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  • #1

    Instantaneous Theology

    Instantaneous Theology

    Taoism: Shit happens.
    Confucianism: Confucius say Shit happens.
    Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.
    Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
    Hinduism: This shit happened before.
    Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
    Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.
    Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.
    Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
    Agnostic: Who gives a shit?
    Mormonism: Heavenly Father sent me this ____.
    New Age: Why did I create this shit?
    Atheism: NO shit!
    Satanism: Oh baddy! More shit!
    I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
    Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
    Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    http://www.friesian.com/no-shit.htm

    I remember reverse engineering the name to friesian.com-- it's a fascinating site! The first time I'd figured out reversing a url and filling in the gaps of history teachers (rome to the renaissance, as a matter of fact! i love this site...) What can I say? I was a nerd in high school.
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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    • #3
      Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, Knock, shit happens.

      my personal favorite.
      Thou shalt not take the name of thy goddess Whiskey in vain.

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      • #4
        Lutherans:

        Oh shit, I made hotdish.
        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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        • #5
          Mine's the Pentecostal one... 'cuz my granny's pentecostal/charismatic-- and she's actually said, "In Jesus' name, heal this shit!"

          I love my granny.
          "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
          "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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          • #6
            Quoth Whiskey View Post
            Jehovah's Witnesses Knock, Knock, shit happens.

            my personal favorite.
            Mine is Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!
            I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
            My LiveJournal
            A page we can all agree with!

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            • #7
              WBC: just plain shitty
              "We were put on this Earth to fart around, and don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." -Kurt Vonnegut

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