Death of the Jester....

[Jester]

...is hopefully a long way off. But a posting about obits on this site got me thinking about my own send off.

First of all, being nonstandard in life, I expect my send off to be equally different. I've often said I want rock music and an open bar at my funeral/memorial service. With the music, preferably a lot of Heart, Rolling Stones, and Sheryl Crow. Upbeat stuff, too, not depressing maudlin shit. I've spent my life having fun and making people laugh--the idea of making them cry just doesn't work for me. With the bar, it would have to feature good beer and rum, of course. And probably some Spanish red wine.

Also, I plan on being cremated, and having my ashes scattered both in Phoenix and Key West.

But something in the thing on obits got me really thinking about something new, as the above stuff I've said for years. A lot of times in obits you'll see requests not to send flowers, or for donations instead of flowers to some charity, etc. Not me. In mine, I'm gonna insist that they put, "instead of flowers, and in keeping with his spirit, it is requested that you buy a stranger a drink." I really like that idea.

Of course, I'm not going anywhere just yet. I do know that I want to die like my father, who went quietly in his sleep, and not like his passengers, who were screaming the whole way.

So, any other nonstandard ideas for your own passing, for when you become, as Monty Python might say, an ex-Parrot? Please, share.

[purple]

"instead of flowers, and in keeping with his spirit, it is requested that you buy a stranger a drink."

I like that idea a lot.

My own, i haven't thought about that much. My family is aware i want as natural burial as possible and music wise I would hope they know me well enough for it to be country.

To be honest I would assume any in our family would be similar to my cousins last year. Funeral, after match function and then all getting pissed at a relatives.

If one can say someone did well on a funeral, then that is what i would say happened with my cousins last year . Well enough that I have faith in my family to do me justice anyway.

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

honestly, I haven't thought about it much. I will say this though, when the time comes for me personally, I don't care what you do with my remains because at that point, that's all they are, what makes me who I am, my soul is no longer there. know what I'm sayin'?

[mathnerd]

A friend's mother has the best non-standard request ever:

My friend lives in a state that gets a lot of snow and ice. Her mother told her that when she dies, she wants to be cremated and her ashes stored in a sturdy urn and placed in the trunk of my friend's car. Then, the next time my friend gets stuck in snow/ice, she wants my friend to take her ashes out of the trunk and put them under the drive wheels so she can help my friend out of a bind one last time.

[Tama]

In that case might I suggest being an organ donor or donating your body to science?

Oh wow. That's one giving woman. Even in death, still helping people.

[Deserted]

My only instructions are to my brother. He knows that my obituary must list some entirely unbelievable cause of death. "Slowly nibbled to death by rabid piranhas" is my current favorite.

[darkroxas45]

My only instructions are to my brother. He knows that my obituary must list some entirely unbelievable cause of death. "Slowly nibbled to death by rabid piranhas" is my current favorite.

What about mauled by crazed caffeinated weasels with rabies? [Thank you Alton Brown]

[Victory Sabre]

All I know is that I will be planted in the family cemetery. Frankly, beyond that, I really don't care.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

"instead of flowers, and in keeping with his spirit, it is requested that you buy a stranger a drink."

Stolen Permanently borrowed.

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

In that case might I suggest being an organ donor or donating your body to science?

If it was my post you were referring to, ha science wouldn't want my body, trust me & with the meds that I take I doubt my organs would even be usable.

