Stood Up For The Second Time.

[Jester]

Not surprisingly, there is a coda to the story. Also not surprisingly, it's filled with stupidity.

Shortly after my last posting, Dingaling called out on a Friday for some dentist appointment, despite the manager telling her she needed to cover her shift. She then worked the next day, Saturday, and on Sunday called out for a bike accident. Which some people speculated was actually a cover story for her idiot ex beating her up, but her roommate, one of my coworkers, verified the bike story. Either way, management had had enough, and they told her in no uncertain terms that she was no longer part of The Bar family.

Then, apparently, because my coworker, her roommate, is so nice, Coworker bought Dingaling a one way bus ticket to Orlando, since Dingaling wanted to go live with her mom or something and start fresh. This should have been the end of it.

It wasn't. Because Coworker's credit card company contacted Coworker. Somehow, there were TWO bus tickets on her card. Somehow, miraculously and coincidentally, Idiot Ex also happened to be on the bus. Also several other charges were rang up on Coworker's card, despite coworker having the card in her possession. Coworker's theory is that either Dingaling or Idiot Ex rifled the drawer where said credit card was, which also contained Coworker's passport and other sensitive data. The credit card company is working with Coworker to try to restore the money, and of course the card and its accompanying number have been frozen. And Coworker has filed a police report.

Also through the grapevine we heard that Dingaling had gotten off the Orlando-bound bus in Miami, and was stripping in a club up there. And apparently she had been working in one of the strip clubs down here near the end of her stay, though I never heard about it until after the fact.

In any case, clearly I dodged a blonde bullet on this one. My dealings with her are clearly done, but somehow I don't think the story is. Should be interesting if any more comes to light. And I'm glad I dodged the bullet, not just for the obvious reason, but because it might have meant I might not have met or gotten involved with the woman I did, in fact, meet a couple weeks ago.

[Jay 2K Winger]

I'm guessing attention. And maybe the feeling of being pursued

That would require Jester to actually pursue her, and that would mean he would be actively trying to go out with her again. But she's the one initiating these "dates" that she doesn't show up for.

Maybe she enjoys the idea of jerking someone around like this.

Karma's gonna come calling on her one day, though.

[April]

OK, she's getting something out of this. The only question is what?

I'm guessing attention. And maybe the feeling of being pursued

[MoonCat]

OK, she's getting something out of this. The only question is what?

[Jester]

Oddly, it's not at all awkward at work. At least, not for me. (I have no idea if it's awkward for her. If it is, she hasn't really shown it that much.) Last Monday, after she stood me up for the second time, was slightly weird, but that was as much because I was so angry as anything else. Since then, I've just been bemused by the whole situation, but even with that going on, work is work, and we both do our jobs well. Really, once we're busy, our only interaction is me making her drinks. But whatever. As I said, it's become more amusing than anything else for me.

[Victory Sabre]

I'm glad, in a way, that I don't have that type of BS to deal with at work.

I do have a cute gal at work, very cute, extremely hot cute, but she's in a long term relationship, and we're best of friends.

[Seanette]

I hope she's a bit better at follow-through when it comes to serving customers, at least.

[Jester]

Well, she is nothing if not consistent.

Friday she was serving while I was bartending. Early in the shift, she asked me if I wanted to get after work "so we can talk." And she came behind the bar to give me a hug, which I did not really return.

My thought on the matter? Why not? If nothing else, it could be entertaining. Besides, based on her track record, I had my doubts whether she'd even show up, since I would be getting out of work well after her. (Just the way the schedule works.)

Anyway, she got done around 4 and left. I finished around 6, and sat down to have a drink with a friend who had come in. I was in no hurry to text the dingaling because, well, fuck her.

After a drink at my bar, my friend and I decamped to another bar around the corner. From there, I texted Dingaling telling her where I was. Anyone wanna guess what her response was?

If you guessed "none," congratulations, you win! She, who wanted to "talk," didn't even bother to text me back, not even with a lame excuse. Just nada. So an hour after my original text, I sent her a second one: "No response. How utterly shocking and atypical of you." Got no response from that one either, but didn't expect to.

Then yesterday, right as I was finishing up, she was coming in, and as she passed me, she said, "Hey there!" in a very friendly way, as if nothing had happened. Which, technically, it hadn't.

What a dingaling. Can't wait to see what her next move is.

[Akasa]

She is definitely stupid. Not vain or self-absorbed (not any more than any other woman of her age, anyways), but definitely stupid.

