The Hard Questions

[AnaKhouri]

Khan (3 1/2 years old): "What's terrorism?"

It seems that after 3 1/2 years he's finally started paying attention to NPR, which I listen to all day.

I can deal with questions about genatalia, death, etc. But how do you explain terrorism to a toddler? Because I am not going to tell him he doesn't need to know. I have always encouraged questions of any type.

So I told him that terorrists are naughty people who do things to make other people feel scared. But he didn't need to feel scared of terrorists, because there are far more good guys in the world who will try to keep us safe. The naughty guys are always outnumbered and because of this they will never win.

What hard questions did your kids ask, and how did you answer them? I'm looking for ideas here myself...since I;m sure more are coming.

(my co-worker says that when her son was young, she was listening to an audio book of Lord of the Flies while she cooked and he played. Suddenly he asked her, "What happened to Piggy?" She had had no idea he'd been listening!)

[KellyHabersham]

A few which my daughter had asked me in the past:

"What's Hitler?" and "Would you ever have sex with "Tony"? (name changed, it was a guy who I knew/was friends with and wouldn't have minded dating)

[fireheart]

I once had a kid ask me "Can I be superman when I grow up?"

[Eevie]

When I was 12, my little sister stumbled in on me having my monthly gift. She was at a very curious stage at that point and naturally asked me what my period was.

Told her the best way I could at 12, that it was something that happened every month. Of course I knew more, but like hell I was going to explain that to a five year old.

Unfortunately for me, she wanted details. Why it happens....

Of course I had my mom explain the rest. What she told her that didn't completely gross her out, I'll never know.

[Mishi]

"Why does war exist?" - after I explained ANZAC Day.
and the other: "What does God look like?"

All the other questions have been easy, the only 'problem' we've had so far is our eldest explaining labour and birth to people that have asked "So, how do you think the baby will get out of Mummy's tummy?" and were expecting a cute answer.

[fireheart]

All the other questions have been easy, the only 'problem' we've had so far is our eldest explaining labour and birth to people that have asked "So, how do you think the baby will get out of Mummy's tummy?" and were expecting a cute answer.

a friend of mine had the "where did I come from" talk when he was four

Although how did eldest react when she learned how baby comes out?

[Mishi]

a friend of mine had the "where did I come from" talk when he was four

So did I! In detail... and that is exactly why we're answering questions calmly at an age-appropriate level using the correct names when they ask, instead of overloading them with all of the information at once.

Jazzy's reaction was "Oh, so that's what that is for!" followed by "But it's so small, how does that work?" followed by much laughter at the idea that birth feels a lot like doing a poo. (And yes, I told her that everything goes back to normal afterwards. I don't need her mistakenly thinking that it permanently stays baby-sized like one of my friends did!). We've also explained about caesereans and IVF, because not everyone is born/made the same way; along with fostering, adoption and surrogacy because families can be made in different ways.

[fireheart]

So did I! In detail... and that is exactly why we're answering questions calmly at an age-appropriate level using the correct names when they ask, instead of overloading them with all of the information at once.

Jazzy's reaction was "Oh, so that's what that is for!" followed by "But it's so small, how does that work?" followed by much laughter at the idea that birth feels a lot like doing a poo. (And yes, I told her that everything goes back to normal afterwards. I don't need her mistakenly thinking that it permanently stays baby-sized like one of my friends did!). We've also explained about caesereans and IVF, because not everyone is born/made the same way; along with fostering, adoption and surrogacy because families can be made in different ways.

I found out first through the "how My body works" books as they released the reproduction one around when I was seven. Mum then took me along to this talk that Family Life runs when I was around eight. They do two talks: the "Where Did I Come From" one and the "What's Happening To Me?" (centred around puberty)

As for the kid, good on you. My teaching prac next year is K-2, so I'll be looking at ways of explaining families to the kids. I sort of made it a rule from the outset that I would NOT do a prac at a private school.

[Eevie]

My parents (read "my mom") were really good at very subtlety giving us bits and pieces of the talk over time. Mom was in charge of telling me and my sister while Dad was in charge of my brother. My mom told us in a way that we didn't really realize it was a talk, but things eventually clicked naturally. Dad however.... He had a more direct approach. He told my brother the entire process at once, and even better, while he was sitting on the toilet, taking a dump.

My poor little brother was scarred. And Mom didn't find out about it until years later. Needless to say, she was pissed.