Dear roomie,
Fuck you.
Love, me
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Dear asshat otherwise known as my sister,
I do not appreciate hearing OUR mother cry on the phone because you're being a bitch.
Ship up or ship out.
That is all.
Your Sister Rummy
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Dear Shpepper, Mono, and BTDT,
Thanks!!
Everything went well, although my grandma, aunts and uncles left soon after the ceremony.
I was horrifyingly nervous and really disliked being the center of attention. I knew the photographer, but the video people were nice, too.
I'm keeping my maiden name, but started a new Facebook page with the man of the household's last name, if anyone's interested in that.
Love,
Becks
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Dear Becks...congratulations! I hope everything worked out fine
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Dear Becks, Just saw the pics on FB. You were BEAUTIFUL. Also it appears you did not kill your groom......yet...... good job!
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Dear Becks,
We Love you and it will be ok. You are beautiful and wonderful and the little things are going to make your day unique. Climb in the shower, get dressed all pretty and let the rest of it go. Also, may I recommend Duct Tape and a sign saying I Do for the groom?
Helpfully,
Pepper
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Dear world,

I'm going married in about 5 hours.
I barely slept.
The groom won't shut up.
I should've been in the shower an hour ago, and here I am...not in it.
I had to clean up two different piles of cat vomit.
The decorations aren't up yet.
The guys setting up the tent for the food put it just a little bit off from where I wanted it so half if it is on a small hill.
Did I mention the groom won't shut the fuck up?!?!?!?!?
Not having a good day.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr,
--me
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Dear BIL,
You're being a fucking prick.
And last I checked, you're not the one paying for the satellite dish, so if YOU insist on having HD, YOU pay for it. I don't give a flying fuck that you're on the road so much.
Fuck you.
In a bad mood,
--me
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Dear Ana;Quoth AnaKhouri View PostDear Ron Jeremy,
I really hope that is not a promotional photo from a Mario-themed porno movie.
-Ana-

--Jack
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Dear Ron Jeremy,
I really hope that is not a promotional photo from a Mario-themed porno movie.
-Ana-
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Dear Mother Nature;
We've had this discussion before, but you clearly don't want to listen to me, so here's my new spokesman to make the point for me...
I give you Nintendo's Mario...

'Nuff said.
--Jack
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Dear Showaddywaddy,
You rock!
Reliving my childhood,
Rummy
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Dear innards,
Why do you hate me so? I'm now afraid to step into the bathroom.

Rummy
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Dear Baltimore Gas & Electric;
It was thought, at one time, that no utility company in the area could perform the job of restoring power more poorly than Pepco.
Only now, after Hurricane Irene, Pepco has outperformed you. They have totally OWNED you. Congratulations. I now get to write letters to our state's Governor, Senator(s) and Congressmen complaining about your incompetence!
I will also be submitting a bill to you for the replacement cost of all of my ruined groceries, as well as all of my out-of-pocket costs incurred by having to eat out all week. And the longer you take to pay the billed amount, the more interest I'll be tacking onto the amount due. In closing...
, BGE! 
--Jack (who is now on Day 4 without power at home... and counting.
)
Last edited by Jack T. Chance; 08-31-2011, 04:23 PM.
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Dear uni assignment,
WHY, oh, WHY, am I stuck crunching data on religious patterns between Australia, Canada and the United States? WHY?!
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