates was coincidence.

        Comment


        • Quoth Sakka View Post
          Never seen a white on blue plate.
          You must be a young'n - IIRC, white on blue was back in the early '70s.

          Quoth Sakka View Post
          Drivers on the first part of the graduated license must have a red L magnet on the back of the vehicle.
          Does this mean that in B.C., beginners aren't allowed to drive Saturns (polymer body panels), Grand Cherokees (fiberglass tailgate), or any other vehicle with a non-steel vertical surface at the rear?
          Any fool can piss on the floor. It takes a talented SC to shit on the ceiling.

          Comment


          • Dear Hurricane Matthew,

            Go away.

            Sincerely,

            Catcul
            This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

            I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

            Comment


            • Dear Little Jerk Off who hit our car yesterday-

              You are not a human being. You are a scared little boy. A man owns up to his mistakes and you made a HUGE one by not only stopping when you saw us coming and hitting our car, but by running away from the scene as you did, you have now committed a felony offense.

              Not to mention you have damaged the only means of transportation my family has to rely on. My mother has mobility issues, rendering her in a wheelchair when she's not in the car, which she drives to take her only daughter back and forth to work, who by the way is now the sole support of the family which includes a special needs son since the lady driving isn't able to work anymore.

              We are hoping that the result of this incident doesn't end up in our car being totaled out. We simply cannot afford a car payment like the owner of the car you were driving (whether it was your mom's, grandmother's, girlfriends' mom's car, whomever - it doesn't matter) obviously can. Not to mention you have not only damaged that woman' vehicle (which I'm sure she works hard to pay for, since it's a 2016 and she's most likely making payments on and those payments aren't cheap) you have caused her insurance rates to increase b/c of your actions. Not to mention her license will incur points b/c she let someone else drive her car.

              If I were that woman whose car you were driving, I'd hand you over to the police myself b/f I changed my mind and killed you w/my bare hands.

              Sincerely
              DGoddessChardonnay
              Human Resources - the adult version of "I'm telling Mom." - Agent Anthony "Tony" DiNozzo (NCIS)

              Comment


              • Quoth wolfie View Post
                You must be a young'n - IIRC, white on blue was back in the early '70s.
                That was before my time, yes.
                The plates that I really hate in BC were for the Olympics, differing shades of blue on blue. Add in a decal for Vancouver, Olympic logo, etc, and they were a nightmare to read unless I was dangerously close while driving.

                Quoth wolfie View Post
                Does this mean that in B.C., beginners aren't allowed to drive Saturns (polymer body panels), Grand Cherokees (fiberglass tailgate), or any other vehicle with a non-steel vertical surface at the rear?
                If the decal won't stick or was in a hard to see spot, there was a sticker bag that would go in the rear window that the decal would sit in.

                Comment


                • DGoddess, words fail me. I just can't even... I hope he gets taught a lesson!
                  "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

                  Comment


                  • Dear feet,

                    Stop hurting.

                    Dear hair,

                    Grow longer.

                    Dear face,

                    Stop breaking out.

                    Dear self,

                    Start sleeping.
                    Unseen but seeing
                    oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                    There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                    3rd shift needs love, too
                    RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                    Comment


                    • Dear R,

                      I don't know what message you're trying to send from the great beyond, but I'd like it if you could make it a little clearer.

                      I mean, 2015? That was just a normal year for us.

                      I miss you.

                      Love,

                      me
                      Unseen but seeing
                      oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                      There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                      3rd shift needs love, too
                      RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                      Comment


                      • Dear ladies in the office,

                        Why are the tall ladies wearing heels while the short ones are wearing flats?
                        This site proves Corey Taylor right. Man really is a "four letter word."

                        I'm now using my Deviant Art page to post my humor.

                        Comment


                        • Dear Friend: Look, I do know you're trying to help, but it's unsolicited advice about a condition you don't have. Yes, I know our pain levels are similar and yours is in your arm, too. But yours is muscular, I'm betting. I know that because I asked you which disk space you are having trouble with and you didn't know.
                          And you talked about us being middle-aged and how we need to exercise. OK, mine has nothing to do with exercising muscles; it's a DEFECT in my spine. It's bones in the wrong place and it's not a middle-aged condition. I've had it since CHILDHOOD. So when people tell me how to stretch or what to do, I feel a bit offended. I do stretch. I do traction (which may have moved something incorrectly, actually, and have caused this). None of that helps, frankly, because the issue is with a NERVE, not muscles. Yeah, I can try to have the muscles move the bone up off that disk, but it's only going to be a limited effectiveness.
                          And speaking of that, when I tell you I don't have time to go to the chiropractor, don't give me a list of all the things you do every week. We work exactly the same number of hours but you can do all that extra because you have a wife to take care of the everyday stuff. I work as much as you and her combined because I do that in my household.

                          Bottom line: my telling someone about something that's happening to me doesn't mean they have all the answers or that I want advice outside what my doctor says. Telling me "I'm not trying to tell you what to do" and then doing that is frustrating me. But I do know it's out of love, so I am going to let it go as much as I can and continue to consult my doctor.

                          ETA: I looked up treatment and advice on my specific current condition and it says *not* to exercise until it's healed because it will irritate the nerve even more. That would be why I was in so much pain yesterday morning. I worked a full 8 at the retail job Saturday.
                          Last edited by Food Lady; 10-31-2016, 01:01 PM.
                          "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

                          Comment


                          • Dear former day job,

                            I'm glad I'm done with you.

                            Dancing with glee,

                            myself
                            Unseen but seeing
                            oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                            There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                            3rd shift needs love, too
                            RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                            Comment


                            • Quoth Jack T. Chance View Post
                              Dear mjr;

                              When in doubt, look for license plates from Virginia and/or Florida, then blame them, 'cuz everyone knows Virginians and Floridians can't drive for crap, and thus they cause traffic jams everywhere they go!

                              --Jack
                              Only the old ones. I drive well and only occasionally like a bat out of hell but haven't had an accident in a couple years
                              ACNL Dream Address: 5300-6013-1370

                              Comment


                              • Dear R.,

                                Same thing as every day for the past 3+ months.

                                *sigh*

                                Love,

                                me
                                Unseen but seeing
                                oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                                There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                                3rd shift needs love, too
                                RIP, mo bhrionglóid

                                Comment

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