Until my folks divorced & my mom remarried the plan was to be buried in East Tx (there is a small cemetery there were my grandparents on my dad's side had plots for all of us picked out mom, dad, uncle etc. My granddad is buried there & when the time comes my uncle, my grandmother & my dad will be buried as well) but after the divorce, obviously mom isn't going to be buried anywhere other than next to her husband & that will likely be in GA

My grandmother on my mom's side, like I mentioned in another thread, my granddad, my great uncle & my grandmother made arrangements to be buried pretty much out in the middle of nowhere, the cemetery is in Weinert, TX...and now ya'll are likely going where???

my granddad is buried there, my great-grand parents are there, several aunts, uncles & a great uncle & now my grandmother is buried there

There for a while the day my grandmother died, which was close to the end of the month when money's always tight we thought we were going to have to forgo having her buried in TX & just have her buried in the cemetery down the street. 'Course all 3 of us dreaded having to make a trip out to Bumfuck nowhere, which would have added at least an extra day, if not two days to the Trip From Hell. But like I mentioned in the other thread, the funeral director suggested that we have a small service in the chapel in Ft. Worth & then afterwards, the people at the funeral home would take her out to Weinert themselves, that way, we could go on back home as soon as the service was over so that was a relief

when we went out there to bury my granddad, he died right after Christmas so he couldn't be buried until after the first of the year b/c the ground was frozen. My dad had to wear long underwear underneath his suit, it was so damn cold & he still about froze his ass off.

[strawbabies]

I want to be cremated and have my ashes mixed in with those of all of my deceased pets. After that, I don't care. I'm still trying to convince my husband that he should join us.

[AccountingDrone]

My uncle was late to his own funeral ... the funeral home sent the coffin to the wrong cemetery. So here we are - about 200 people milling around smartly in a light sleety drizzle in January in Connecticut. 45 minutes later the hearse rolls in and the planting goes on. *sigh*

[CorneliaMarieRocks]

Strawbabies, your post just reminded me about something


*Tissues may be needed for this next part*

Back when my grandmother first moved in with my mom & my step-dad she was still 'with us' mentally more so than she was at the end of her life (this was before I finally moved to GA myself) well, she had a little chihuahua dog, Selena & my mom & step-dad have 2 dogs of their own.

Anyway, mom told me that one day, just out of the blue, my grandmother told my mom that if she died while Selena was still living, that she wanted my mom & step-dad to have Selena put to sleep & she wanted Selena to be buried with her

now I'm not talking about if Selena's quality of life had degraded to the point where it would be more merciful to have her put down, nope she wanted it done no matter what, whether Selena was a year old or 18 yrs old.

Thankfully, we all overruled her on that & Selena is considered my dog now, as she has been for the past year. Sometime early last year, we finally had to put a stop to Selena sleeping with my grandmother at night & so she has slept with me since that time.

And you want to know what grandmother's reasoning was?? she was afraid that if she passed before Selena did that having another dog to take care of would be too much of a burden

Honestly, being's that my grandmother was buried out of state (TX instead of GA) I don't even know if that would have been allowed or not, even if we had wanted to go along with that cockamamee plan (just an FYI for anyone who is not aware, if someone passes away in a state that they are not intended to be buried in, in order for the remains to be able to be transported across state lines, the remains must be embalmed unless of course the remains are to be cremated & even then I think embalming has to be done)

[Seshat]

To me, the funeral/wake/etc is for the living.

My parents & birthfamily, I don't care what they do. I know they got great comfort from the way they handled my Nan's death, so they can have a memorial service of that order.

Toth, Bast, and my close friends will have their own ceremony. I want that to be a reminder of my life; wacked out and weird as it is. Maybe drag my favourite stick, my wheelchair and my scooter out, and have races up and down someone's driveway. Maybe share my clothes out among the friends who they'll fit.
I definitely want someone to make the passionfruit cookies, though. Even if it's not the season for passionfruit and they have to be made with tinned.

(* Search the off topic forum for 'passionfruit' to get the recipe. I've listed it a couple of times.)

[sms001]

Glad you're thinking ahead Jester - it's the one thing none of us will avoid.

I've already (early 50's) got my stuff written down. I'm in line w/ CMR's sentiments; donate, sell, whatever creates as little financial burden on those left behind as possible.

The wake, on the other hand, will make them glad they saved all that money.

Aren't we all gonna be surprised when it turns out some ancient culture got it right, and we shoulda showed up with as many earthly items (and parts!) as possible?