Dear....

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear You Know Who You Are;



..and you let me go anyway. I guess you really weren't any better than the "idiots" before you, after all.




P.S. I still can't believe it's already been 4 years. FML.

[mjr]

Dear Guy At Work Who Wants Us To Fill Out An Assessment And Attach Our Names To It:

No. The entire team is uncomfortable with doing this. NONE of them want to! And who is the "we" you mention in your email? People up here have a distrust of management as it is, and many of us view this as a way to either cut individuals and/or teams.

We had come to the decision that we were going to do this anonymously, but no, you had to pull me aside and tell me that it's "the point" to have our names attached.

People are going to LIE on this thing if you have us put our names to it. That's the bottom line.

Thankfully, it seems like a co-worker has somewhat brought you to your senses.

[Food Lady]

Dear lower back: I thought the pain was gone, but here you go again. I can't be dealing with this when I start training and have to be there at 8:00 am. I can't be waiting around for the meds to work! I guess I'm going to have to take the opiate every morning now. *sigh*

[Seanette]

"Dear" uterus:

STOP IT!!! We are NOT due for the cramps and such for a couple more weeks. Aching and twinging is NOT called for.

Really looking forward to being done with you after menopause.

Your hostess

[catcul]

Dear knee,

Why are you so swollen? I can barely walk.

Sincerely,

Catcul

[Food Lady]

^ It amuses me that you capitalized Sugars and Total Carbs. Yes, they are important.

[Jack T. Chance]

Dear Taco Bell;

THANK YOU for introducing me to Mountain Dew Kickstart!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Pepsi;

Thank you for MAKING Mountain Dew Kickstart! At a time in my life where I'm doing everything I can to cut down my intake of Sugars and Total Carbs, to find a version of Mountain Dew I LIKE that has NO "Diet Soda Aftertaste", less than half the Calories, Sugars, and Total Carbs of regular Mountain Dew, and MORE Caffeine then regular Dew, is a GOD-SEND for those times when I need extra caffeine in the middle of the day!

But now you need to work on the distribution, 'cuz Kickstart needs to be EVERYWHERE, just like regular Dew! MAKE IT SO!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Coca-Cola;

You may have those nifty Coca-Cola Freestyle machines, with like a gajillion flavors, but you do not yet have a Mello-Yello equivalent of Mountain Dew Kickstart. That should change. NOW!

Just a suggestion.

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Dear Becks;



--Your Friendly Neighborhood Ring-Slinger

[darkroxas45]

Dear lady who "came early" to the car care clinic,
BACK OF THE FREAKING LINE. I DON'T CARE IF YOU WERE HERE BEFORE US.

[Becks]

Thanks, Food Lady.
This is killing me.

[Food Lady]

Becks, I'm so sorry! *hugs*

[Becks]

This is going to be rambling.

Mo bhrionglóid,

I am devastated.
I am angry.
I cry every day.
I'm forcing myself to eat, but it's not much.
I can't believe that you'll never call, text or message me anymore. I keep expecting you to.
Whenever I was sad, you'd tell me "no sadness". Well, what am I supposed to do now?
You told me that before we met that you'd prayed to God for ....well, I don't know how to put it into words, but soon after, I entered your life.
Why would God give me to you, just to take you away from me less than 5 years later?
All the promises you made, except for one, are now lies.
I told you this would happen. You didn't believe me. Your Pisces abilities were no match for my Cancer intuition.
I gave you everything you ever asked me for.
I feel guilty.
Because you got a second job to try to start paying me back, you weren't eating or sleeping well.
You had a heart attack.
You died.
We didn't get to say goodbye.
I'll never get to say goodbye.
I know nothing about the funeral or where you'll be laid to rest.
I can't even send my condolences to your mother.
I hate you for dying.
I miss you.
I love you.

[Becks]

My dearest R.,

It *is* true.

WHY?!?!?!?

Please send me a sign.

Brokenhearted,

Becca

[Food Lady]

Dear Whatever It Is I'm Allergic To: Go away!! I am so tired of the dizziness and headache. I took so many pills yesterday to treat my allergy and my neck issue that I lost count. I took preventative muscle relaxer because I thought you were an oncoming cluster headache or migraine (still don't know which I have). It might've been both of you. You know, I really have no idea. Maybe this should be Dear Body. So tired of swallowing pills.

[catcul]

Dear Telemarketer,

I'm about to eat breakfast, I don't want to think about the septic tank.

Catcul

[Becks]

Dear R.,

Is the horrible news true? No one will tell me.

I've been crying at work all night.

I might have to text the last known number of your mom's.

I'm devastated.

Your angel,

Becca