First time seriously pissed at Hubby (rant)

[Aethian]

Food is one thing I've learned about my ex is a toss up. If its ribs I should have separated them cause he got the lions share of the meat and got to experience me staring at him finishing off the last bone.

But I also had to learn to not take offense if he left half his plate since he's one of those that finished a meal after walking away from it two or three times. He learned that I like to nom on something crunchy before bed.

All give and take in every relationship and one of those things I WISH I had a second chance on.

[Peppergirl]

Oh, hon - I realize this is trivial to some people, but to you it's not. You came and vented a bit and you deserve advice or an ear, not a dogpile of how your husband isn't a mind reader, etc.

Not that it's not a valid opinion, but geez much?

As for my opinion - of course it's upsetting, no matter how trivial it seems to outsiders. You have a good relationship and the fact that this happened makes you feel that much worse because it's so rare.

All I can say (and trust me on this) is that I promise you one day you'll look back at this and laugh, WITH your hubby. And I say that with no condescension at all, truly. It will be one of those things that becomes funnier with time, especially as you weather bigger storms in your marriage.

[DeltaSierra]

Oh, hon - I realize this is trivial to some people, but to you it's not. You came and vented a bit and you deserve advice or an ear, not a dogpile of how your husband isn't a mind reader, etc.

Not that it's not a valid opinion, but geez much?

As for my opinion - of course it's upsetting, no matter how trivial it seems to outsiders. You have a good relationship and the fact that this happened makes you feel that much worse because it's so rare.

All I can say (and trust me on this) is that I promise you one day you'll look back at this and laugh, WITH your hubby. And I say that with no condescension at all, truly. It will be one of those things that becomes funnier with time, especially as you weather bigger storms in your marriage.

Thank you *hugs*

[42_42_42]

My marriage isn't as old as some, but it is still going strong after 10-1/2 years.

Please, please, please don't ever make your husband sleep on the couch. It doesn't matter how mad you are at him, he deserves to sleep in the bed you share just as much as he does. It's not your job to punish him when he does something that makes you mad and vice versa. Instead, you need to discuss with him why it made you angry and what you can do together to prevent it from happening again.

You will both do things to make the other angry. It's how you both react and act in those times that is truly important. If you are able to grow and become stronger as a couple from these incidents, then your marriage will be much better for it.

Believe me, there have been a few times when my husband has royally pissed me off, especially in our early years together when we were both still figuring out how to be married, but I never lost sight of the fact that he is my best friend, soul mate, and I love him so much it hurts.

Hope that helps!

[Pimento]

I've gained a lot of insight into the ins and outs of marriage lately, being separated and reunited and all.


All I have to say is that our new policy is being open and honest. We have worked on giving criticism in ways that are worded so as not to be offensive, and have learned to calmly reply. When emotions start running hot we've decided that someone can call "5 minutes" then we chill on our own for 5 and re approach the issue. It's helped with sorting out the small stuff to the point where we've just learned to adapt to one another.

Of course my experience is limited only having just had my one year anniversary lol

[Cookie]

Married for 4 years here and still essentially newlyweds in all the ways that matter. It's crazy, though, how sometimes this is EXACTLY the type of thing that can set one off. My hubs and I have lived well below the poverty line, come out of varying forms of abuse and dealt with the past together, disagreed over some pretty big stuff and worked it out, and then I've lost it over him getting the wrong restaurant gift certificate or something else that on the outside looks completely trivial. You've gotten a ton of advice here, but I'm just going to add this:

Your emotions are never invalid or trivial.

You felt this way for a reason. Yes, it's an invitation to work out a better system with your husband, but don't ever feel like you're wrong to be upset or you can stifle what can be your most valuable clues to a healthy relationship and your health. Letting off steam somehow, like you did here, is a great idea.

... I want to get this off my chest so I don't bite his head off again.

Yep, doing what it takes to not bite his head off is a very good idea.

[Eisa]

Oh, that would piss me off, too. I'm a slow eater and would do the same thing, two pieces now, I want some more later. Whereas my wife can eat a lot more than me, and then sometimes noms the leftovers without realizing I wanted some of them, too!

I guess at least it's a learning experience?

[Seshat]

Your emotions are never invalid or trivial.

Quoted for truth.