Goodbye my Friend and the love of my life

[TawnyMyst]

Hugs, my condolences. Wishes and thoughts with you and yours.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

The stars shine brighter tonight because her light shines among them...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. If you need anything, don't hesistate to ask.

[Racket_Man]

I apologize if I seem to be making this about me. .

No problem there. Your story is a little like mine in that when my Mom and my Aunt passed I was not there (500 miles away and their conditions deteriorated slowly then BOOM).

With GF's passing it was more like my Father's. Father collapsed in the kitchen. EMTs got there FAST but most of the damage was already done (congestive heart failure Mom found him after maybe 5 minutes). They got him on all of the machines and by state law they had to do 2 brain scans 48 hours apart to insure there was no brain activity. That give our family just enough time (24 hours) for everyone to gather on the "final" day to say goodbye. We got to hear some interesting stories from Mom that day. After the disconnected the machines, heart and lungs continued to function (more autonomic that conscience effort). The Dr's said that could continue for a good amount of time. My youngest sister suggested we all tell him "It is time now". So we did especially Mom. Less than 5 minutes later everything stopped surrounded by family.

[drunkenwildmage]

RM,

My Condolences for you, your family, and your Girlfriend's Family.

[Ree]

I am so sorry.

[Victory Sabre]

Wow. So very sorry for your loss.

[drews]

I am very sorry for your loss. My thoughts & prayers are with you

[Eireann]

It's so awful (having been down the grief road so many times myself) to watch someone else on it and know that anything I can do is so little. For what it's worth, I know about it. I know about the 3 a.m. feeling. I know about the times when you're feeling okay, only to have a wave of grief come out of nowhere and submerge you. I can't feel exactly what you're feeling, but I know the contours of it.

Be easy on yourself.

[Antares]

I am very sorry to hear about your loss. You have my condolences.

[Eireann]

in time of daffodils (who know
the goal of living is to grow)
forgetting why, remember how

in time of lilacs who proclaim
the aim of waking is to dream,
remember so (forgetting seem)

in time of roses (who amaze
our now and here with paradise)
forgetting if, remember yes

in time of all sweet things beyond
whatever mind may comprehend,
remember seek (forgetting find)

and in a mystery to be
(when time from time shall set us free)
forgetting me, remember me.

[Sapphire Silk]

SS, thank you for translating that.

You're welcome. I love Latin. There is something about it when sung that really connects with me on an emotional level.

My favorite requiem Mass is Faure's. It is actually much more soothing and peaceful, especially by the end, than Mozart's.

[Racket_Man]

Now comes the hard part --- the aftermath

The burial is Friday afternoon

I work Friday and Saturday night. When I wake up Sunday afternoon (do not get to sleep until about 5am Sunday morning -----

I literally have nothing to do anymore (GF's daughter has said the same thing)----

No caregiving of any kind just "normal chores" like laundry and dishes,
No one to talk to
No one to annoy or laugh with
No errands to run at the moment
no shared lunch/dinner/TV time
NO etc.

For the first time in 9 years (well before GF got sick and starting when we moved in together) I am at a loss of what to do fro here on out.

[protege]

Sorry for your loss

[Sapphire Silk]

I literally have nothing to do anymore (GF's daughter has said the same thing)----

<snip>

For the first time in 9 years (well before GF got sick and starting when we moved in together) I am at a loss of what to do fro here on out.

I know exactly what you mean. I went through this very same thing when my father passed away. I threw myself into figuring out the nightmare that was Dad's morass of term and whole life insurance policies, and filing for them because Mom couldn't figure it out. I was glad to have something to focus on.

It was after I got it all sorted out that I had to deal with reality. It was hard.

Was there something specific you liked to do together? It might provide you with an outlet. Staring at the walls on your time off is not a good thing.

[Sunshine]

Remember that we are here for you and *want* to hear about your thought loop. I tend to throw myself into being the stoic person people can come talk to during loss. When my grandmother passed (suddenly from an aneurysm) I was busy protecting my mom and aunts from being overwhelmed. After the funerals, yeah, she had two....one for church, one for family.... I fell apart. I named lil Ray partly after her.