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Is there anything you're not allowed to cook anymore?

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  • #1

    Is there anything you're not allowed to cook anymore?

    I'm not allowed to make bacon. I melt it every time. Don't ask me how.

    Hubs isn't allowed to make biscuits or any sort of breaded chicken. The last time he made biscuits, he reached in the hot oven without an oven mitt to get them out and dropped the pan on a nearby rug when he burnt his hand, melting the rug a bit. Breaded chicken, he always tries too hard and the breading ends up clumpy and uneven.
    The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

    You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.
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  • #2
    In college, I was banned from making my own tea. There was one time I was making some, but because the hot water machine was on a tall counter and I'm rather vertically challenged, I kinda had to reach for it. I slipped and spilled water all over my hand. It wasn't as traumatic as my oatmeal incident (my hand got all red and I spent the next 20 minutes with it wrapped up in a wet towel), but it was bad enough for me to be fussed over by one of the ladies who worked at the cafe and for her to tell me that, from now on, I had to ask her for help with such things.
    Last edited by firecat88; 05-31-2015, 07:29 PM.
    "Things that fail to kill me make me level up." ~ NateWantsToBattle, Training Hard (Counting Stars parody)

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    • #3
      Garlic bread. Always burnt.

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      • #4
        Quoth Aragarthiel View Post
        I'm not allowed to make bacon. I melt it every time. Don't ask me how.
        I found a real easy bacon recipe on the Internet. At 20 minutes my bacon was over done and still tasty though very crispy, but turned out excellent at 15 minutes. It depends on your oven.
        "I don't have to be petty. The Universe does that for me."

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        • #5
          I didn't know you could have non burnt garlic bread. I thought growing up that it was supposed to be burnt and you just had to dig out the good bread bit in the middle.
          My Guide to Oblivion

          "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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          • #6
            When we had a coffee maker in the office, I stopped making coffee because apparently coffee that takes wallpaper off at 30 paces is not everybody's favorite
            When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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            • #7
              I'm not allowed to make tea or coffee for anyone ever. But I don't drink it, so I never quite been sure how to make it and apparently they taste bad when I try. Which is fine by me.

              I'm not allowed to cook tofu or veg burgers because apparently you aren't supposed to put them in the oven or on the bbq at the same time as meat. They were on different trays in the oven and different plates on the bbq but they apparently got 'contaminated'. (Was done on purpose because I needed to knock someone off their #^&*ing soapbox.)
              A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read. - Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

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              • #8
                My oldest son is not allowed to make grits after he set a pan of grits on fire. And by "on fire", I don't mean burned or charred. I mean literal flames in the pan.
                At the conclusion of an Irish wedding, the priest said "Everybody please hug the person who has made your life worth living. The bartender was nearly crushed to death.

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                • #9
                  Quoth mathnerd View Post
                  My oldest son is not allowed to make grits after he set a pan of grits on fire. And by "on fire", I don't mean burned or charred. I mean literal flames in the pan.
                  You reminded me of another- Hubs isn't allowed to make fried chicken anymore. He has set the actual stove top on fire TWICE making fried chicken.
                  The fact that jellyfish have survived for 650 million years despite not having brains gives hope to many people.

                  You would have to be incredibly dense for the world to revolve around you.

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                  • #10
                    My daughter would probably like to say I'm "not allowed" to cook fish......she complains about the way it makes the kitchen smell. And sometimes I'd like to tell my mom she's not allowed to use the toaster oven to make biscuits, because she always manages to burn the bottoms.
                    Last edited by KellyHabersham; 06-01-2015, 04:02 AM.

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                    • #11
                      This is a great idea for a thread!

                      I thought growing up that it was supposed to be burnt and you just had to dig out the good bread bit in the middle.
                      LOL!

                      When we had a coffee maker in the office, I stopped making coffee because apparently coffee that takes wallpaper off at 30 paces is not everybody's favorite.
                      It's my favorite!!

                      Um, I'm not allowed to "cook" candle remnants in the toaster oven because I set my dad's on fire and nearly burned the cabinets above.

                      But really, I can't make chili. It's always awful. I've tried so many recipes. My friends can even make it--vegetarian for me--and it's wonderful, and mine is always...off.
                      "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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                      • #12
                        Is there anything you're not allowed to cook anymore?

                        I'm no longer allowed to make borscht or spornge for my husband. He doesn't like beets, so the borscht was too much for him. The spornge, he just prefers his bacon and eggs separate. I can still do things like tourtière, creme brûlée, etc.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Aragarthiel View Post

                          Hubs isn't allowed to make biscuits or any sort of breaded chicken. The last time he made biscuits, he reached in the hot oven without an oven mitt to get them out and dropped the pan on a nearby rug when he burnt his hand, melting the rug a bit

                          We call that 'Pulling a Grimley'



                          For a while I wasn't allow to make frozen hamburgers. My Freshman year in High School I was trying to pry apart frozen hamburgers, and stabbed myself with the knife I was using. After a trip to the ER, and 6 stitches, it was 'Strongly recommended' to stay away from frozen hamburgers.
                          Just sliding down the razor blade of life.

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                          • #14
                            I'm generally just not allowed to cook. I've broken smoke alarms from pushing the button to turn it off so many times that our button just gave up and fell off one day.
                            Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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                            • #15
                              I'm not allowed to make mole. I tried once, and, well, it didn't go well. We've still got a few spots on the ceiling...
                              You're only delaying the inevitable, you run at your own expense. The repo man gets paid to chase you. ~Argabarga

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