She's so stupid, I described some things she did that morning to Blondie, my ex from forever ago, who herself is a self-admitted dumb blonde, and here are some of Blondie's texts back to me regarding this girl (quoted verbatim, all mistakes and typing shortcuts are hers):

"Wtf she is seriously dunb"

"Holy christ she is worse than me"

"Wow just wow...at this point i don't think u should even fuck her, [jester] shes dumber than a box of rox!"

"Dumb just dumb"

"Ur IQ might drop by screwing her."

ROFL bolded.

[Jester]

She is definitely stupid. Not vain or self-absorbed (not any more than any other woman of her age, anyways), but definitely stupid.

She's so stupid, I described some things she did that morning to Blondie, my ex from forever ago, who herself is a self-admitted dumb blonde, and here are some of Blondie's texts back to me regarding this girl (quoted verbatim, all mistakes and typing shortcuts are hers):

"Wtf she is seriously dunb"

"Holy christ she is worse than me"

"Wow just wow...at this point i don't think u should even fuck her, [jester] shes dumber than a box of rox!"

"Dumb just dumb"

"Ur IQ might drop by screwing her."

[strawbabies]

I think you dodged a bullet. She's either incredibly stupid, or just really self absorbed. It sounds like you might have been the Plan B guy, who she'll try to run to if/when things don't work out her way with her ex.

[Marmalady]

For what it's worth, Jester, I think yours is the right way to go.

To do that to you, not once but twice, and then to have the gall to ask if you were pissed at her? I would say she's either too stupid to understand that she can't treat someone like that and not have them pissed at her, or so vain that she thinks she can and the person will just be OK with it. And as for the cartoon apology...

[Jester]

Update:

Sunday night, despite being in a good mood, I was very, very angry. I calmed down a lot the next day. And here's how the next day went....

Got into work, started setting up the bar as I always do, perhaps in a more focused and businesslike way than normal. She attempted a bit of small talk with me, I answered curtly, not icily, but with the bare minimum to be civil. Early on, she asked me, "Are you pissed at me?" Without even turning around to face her, I simply replied, "Maybe." Probably should have said yes, but that was what came out of my mouth. Whatever. It would be clear to anyone with half a working brain cell I was less than happy with her, because our interaction was not its normal friendly flirty self. We did talk somewhat, but only regarding work. I was polite, even friendly, in those interactions, but I am not a dick to my coworkers, even the ones I don't like.

Eventually, I got an apology....if you can call it that. Rather than actually apologize to my face, she sent me a text of a little cartoon character saying, "I'm sorry." She did this while she was still in the building with me, not 20 feet away. This is a 38 year old woman, not a 12 year old in junior high school. But that was her form of apology. I responded to that text in exactly the same way she responded to my texts and phone calls from Sunday, when we were supposed to go out: not at all.

Cartoon apology? Riiiiiight.

Her shift finished, she tipped me out (as servers tip out bartenders on liquor sales in my establishment) and she left. She did not work today, and I don't know what her schedule is. I could look it up, but frankly I don't care.

Thank you all for your feedback and letting me vent. I do have a few responses to some of your comments.

First, regarding #2, the idea of fucking her just to fuck her. Some of you think I am above that. I am not. However, I am not about to expend any effort towards that end, and she falls in my lap, so to speak, I'll ride the Tilt-A-Girl. But it would be no more than that. Her chances of dating me are deader than Bill Cosby's reputation.

Regarding #3, I am not above that either.....but to do that to someone, they would have had to do something far worse than what this girl did. Something where stranding them was the nice way out. That, or just really, really piss me off. I guess it would depend on the day. But for it to be premeditated, it would have to be far worse.

To those that suggested I court her as a fuck buddy: thank you, but no. I will not spend one iota of energy on pursuing this girl in any way. She had her chance. She had two. Now she gets none. Fuck her. No dating, no fuck buddy, no multiple partners, nada. Anything like that would involve some level of trust, and I do not see any way I could trust her. So again, thanks for your input, but that is simply not who I am. Not with someone like this.

And so I go on, and will enjoy my life, and leave her to whatever twisted existence she has, with her ex, without him, with someone else, I really don't care. I only know it won't be with me, and if I have any influence with them, it won't be with any of my friends.

I'm out.

[Mytical]

Wrong person to give ANY dating advice.. but I have to caution also about sticking ANYTHING in the crazy. Never turns out good.

[Chromatix]

But... there's crazy, then there's crazy.

I'm currently watching Mirai Nikki - aka Future Diary. The female lead is the poster child for Yandere.